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"Love means never having to say you're sorry." Options
owlishmonstrosity
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 9:30:03 AM
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"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Well...?
Luftmarque
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 10:05:20 AM

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Location: Pau, Aquitaine, France
That hack-originated bromide seems to be at odds with the reality of human experience, isn't it?
owlishmonstrosity
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 10:09:24 AM
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Joined: 9/4/2009
Posts: 69
Neurons: 195
Yeah..I really don't get it.

What about this:
"Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes."
Well...?
MarySM
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 10:22:44 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/22/2009
Posts: 1,627
Neurons: 6,084
Apologies are often warranted and should be offered for any wrong doing, intentional or otherwise. People you love should, especially, receive a sincere “I’m sorry” when it is called for. Hopefully none of us will ever need to write a letter of apology like this one from Jokesandhumor.com!

Letter of Apology
________________________________________
When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a "dirty son of a bitch" to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office Christmas Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today and as this is my last day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you.

First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I called you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is not a baboon, nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a delightful woman, and my story of you buying her for 50 cents in Tijuana was strictly a figment of my imagination. Your children are undoubtedly yours, too. About the water cooler incident, you'll never know how badly I feel about it, and I hope you didn't hurt your head when they were trying to get the glass jug off.

To Mary, I express my deepest regrets. In my own defense, I must remind you that you seemed to enjoy our little escapade on the stairway as much as I did until the bannister broke and we fell eight feet to the second floor landing. In spite of the rupture you incurred when I landed on top of you, I am sure you will admit that when we landed it was one of the biggest thrills you have ever had.

Sam, you old cuss, you've just got to forgive me for that little prank I played on you. If I had known you were goosey, I'd have never done it. It would have been a lot worse if that fat lady hadn't been standing right under the window you jumped through. She really broke your fall a lot. People have been killed falling three stories.

Gene, I regret telling the fireman it was you who turned in the false alarm. But, of course, I had no way of knowing they would make such a bad report of it. Those fire hoses sure have a lot of pressure don't they? And the water is cold!!

Don, I know how you must feel about me. Opening the door to the broom closet suddenly must have startled you and Millie quite badly, and to think how hard you bumped your chin on the shelf when you bent over to pull up your pants, it makes me sick. We'll have to get together for dinner some night after the dentist finishes your plates.

Nancy, the only excuse I can offer for stealing all your clothes and hiding them when I found you passed out in the ladies room, is that I was drunk. Also, I want you to know I was very embarrassed when I couldn't remember where I hid them and you had to go home in that old sofa cover. Running your falsies up the flag pole was a bit too much, but like I said, I was a little drunk.

To all of you, I am sorry. Setting Jan's panties on fire seemed funny at the time, and it makes me sad to hear that her husband is divorcing her because of it.

Urinating in everyone's drink was in bad taste, and not telling them about it until all the drinks were gone was even worse.

Now that I have apologized to all of you and know that I am forgiven, I will do my darnest to come to the picnic......
b.durai
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 11:18:03 AM
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Posts: 25
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Location: India
"Love means never having to say"
grammargeek
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 11:45:57 AM
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Location: Arizona, U.S.
owlishmonstrosity wrote:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Well...?


I read Love Story when I was a young teenager. That was probably the first time I'd read a book that absolutely brought me to tears. My mother heard me sobbing and came into my room to see what was wrong, and I remember how embarrassed about it I was at the time.

Nevertheless, the line you quoted is one I never really understood. So many years have gone by since I either read the book or watched the movie that I can't remember now if it somehow made any sense in context. But as a stand alone line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," seems hollow and useless at best, and just plain contradictory to the truth of loving relationships, at worst.
Susie
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 12:26:37 PM
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Joined: 2/11/2010
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I agree that it seems contradicting. I always say I am sorry when I do something wrong, if I love the person or not. It is the right thing to do.
As for the person I love, I know we hurt the ones we love, but ignoring that makes it taking advantage of that person. I don't do that, so my appologies are forthcoming after something I do wrong, all the time.
Love to me is always communicating, good or bad. Just know that you should be gentle when it's bad, so not to hurt your loved one as much.
Did I make sense?Think
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 1:21:49 PM
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b.durai wrote:
"Love means never having to say"


Means you shouldn't even talk to your loved one?
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 1:23:21 PM
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That would be a fake love, if you are not saying sorry. No one can live his/her entire life without making the smallest mistake.
Sometimes, in love, you may have to say sorry even if you haven't done something wrong, if the loved one is feeling sad. Just to make the person feel better.
Geeman
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 2:43:05 PM

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owlishmonstrosity wrote:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Well...?

