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Profile: Carmenex
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User Name: Carmenex
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
Gender: None Specified
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Joined: Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Last Visit: Tuesday, June 2, 2020 11:19:13 AM
Number of Posts: 1,120
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  Last 10 Posts
Topic: enhancing
Posted: Tuesday, June 2, 2020 11:16:09 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like to know if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
All of them could be used in one form or another. These are my suggestions:

I want to work for X Inc. because of the company’s global reach and its strong commitment to research and development in the area of fuel and lubricating oil additives, which is further enhanced by their collaboration with refiners, testing companies and other industry stakeholders. This is exemplified by X Inc.'s development of asphaltene management additives that successfully tackle the issues associated with the Y reduction requirements, resulting in improving fuel stability and compatibility whilst preventing wax build-up, and enhancing lubricity performance.


Thank you, FounDit, for your advice. Only a couple of questions: is it possible to omit the area of, and just say: ... and its strong commitment to research and development in fuel and lubricating oil additives?
Why do suggest saying ... by their collaboration with ... and not ... by its collaboration with ... since in the same sentence another its is used referring to the company?
Topic: gained
Posted: Monday, June 1, 2020 11:42:27 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in he following:
My suggestions follow. I assume you are asking for "a" or "an" rather than x or y. Use a "x" engineer if the name begins with a consonant, and "an" if it has a vowel.

In the course of my academic and professional career, I have gained a breadth of experience which I believe will enable me to succeed as a X engineer (or, alternatively, (as?) a Y engineer) at Z Inc. While working on my degree and while consulting within the T Group, I was engaged in optimizing the production process of, and coating techniques for, polymeric and composite materials. This work involved characterizing the tribological properties and abrasive wear resistance of such materials, as well as the analysis of their chemical composition, and evaluation of their physical and mechanical properties. Additionally, I have gained (a possible synonym? acquired, or "increased my", depending on the degree) experience in identifying, quantifying and mitigating hazards and managing associated risks by employing methods for risk assessment such as ...


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: I was asking whether you should include as in ... (or, alternatively, (as?) a Y engineer) ...
I noticed that you used ... characterizing ... and then ... analysis of ... and ... evaluation of ...; should it not be better to use ... characterization of ... analysis of ... evaluation of ..., or ... characterizing ... analyzing ... evaluating ...?
Topic: gained
Posted: Monday, June 1, 2020 8:55:27 AM
Hi, I would like to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in he following:
In the course of my academic and professional career, I have gained a breadth of experience which I believe will enable me to succeed as a X engineer (or, alternatively, (as?) a Y engineer) at Z Inc. Especially while working on my degree and when/while consulting within the T Group, I was/(have been) engaged in optimizing the production process of, and coating techniques for, polymeric and composite materials. This work involved the characterization of/characterizing the tribological properties and abrasive wear resistance of such materials as well as analyzing/(the analysis of) their chemical composition and (evaluating of)/evaluation their physical and mechanical properties. Additionally, I have gained (a possible synonym?) experience in identifying, quantifying and mitigating hazards and managing associated risks (by?) employing methods for risk assessment such as ...
Topic: enhancing
Posted: Friday, May 29, 2020 8:25:23 AM
Hi, I would like to know if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I want to work for X Inc. because of the company’s global reach and its strong commitment to research and development in (the area of, can it be omitted?) fuel and lubricating oil additives, which is further enhanced by the collaboration with refiners, testing companies and other industry/industrial stakeholders. This/That is exemplified by (X Inc.'s development of)/(the development of X Inc.'s) asphaltene management additives that successfully tackle the issues associated with the Y reduction requirements, (resulting in an improvement of)/improving fuel stability and compatibility whilst preventing wax build-up and enhancing lubricity performance.
Topic: over the course of
Posted: Thursday, April 30, 2020 11:03:19 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I can't comment on "flat structure" as I don't know what that means. Other than that, the first paragraph looks good to me.

Working as a trader would enable me to employ financial mathematics to model the randomness that is characteristic of the financial sector, harness the potentialities of computational thinking, and leverage these powerful tools in identifying and optimizing trading opportunities. I believe that X Inc. is the ideal place for me to pursue my professional career because of the firm’s flat structure, its capacity to diversify its business across different classes of financial products, and its strong focus on technology, including low latency solutions.
Moreover, (would you include that adverb? You can. It has the same sense of "In addition" or "Additionally")) over the course of my academic and professional career, I have been engaged in mathematical modelling, data processing and statistical analysis using Y, an object-oriented, high-level programming language. I consider the opportunity to employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because it would allow/enable me to appreciate the advantages that such a different approach to programming can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.
The last sentence seems awkward to me. Its basic structure says you consider the opportunity to employ Z an enrichment of your professional development because [and here is where it gets awkward] employing Z "allows" or "enables" you to appreciate the advantages it can deliver...".

I suggest omitting that part and saying something like:


I consider the opportunity to employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because of the advantages it can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.



Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. In your opinion, is it correct to modify the last sentence as follows:
I consider the opportunity to learn and employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because of the advantages such a different approach to programming can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.
Would it be better to omit different, and just say such (an?) approach to programming?
I don't see a big difference in meaning, just fewer words. But as we often suggest here on the forum, if you can deliver the same idea in fewer words, do so.


