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Do you believe in soulmate? Options
biba
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 8:26:57 PM

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What is soulmate? Do you believe in soulmate?
Richard
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 8:35:10 PM
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As an existentialist, no. As a romantic fool, yes.
26letters
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:04:25 PM
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biba Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 8:26:57 PM
What is soulmate? Do you believe in soulmate?


26letters writes: Only when we're talking about shoes.

Just kidding. I think when someone refers to someone as their "soul-mate", they feel this person is the most compatible one they've ever met. They "click". They seldom have disagreements, they like the same things, etc.

But time is needed to make that determination. Too many people think they have met their soul-mate, only to find that as time goes on, they are less and less alike.
biba
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:12:06 PM

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26letters wrote:
biba Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 8:26:57 PM
What is soulmate? Do you believe in soulmate?


26letters writes: Only when we're talking about shoes.

Just kidding. I think when someone refers to someone as their "soul-mate", they feel this person is the most compatible one they've ever met. They "click". They seldom have disagreements, they like the same things, etc.

But time is needed to make that determination. Too many people think they have met their soul-mate, only to find that as time goes on, they are less and less alike.


Thank's 26letters letters but do you really believe in soulmate?
have you found yours?Angel
biba
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:13:59 PM

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Richard wrote:
As an existentialist, no. As a romantic fool, yes.


As a romantic fool? why? would you mind to explain more?thank you..Angel
Richard
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:21:54 PM
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biba wrote:
Richard wrote:
As an existentialist, no. As a romantic fool, yes.


As a romantic fool? why? would you mind to explain more?thank you..Angel




Yes, I would mind. You're welcome.
26letters
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:36:21 PM
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biba Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:12:06 PM
Thank's 26letters letters but do you really believe in soulmate?
have you found yours?


26letters writes: I guess I don't really believe in it. I think some relationships simply take less work than others.

I've been married now for more than 35 years and at this point I would say that we are soul-mates. But it was a rough beginning. I was extremely independent and I still am, only not in the same way. Also, I didn't trust men. I didn't think they could be faithful or trusted. I had dated a lot of not-so-nice guys.

Adding to the difficulty in our relationship, was the fact that he had experienced a failed marriage and was afraid that I would leave too. I never entertained the thought of leaving, per se. When things felt impossible, I was inclined to think about suicide. I was suicidal from a very young age and difficulties put my mind into that mode, just by default. It took years to be convinced that this marriage was going to work. But, it was worth the effort.

It's really a wonder that I got married at all, since I never planned to. But when I met my future husband, I was so impressed with his decency - he really was and still is a very good man. He's honest, a very hard worker and trustworthy. We feel the same way about everything that is important: children, religion, communication, mutual respect, money, friends, career, etc.

(Just thinking about it makes me want to give him a big, slobbery kiss.)

MarySM
Posted: Thursday, July 15, 2010 10:30:34 PM
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The idea of having a “soulmate” seems romantic and a little silly to me. I have spent the last 37 years of my life with my husband (34 of those years married) and I respect, appreciate, and love him. However, had I ended up with someone else I believe my life would have been different-probably worse in many ways and possibly better in other ways? I doubt that I would have spent my life alone. Now that he is seriously ill the little annoyances from before seem really insignificant and the good times much more precious.
Martinbeco
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 1:02:08 AM

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biba wrote:
What is soulmate? Do you believe in soulmate?


No, I believe we can all develop good relationships, if we really want to.
jupiter
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 6:38:29 AM
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I think concepts like soul mate are imagined stuffs best read and forgotten in poems and novels.
One may believe in it at certain times however that very belief may cause disappointment at others for abstract things can't be found in reality, even if seemingly found won't last for an eternity.
Having a pragmatic approach to life helps, as nothing that is humane is perfect.
Hope that wasn't a pessimistic approach Anxious
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 8:14:32 AM
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Indeed for being a soulmate, two people must have (almost) the same likings and dislikings. While I don't know how many such couples are there, I know for sure that for a relationship to be successful and happy, there is no need for the two to be soulmates of each other.
In fact, it is often said that 'opposites attract'. Though some similarity can always help.
But if the two are absolutely similar, then there will be little fun and life would become boring.
Which is why I think it is rarely the case that very happy relationships consist of two extremely similar persons.
oxymoron
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 8:34:15 AM
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kisholoy mukherjee wrote:
Indeed for being a soulmate, two people must have (almost) the same likings and dislikings. While I don't know how many such couples are there, I know for sure that for a relationship to be successful and happy, there is no need for the two to be soulmates of each other.
In fact, it is often said that 'opposites attract'. Though some similarity can always help.
But if the two are absolutely similar, then there will be little fun and life would become boring.
Which is why I think it is rarely the case that very happy relationships consist of two extremely similar persons.