Well, there's some truth to that. If someone loves you, you can be a rude, inconsiderate jerk. I don't think that necessarily means you should go that route. After all, love is no reason to forget one's manners, and I'd think you'd want to be polite to someone who loved you out of sheer common curtesy and gratitude, but technically speaking I think the phrase has some truth to it.
Blazeioi
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 3:37:09 PM
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Joined: 4/6/2010
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i don't believe anyone should ever have to be sorry.

if people were reasonable then "wrong doing" would not be as prevalent. if "wrong doing" wasn't as prevalent then when ever things happened that were, for lack of a better word, unfavorable or unfortunate then we should be able to understand that it would be an accident.

i put wrong doing in quotations because adjectives are subject to interpretation and i do not know your, who ever that may be, interpretation.
b.durai
Posted: Wednesday, April 7, 2010 12:02:22 AM
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Location: India
kisholoy mukherjee wrote:
b.durai wrote:
"Love means never having to say"


Means you shouldn't even talk to your loved one?


Love means never having to convey. Especially not by words. ( According to me :) )
owlishmonstrosity
Posted: Wednesday, April 7, 2010 2:07:06 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/4/2009
Posts: 69
Neurons: 195
b.durai wrote:
kisholoy mukherjee wrote:
b.durai wrote:
"Love means never having to say"


Means you shouldn't even talk to your loved one?


Love means never having to convey. Especially not by words. ( According to me :) )


Yeah...Sometimes there is no need for words. At other times things are just totally beyond words. Some wives just love to talk though...banter blabber gabble gibber...just kiss her to shut her up...Shhh
peterhewett
Posted: Thursday, April 8, 2010 5:49:02 AM
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'Love means you never have to say you are sorry' is, in my view, such a silly ill thought out cliche.

Presumanbly if one has hurt or done wrong one would want to say sorry....that is so natural.
armi
Posted: Thursday, April 8, 2010 5:58:50 AM
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Location: United Kingdom
There is nothing more gracious than saying sorry to a person that you love. It is not to be fround at, it can easy many misunderstandings and is peacful way of reconciling diffrence.
There no point being in emotional defcit with another its about showing your emotional maturity.
We can learn alot about humility and finding a middles ground when we learn to feel, hear and understand impact that was made in that moment
so show that part of you and see its strenght
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Thursday, April 8, 2010 6:08:21 AM

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Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
this was such a catchy phrase in my youth, though cliched now..... and the way segal used it in the book, it seemed quite appropriate. it now seems so meaningless.....
Another modern cliche, bandied about to nauseating limits is 'unconditional love'.... a dainty, high-sounding emotion.... but few realize that it takes huge spiritual evolution to be capable of this! Certainly it is not to be used in the context of most romances.......
pedro
Posted: Thursday, April 8, 2010 6:44:35 AM
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Joined: 5/21/2009
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owlishmonstrosity wrote:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Well...?



Being a dictator produces the same effect

kauserali
Posted: Thursday, April 8, 2010 9:23:41 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/18/2009
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Location: Saudi Arabia
If you truly love someone, first off, you never say/do anything to hurt them. So, no need to say sorry. In this context, this phrase is agreeable.

But, since we are humans and sometimes it so happens that we do hurt our loved one, although unintentionally. The best thing to do is say sorry and make up to them...

How long can a person wait for someone to say sorry? After all, sorry seems to be the hardest word.... so sad... so sad, its a sad sad situation....
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Thursday, April 8, 2010 9:29:54 PM

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Being married nearly 29 years, never counted how many times I said I'm sorry. Every time counts.
nastasia
Posted: Monday, May 17, 2010 3:58:50 PM
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Joined: 5/9/2010
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Location: Greece
grammargeek wrote:
owlishmonstrosity wrote:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Well...?


