mailing list For webmasters
Welcome Guest
Profile: alpacinoutd
About
User Name: alpacinoutd
Forum Rank: Newbie
Gender: None Specified
Statistics
Joined: Sunday, October 18, 2020
Last Visit: Friday, October 23, 2020 6:52:38 PM
Number of Posts: 15
[0.00% of all post / 2.14 posts per day]
Avatar
  Last 10 Posts
Topic: sounds from a construction site
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 5:27:48 PM
Hello all.

I want to know how different sites coming from a building site can be described.

Imagine they are constructing a building close to where you live. How would you describe those sounds?

The person who hears these noises is not fond of them.

This is what I have right now:


I could hear the sound of the angle grinder polishing the stone, the sound of the drill making a hole in the concrete and the sound of the hammer beating against the stones.


How can I make it more accurate?
Topic: cars passing from a water-filled hole
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 12:10:50 PM
I found an example with swoosh and cars in Oxford dictionary and I thought it might work here:

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/swoosh_1

FounDit wrote:


I don't think that works well. Water makes a swooshing sound, but not cars. Also, swooshing past a puddle would indicate the car missed the puddle.

Using my previous sentence, I would say, "A car passed close by, drenching him with a geyser of water and soaking him to his skin."
Topic: how to avoid saying it was...
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 12:08:47 PM
How should I make a connection? Obviously, John and Jane are friends.

FounDit wrote:
The problem as I see it is that you don't have the lazily rising sun connected to John in San Diego.
Topic: how to avoid saying it was...
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 10:40:45 AM
Okay. So, the time difference between Johannesburg and San Diego is 9 hours.

So, does this work?

Jane was walking home. The afternoon sun was burning fiercely in Johannesburg. In San Diego, John was fast asleep. The sun was lazily rising in the cloudless sky.

Romany wrote:

Not an expert, of course - but aren't there two different time zones in the USA? Would your sentence pertain in both zones? ( expect, though, that you've realised by now that a writer spends more time researching than in actually writing? So will assume that works for both.)


"just lifting itself above the mountains" is pretty pedestrian. It doesn't conjure up anything more than that it's sunrise. One might as well simply say "In America it was sunrise." There's absolutely no reason not to.

However, to contrast:
If the sun is "burning" and if, even more evocative, it's burning "fiercely" , the contrast is achieved by finding a contrast to that actual phrase: "burning fiercely" .

"Waking lethargically."
"Lazily rising."

Both show it's sunrise - but the slow energy of a mild sun contrasts with the energy of a fiercely, burning one. Sounds more complicated to explain than it actually is, doesn't it?
Topic: how to avoid saying it was...
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 9:31:06 AM
Interesting indeedDancing

What if I want to draw contrast between two different time zones?

The midday sun was was burning fiercely in South Africa. It America, the sun was just lifting itself above mountains.

Again, an interesting way.

Romany wrote:
But was it noon?

If so "The midday sun was was burning fiercely in South Africa."

If it's afternoon - "South Africa was dozing in a post-prandial haze."
"In South Africa the hours crept stickily towards evening."
"In South Africa it was the hottest part of the day and only fools in cities were not dozing it away.

Three registers: semi-formal, imaginative, colloquial. Because it depends on what you mean by 'interesting'.
Dancing
Topic: cars passing from a water-filled hole
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 9:27:41 AM
Thanks folks.

Does this work?

It had rained all afternoon. A car swooshed past a puddle, splashing water on him. He was drenched to skin.
Topic: cars passing from a water-filled hole
Posted: Thursday, October 22, 2020 7:27:43 PM
Hello all.

I'm trying to describe a situation where it has rained and the holes in the streets are full of water as a result of raining.
Then cars pass and splash water and make a sound.

It had rained all afternoon. He could hear the sound of passing cars splashing water over the street.

Obviously, there must be a better way to express this.
Topic: how to avoid saying it was...
Posted: Thursday, October 22, 2020 7:04:27 PM
Hello.

I'm looking for a way to avoid saying "it was noon" in this context:

He received an email. It was Paul. It was afternoon in South Africa.

Is there something I can say about the sun? Something like this?:

He received an email. It was Paul. The afternoon sun was shining in South Africa.

I need something which is more interesting.
Topic: I need vocabulary to describe this photo
Posted: Wednesday, October 21, 2020 5:49:49 AM
It was a superb piece of writing.

FounDit wrote:

I did a first draft last night and it turned out a bit shorter than I anticipated. Check your inbox.
Topic: I need vocabulary to describe this photo
Posted: Monday, October 19, 2020 3:19:03 PM
FounDit wrote:

Well, okay, if you like. But rather than create a very long and detailed post here, I'll work on it when I have some time and send it to you in a PM.


I'm looking forward to it.