Thank you, FounDit. Is there any difference between I consider the opportunity to learn and employ Z ... and I consider the opportunity to learn to employ Z ..., and would it be more appropriate?
Topic: over the course of
Posted: Monday, April 27, 2020 9:35:24 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I can't comment on "flat structure" as I don't know what that means. Other than that, the first paragraph looks good to me.

Working as a trader would enable me to employ financial mathematics to model the randomness that is characteristic of the financial sector, harness the potentialities of computational thinking, and leverage these powerful tools in identifying and optimizing trading opportunities. I believe that X Inc. is the ideal place for me to pursue my professional career because of the firm’s flat structure, its capacity to diversify its business across different classes of financial products, and its strong focus on technology, including low latency solutions.
Moreover, (would you include that adverb? You can. It has the same sense of "In addition" or "Additionally")) over the course of my academic and professional career, I have been engaged in mathematical modelling, data processing and statistical analysis using Y, an object-oriented, high-level programming language. I consider the opportunity to employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because it would allow/enable me to appreciate the advantages that such a different approach to programming can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.
The last sentence seems awkward to me. Its basic structure says you consider the opportunity to employ Z an enrichment of your professional development because [and here is where it gets awkward] employing Z "allows" or "enables" you to appreciate the advantages it can deliver...".

I suggest omitting that part and saying something like:


I consider the opportunity to employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because of the advantages it can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.



Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. In your opinion, is it correct to modify the last sentence as follows:
I consider the opportunity to learn and employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because of the advantages such a different approach to programming can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.
Would it be better to omit different, and just say such (an?) approach to programming?
Topic: over the course of
Posted: Sunday, April 26, 2020 8:11:36 AM
Hi, I would like to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
Working as a trader would enable me to employ financial mathematics to model the randomness that is characteristic of the financial sector, harness the potentialities of computational thinking, and leverage these powerful tools in identifying and optimizing trading opportunities. I believe that X Inc. is the ideal place for me to pursue my professional career because of the firm’s flat structure, its capacity to diversify its business across different classes of financial products, and its strong focus on technology, including low latency solutions.
Moreover, (would you include that adverb?) over the course of my academic and professional career, I have been engaged in mathematical modelling, data processing and statistical analysis using Y, an object-oriented, high-level programming language. I consider the opportunity to employ Z, a statically typed functional language, an enrichment of my professional development because it would allow/enable me to appreciate the advantages that such a different approach to programming can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities.
Topic: (the?) God's plot
Posted: Wednesday, April 22, 2020 8:00:04 AM
Hi, I would like to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
At the beginning and (the?) end (of life), there is a/the mystery, we can say that there is (the?) God's plot. Mathematics and science approach/(get you closer to) this/that mystery, without penetrating it.
Topic: environments
Posted: Sunday, April 12, 2020 9:44:35 AM
Happy Easter, FounDit, to you, the other members of The Free Dictionary Language Forums, and your respective families.
Topic: environments
Posted: Thursday, April 2, 2020 7:12:08 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like to know if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I suggest:

When working on my degree, in order to validate the results of my mathematical and computational modelling, I worked on the design and execution of experiments in the laboratory. The experimental activity included the preparation and optimization of the physical properties of superconductors and semiconductors, which involved the use of chemicals, such as X, Y and the ethylene gas.
In particular, In order to comply with the regulations associated with the use of such chemicals, I needed to carry out the following actions:
research existing international regulations for substances to be used;
perform a thorough risk assessment analysis using both qualitative and quantitative methods in order to estimate the associated risks;
develop and adopt appropriate strategies in order to mitigate the assessed risks and limit the exposure to anyone where the work was being conducted;
• evaluate the effectiveness of the adopted measures and propose any improvement in the process that can reduce, or mitigate, risks caused by hazards.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Could I please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (which are a continutation of the previous sentences):

I wouldn't use "in particular" unless you are pointing to a specific item in a list, or group, of items. Your wording gives the impression that ethylene and oxygen will explode when they mix. But I think an ignition source is required before that can happen. So I would reword that bit.

Also, the last paragraph needs some rewording, IMO.

In particular, One of the major risks identified was the explosive potential of the mixture of ethylene gas with the oxygen in the air. In order to prevent the severe consequences of such reactions, after evacuating the system, I verified that it was vacuum-tight by checking for leakage in all the pieces of equipment used in conducting the experiments.
The measures proved to be very effective in complying with the spirit of the regulation, i.e., properly assessing and minimizing risks in any process involving the use of chemicals, since no injury, not even a minor one, occurred to anyone attending the laboratory.



Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. Only a couple of questions: why would you suggest omitting attending the environments in:
... and limit the exposure to anyone attending the environments where the work was conducted;?
Because anyone in the presence of the experiments would be in danger. That automatically makes them persons "attending the environments", so I felt is was unnecessary to say.

Since I am referring to one of the major risks identified ..., am I not pointing to a specific item in a list, and therefore, should In particular, not be included?
Why would this risk be a "particular" risk? There would be many "major" risks, so an explosive danger is just one of several "major" risks, and not a "particular" risk. I though it better to simply say this was major risk and not give it any greater significance than others. But, as always, it's your choice.



Thank you, FounDit. I agree with your reasoning. However, if For example, is omitted, can you keep the original structure including the bulleted list, and then start the following section with:
In my experimental section, one of the major risks identified was ...?