I read Love Story when I was a young teenager. That was probably the first time I'd read a book that absolutely brought me to tears. My mother heard me sobbing and came into my room to see what was wrong, and I remember how embarrassed about it I was at the time.

Nevertheless, the line you quoted is one I never really understood. So many years have gone by since I either read the book or watched the movie that I can't remember now if it somehow made any sense in context. But as a stand alone line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," seems hollow and useless at best, and just plain contradictory to the truth of loving relationships, at worst.


Having both seen the film and read the book too, I would only say that the real meaning of this line can only exist within the concept of the specific plot. For me one would certainly feel the depth of these words in the relationship Oliver and Jenny had, the way they felt for each other and how things were really for them then. They had the kind of love which did not ask for any kind of forgiveness. It does not necessarily apply to all or other relationships no matter how deep love can be. We certainly do not fall in love and remain in love in the same way. And I definitely believe there are affairs where love and the link is so strong that saying you are sorry is an alien word,it would not fall in with the whole atmosphere.It is both the intimacy and the bond that takes the partners to an advance level where such words would only interprete procedures of low standards.
HWNN1961
Posted: Tuesday, May 18, 2010 9:52:26 AM
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Oh yeah! Not with my girl. I'm still apologizing for things I did (or forgot to do) 2 years ago!
owlishmonstrosity
Posted: Tuesday, May 25, 2010 9:45:30 AM
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Joined: 9/4/2009
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grammargeek wrote:
owlishmonstrosity wrote:
"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
Well...?


I read Love Story when I was a young teenager. That was probably the first time I'd read a book that absolutely brought me to tears. My mother heard me sobbing and came into my room to see what was wrong, and I remember how embarrassed about it I was at the time.

Nevertheless, the line you quoted is one I never really understood. So many years have gone by since I either read the book or watched the movie that I can't remember now if it somehow made any sense in context. But as a stand alone line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," seems hollow and useless at best, and just plain contradictory to the truth of loving relationships, at worst.




hmmm..makes me want to read the book...gotta make sure I'm out of mom's earshot though
cocoder
Posted: Wednesday, May 26, 2010 11:30:39 AM
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If someone loves you enough, then it's probably true...you don't HAVE to say your sorry. But if you love them, you should want to apologize if you hurt them. Because eventually, if you keep hurting them and never apologizing, they may stop loving you.
Vickster
Posted: Wednesday, May 26, 2010 11:45:06 AM
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Love means never having to say you're sorry this means ..to me... that if you love someone you won't do anything or say anything that you would need to apologize for...

But in all seriousness... I love my children more than life... but have apologized for my actions... knowing I was very wrong and let my emotions get the best of me... I'm not perfect..and you'd have to be perfect to say that qoute to anyone!!!
pinstern
Posted: Thursday, May 27, 2010 7:23:27 AM
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Love doesn't mean you don't need to say sorry when you do some mistakes
26letters
Posted: Monday, June 7, 2010 5:15:06 PM
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I could never figure out whether the originator of this silly phrase meant that if you really love someone, you won't ask for an apology OR whether it meant if you really love someone you'll never do something that you'd have to apologize for.

Personally, I apologize very quickly, even for minor things. I find that if the readiness is always there to apologize, my mind is open to reason. And it cools a potentially bad situation.

I'm especially sure to make it clear where someone else is being blamed for something that I did. I would never want someone else to have to pay for my mistakes.

Regarding saying, "I love you.": It reminds me of the song in Fiddler on the Roof, where Tevye asks his wife if she loves him. She just can't seem to come out and say it. When they finally do say it to each other, the song goes,

"It doesn't change a thing
but even so,
after 25 years,
it's nice to know."
risadr
Posted: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 9:23:29 AM
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I think that the quote "Love means never having to say you're sorry" is intended to mean that the one you love should forgive you, regardless. Even in the absence of an apology.

