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Drunk Talk Options
Kat
Posted: Sunday, April 19, 2015 6:39:59 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/19/2009
Posts: 878
Neurons: 3,389
DRUNK TALK:

Is it the truth because people lose their inhibitions?
Should any of it be overlooked because of the drunkenness?
The reason I'm asking is, a very close friend of mine
is now in A.A. and thriving. Happy to say she is approaching
her fifth month of sobriety.
Over the past twenty something years or so, she has made
some very serious passes at me in different stages of
inebriation...including several marriage proposals, which I
of course laughed off. Her persistence and inappropriate
behavior in other ways, caused me to stop all communication for
a period of nearly two years. My husband is aware of all of this.
Hers is not.
We were then, and still are, married to the same gentlemen.
She is now at the place in A.A. where she must apologize for
past indiscretions. I do not need an apology and would feel
very awkward asking for one, as I am pretty sure she has no
memory of any of this.
I'd like to keep my mouth shut and forget it...what do you think?



Newagenda
Posted: Sunday, April 19, 2015 7:47:08 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/27/2012
Posts: 196
Neurons: 1,957
DRUNK TALK:

Is it the truth because people lose their inhibitions?
Should any of it be overlooked because of the drunkenness?
The reason I'm asking is, a very close friend of mine
is now in A.A. and thriving. Happy to say she is approaching
her fifth month of sobriety.
Over the past twenty something years or so, she has made
some very serious passes at me in different stages of
inebriation...including several marriage proposals, which I
of course laughed off. Her persistence and inappropriate
behavior in other ways, caused me to stop all communication for
a period of nearly two years. My husband is aware of all of this.
Hers is not.
We were then, and still are, married to the same gentlemen.
She is now at the place in A.A. where she must apologize for
past indiscretions. I do not need an apology and would feel
very awkward asking for one, as I am pretty sure she has no
memory of any of this.
I'd like to keep my mouth shut and forget it...what do you think?

What do I think?
I would have taken a hard look at my Karma which I believe in it. You had stopped all communication with her after some twenty years, to me, which meant your had paid your Karma dept! Now you make decision to keep your mouth shut and forget it... I think you do is the right thing.
Todd C. Williams
Posted: Sunday, April 19, 2015 8:56:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/25/2009
Posts: 78
Neurons: 10,440
Location: Camas, Washington, United States
Keep your mouth shut. If you were not offended, which it sounds like you were not, there is no use in the apology. Friends let stupid stuff like this roll off their backs. It sounds like you were there for her through thick and thin. Be proud of her work, you have no idea how hard this has been for her. She is your friend. Wallow in that friendship.
Miriam...
Posted: Sunday, April 19, 2015 9:35:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/20/2012
Posts: 1,032
Neurons: 12,634
I don't think you should dredge up all that now.
I think a simple apology for whatever indiscretions
she might have comitted
is enough to express a heart felt
remorse for her offences. If she feels
She needs to apologize, it may be for her sake
as well as yours. Just accept it with humble grace.
Kerry.P
Posted: Wednesday, April 22, 2015 8:54:33 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/7/2012
Posts: 2,657
Neurons: 13,143
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
You've been given some generous advice; I hope it helps set your mind at peace.
early_apex
Posted: Thursday, April 23, 2015 1:00:10 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/20/2009
Posts: 2,281
Neurons: 12,855
Location: Spindletop, Texas, United States
I would add, that during to apology stage, apologies should not be made when the recipient would be made uncomfortable by it. This is what I understand from people who are closer to the process than I am. So I think that the advice you have already received is sound.
ithink140
Posted: Friday, April 24, 2015 5:52:07 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/4/2013
Posts: 2,453
Neurons: 17,922
Kat, I think it is unwise to seek advice from invisible folk behind a keyboard who know neither you nor your erstwhile friend.

On a broader issue you wonder if folk reveal their inner selves when uninhibited. I would think that likely, but have no proof to offer. Perhaps people have demons they fight all their lives, and the conduct they display when not uninhibited is really who they want to be, and we should respect that.

Only you have the answer to your dilemma, and I suspect you know that, since from your past posts you strike me as an intelligent person.



Kat
Posted: Monday, April 27, 2015 10:32:47 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/19/2009
Posts: 878
Neurons: 3,389
I wasn't really looking for a yes or
no answer...just different perspectives,
and I definitely got some.
Happy to say my friend is still sober,
and no apologies have been necessary.
Thank you all for your enlightening views.
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