22 years old and knows it allApplause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause Applause
AJC
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 8:56:07 AM
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kisholy,

Since so many Indian marriages are arranged (even here in the states)how does romance or being a soulmate even have a chance to enter into the relationship? Not that our western idea of marriage is working so well,considering the high divorce rate.
Vickster
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 9:25:54 AM
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soulmate...ha that's a laugh. That's just people's fantasy world hoping beyond everything that there is that one person who fulfills them... that isn't possible.. Yes, there are the few that are very compatible and they are best friends and lovers... but that's not going to happen to everyone. There are to many disrespectful selfish and dishonest people in this world to believe that there is someone out there for everyone... soulmate... Please!!
Cat
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 10:22:06 AM

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Yes, I believe in the idea of soul mate. It's a term that people use to describe their relationship. Do I believe everyone has one? Not sure. I don't know that I have the time to meet enough people to find out if it's true for me.

Romantic foolishness? So what? I'd rather be a romantic fool than an alcoholic. It's positive. I intend to kiss my way to true love. If I find it, fine. If I don't, kissing is certainly a pleasant way to spend the rest of my years.
schrodinger's cat
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 10:36:10 AM
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Plato wrote in Symposium that there used to be three genders: man-man, woman-man and woman-woman, each of these had four arms and legs and one head with two faces. Gods began to fear these people because they were very powerful, that's why they decided to split them in half. As a result, we are only half a person now and spend our lives looking for that missing half, whether it be a man or a woman.
Cat
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 10:41:43 AM

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km, since I love challenging you I will add that my experience has been that having a lot in common with someone does not guarantee marital success. I married someone I thought I had all the important things in common with. Religion, culture, kids, food, etc. But I have found it takes more than that. There are variables to marriage that transcend understanding.

My advice is to know yourself profoundly. This takes time. Some opposite characteristics attract, others repel.

If human DNA is 98% compatible with chimpanzee DNA, that means the 2% is incredibly important. Same with relationships. Find the differences and decide whether you can live with them.

I'm telling my kids, son 15 and daughter 13, that now is the time to check out personalities and what works or doesn't work for them. This is the basis. My daughter has already determined that she needs attention. Being ignored doesn't work for her. I don't talk about true love or soul mates. That would give them a target to aim at and not everyone gets a look at that target.

Happiness is my target. I want to find someone who doesn't tell me what to do and what to think. I'll feel like I've found a soul mate then. Someone who respects my differences and doesn't try to mold me into their image of a soul mate.

km, I love challenging you because it spurs my thinking. Thank you. I happen to love thinking.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 11:27:57 AM
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@AjC

It is true that a large number of Indian marriages are arranged by the family and indeed there is hardly any chance of the partner being a 'soulmate'.
However, if you consider relationships which are either not arranged marriages or are pre-marital romances, then I think the scene is pretty much the same in India as in western countries. It has been so always, as far as I know. Every person obviously wants to find a partner who is best fit for him/her (which by the way is what most people mean as 'soulmate'.
For me at least, that is the case.)

@ Cat

You said: " having a lot in common with someone does not guarantee marital success"

Totally agreed. Not just marriage but any romantic relationship.
THAOPH
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 11:38:45 AM
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biba wrote:
What is soulmate? Do you believe in soulmate?

My soulmate is a half of my heart and to believe in him is the best way to make the life easier.
Ramiel
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 12:07:51 PM
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I heard someone describe two important people to him. One as his soul mate, the other as the love of his life. Can someone explain the difference? Thanks
BUNNY
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 12:27:46 PM
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My husband is my "soul-mate."
But we are very much opposites in many ways. That is perfectly OK to be different. We don't have the same thoughts about most things but we are accepting of each others wants, desires and needs. We don't always agree, but we can accept that in each other.
The areas that we are the same are the more important areas of life. We both think family comes first. We are both hard workers and are very dependable. We respect each other to a fault. We are very much each others champion.
I can think of noone else I could have spent my life with that would have made me so happy and we have been together a little over 30 years. He is my rock when I need something to steady me, my rutter when I need someone to help guide me but most important, he is the one that I can express my deepest, darkest feelings or just cry my woes to with out worring about my emotions being laughed at or made fun of. He is the one who can pick me up when I am down or bring me back to earth when I get so full of myself. He is always there when I need a friend. He is my best friend!
So, yes, I do believe in a "soul-mate" and I cherish mine very much. Dancing Applause Dancing Applause Bunny
Ramiel
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 1:24:25 PM
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That was beautiful Bunny and very humbling. So many strive for the intimacy and love you both obviously share. Enjoy your time together. God ( or whoever ye believe in!)bless you both :-)
Susie
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 5:22:51 PM
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Angel A soulmate, sure. I think it takes time though to realize the person is just that. Someone who knows you enough to nudge you in the right direction and hold a bit tighter when you need to be stopped. They respect you and understand you, even if they don't always agree with you.
To understand who your soul mate is though, I believe you have to be a certain level of maturity. You can be young (high school sweethearts) but you have to be at a certain level of trust,love, understanding to see it.
kaleem
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 6:02:03 PM
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Yes, I do!