I always say "I'm sorry" if I make a mistake or hurt someone, though. It's just the proper thing to do.
AnthA1G
Posted: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 1:36:26 PM

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26letters wrote:
I could never figure out whether the originator of this silly phrase meant that if you really love someone, you won't ask for an apology OR whether it meant if you really love someone you'll never do something that you'd have to apologize for.


IMO, this is what the quote means.
Geeman
Posted: Wednesday, June 16, 2010 5:53:15 PM

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It occurs to me that it would be nice if the line was "Love means never having to say you're sorry... twice about the same issue." In my experience, it doesn't actually mean that. But still. It'd be nice.
Joseph Glantz
Posted: Saturday, June 26, 2010 6:11:27 AM
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Saw the movie with Ali McGraw and Ryan O'Neal. A real tear jerker. OY!
Isaac Samuel
Posted: Saturday, June 26, 2010 10:09:54 AM
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"I am sorry, you are not sorry for hurting me"

If this statement keeps recurring in a relationship,there is no love
lost because there wasn't any, to begin with.
guest1000
Posted: Saturday, June 18, 2011 12:12:33 PM
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"Love means never having to say you"re sorry."

I have thought about this statement for many years and I have come to the conclusion that it is referring to the intentional or thoughtful actions and motions we go through when we truly love someone. Certainly, there are times when unexpected things happen or we make a mistake or an error in judgement and say, "Oh, I'm sorry", like when you accidentally step on someone's toe or buy the wrong brand of toilet paper from the store. But that is not what this statement is talking about.

When we are completely in love with someone, we desire more than anything else to see our lover happy and at peace with our relationship which is a reciprocal yet often unspoken understanding or agreement. We trust one another implicitly, without any fear of rejection or anticipation of unwarranted controversy. We are drawn together in every way, both physically, and emotionally. We would not consider doing anything that could possibly upset that relationship, or create unhappiness or mistrust. We become accepting of one another's frailties and inabilities and do everything in our power to support and promote our loved one and our common good. In every way, we become as one in purpose and desire. We share common goals for one another to grow and excel in those things which are most important to our partner, even putting aside our own personal desires at times for the sake of our partner or the union. At this level of love and commitment, we would never allow ourselves to do a thing which we might later find ourselves sorry to have done. We see the outcome and conclusion of our actions and choices far before we would ever act upon or implement them.

When love ceases to exist, so does the desire to act accordingly.

sisikou
Posted: Saturday, June 18, 2011 12:49:11 PM
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Welcome guest, well stated. Applause Applause Applause
I believe that's what the quote means.

Here are some sentences which I consider absolutely harmful in a relationship:
"I'm sorry."
"You're ugly."(for women)
"You're poor."(for men)
"I don't love you."
"I was drunk and have made a harmful mistake..."
jeans&sneakers
Posted: Sunday, June 19, 2011 6:55:44 PM

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guest1000 wrote:
When love ceases to exist, so does the desire to act accordingly.


I LOVE this one. Applause
Feeble Dragonfly
Posted: Monday, June 20, 2011 7:19:19 AM
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Joined: 2/10/2011
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To me this phrase doen't mean anything about being able to 'get away with not apologising'. that seems to trivialise the type of love I think is being referred to.

To me it means a combination of things - that love is an understanding so deep that you never need to explain yourself because your lover/family/friend understands you; that love means forgiveness and so there will always be forgiveness for you (this doesn't mean you won't apologise, it just means that you know that your lover/family/friend will forgive) - this to me seems to be linked to Christian belief, about Jesus' teachings on forgiveness from the Gospels; it means if you truly love someone then you accept them as they are, they have no need to apologise for themselves, it's a 'for better for worse' statement.

I don't feel the statement is aimed in the direction that a lot of posters seem to think, that of the person who has done something 'wrong', and does not want to apologise, or even that it means if you are in love you will never do anything 'wrong' I think it is a statement about how you can only love if you can forgive.

I think its more about how you deal with others' action, rather than those others' actions.

Bit of a rambling post there, but that's how the phrase speaks to me. I have never read or seen love story, however. And admittedly, I don't really like this phrase, when printed on t-shirts etc.
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