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Short sentence but seems a bit clumsy... Options
Elviss
Posted: Tuesday, January 13, 2015 2:01:03 PM
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Hi! Please help me to improve this sentence!

The colour of gold in the logotype serves as a symbol for the shining energy of love and reminds of the company’s traditions that reaches back more than 100 in the past.

Any mistakes? Any improvements necessary?

Thank you a lot!
Audiendus
Posted: Tuesday, January 13, 2015 3:05:59 PM
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The colour of gold in the logotype serves as a symbol for the shining energy of love and reminds us of [or recalls] the company’s traditions that reach back more than 100 years.
tunaafi
Posted: Tuesday, January 13, 2015 3:39:34 PM

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Elviss wrote:
The colour of gold in the logotype


As you were told in another forum, we generally use just 'logo' nowadays.
Crawdaddy
Posted: Tuesday, January 13, 2015 4:20:33 PM
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The colour of gold in the logo serves as a symbol for the shining energy of love. It reminds us of the company’s traditions that reach back more than 100 in the past.
IMcRout
Posted: Tuesday, January 13, 2015 4:27:21 PM
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I learned to use 'as a symbol of' in cases like this one.
I just wonder.
Briton
Posted: Tuesday, January 13, 2015 9:14:02 PM
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There is a very slight difference in meaning between the two, IMc, which is impossible for me to explain at 2am.

I would say either,

"...gold in the logo is a symbol of the shining energy..."

or
"...gold in the logo serves as a symbol for the shining energy..."

The sentence itself is a bit cumbersome and, personally, I would split it into two as Crawdaddy has done, or use the controversial Oxford comma after "energy of love".

Either way, I would say, "more than a hundred years" at the end, definitely.


IMcRout
Posted: Friday, January 16, 2015 2:55:11 PM
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Thank you, Briton.
Allana
Posted: Friday, January 16, 2015 3:41:59 PM

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Elviss wrote:
Hi! Please help me to improve this sentence!

The colour of gold in the logotype serves as a symbol for the shining energy of love and reminds of the company’s traditions that reaches back more than 100 in the past.

Any mistakes? Any improvements necessary?

Thank you a lot!


I have one small suggestion to add: by changing 'the colour of gold' to 'the gold colour' or 'the golden colour' would simplify the sentence slightly without changing the meaning. You might even be able to use just 'the gold' as the word colour is implied.
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