Geeman
Posted: Friday, July 16, 2010 9:23:56 PM

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What a lot of people call "soul mates" are probably really just "life partners." Surely a true "soul mate" would have to be something supernatural pretty much by definition. I'm not 100% on the whole "soul" thing in the first place, so I don't know if it's possible to have a mate to something that might or might not exist at all. On a good day, sure, I believe. By Monday morning I'm not so sure....
schrodinger's cat
Posted: Saturday, July 17, 2010 6:57:42 AM
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Soul mates as in born for each other. Two people that fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

There has been some research done into how people choose their partners. It was suggested that the sense of smell has an important role as we with the help of the smell pick out partners with a complementary immune system. This will make the kiddies more resilient to diseases. Very romantic.

I think I'll leave it at that, don't want to depress anyone. Anxious
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Saturday, July 17, 2010 7:31:46 AM
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I find the theories about the choice of partners which are based on how their children are going to end up quite funny but unrealistic.
redsxz
Posted: Saturday, July 17, 2010 8:39:22 AM
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schrodinger's cat wrote:
Soul mates as in born for each other. Two people that fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

There has been some research done into how people choose their partners. It was suggested that the sense of smell has an important role as we with the help of the smell pick out partners with a complementary immune system. This will make the kiddies more resilient to diseases. Very romantic.

I think I'll leave it at that, don't want to depress anyone. Anxious


Too late. Boo hoo!
kr90806
Posted: Saturday, July 17, 2010 9:19:30 AM
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The belief in a soulmate indicates something pre-ordained. If you believe in God and you believe in the immortal soul; then you have to accept that your choice of a mate is pre-ordained. Which flies in the face of the concept that as humans, we are "blessed" with free will.
Yorker
Posted: Saturday, July 17, 2010 4:20:45 PM
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It is possible to have 2 or 3 compatible partners at different times in our lives but I wouldn't call these soul mates. Over a lifetime we grow and develop emotionally, our interests change and unfortunately we drift apart, a soul mate at 20 is not someone you would choose later in life. We also live longer, 100/200 years ago people died young, some in childbirth, some through incurable diseases and they would take other partners, rarely would a relationship go on into old age.

I’m a cynic, fifteen to seventeen years is long enough for most serious relationships, if it lasts any longer, without major personal mental or physical injury to either partner, it’s a miracle and the couple deserve some sort of lifetime achievement award for endurance.

sisikou
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 7:28:33 AM
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Now I realize what is spam message. Speak to the hand Speak to the hand
blue2
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 7:41:11 AM

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And how to mark it as spam, I assume...
man in black
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 8:44:37 AM
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No matter how many failures and dissapointments you endure the quest for your soul mate should never be relinquished. I agree with Cat in the search of your romantic half. That it takes time and also depends on chance and circumstances that is very true. People who are sociable are more likely to find that person since interacting with others is important. Now, without sounding elitist or discriminatory I believe that persons with a more refined and cultured taste have a harder time finding their soul mate than uncultured and rude folks. The expectations in the formers are higher and the world to be built together far richer, but at the same time much more rewarding.
rluna
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 10:11:52 AM
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No.
sisikou
Posted: Monday, May 9, 2011 10:20:50 AM
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I once thought soulmate exists...kept on proper distance with my soulmate.
Ten years passed, he somehow turns into my husband.Brick wall Brick wall Brick wall

Soulmate language: Well! You computer is broken. I could help fixed it!
Me: Cool!!What a nice soulmate!
(two months passed after the so called soulmate fixed my computer once a week.)
My computer totally broke down!!!!!!!!

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