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You know you´re getting old when... Options
Ezequiel Castelhano
Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010 7:38:57 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/13/2010
Posts: 22
Neurons: 66
Location: Brazil
. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
. Your ears are hairier than your head.
. You have a party and the neighbors don´t even realize it.
. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
. You carry an umbrella.
. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
. Happy hour is a nap.
. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
kaleem
Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010 9:26:14 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/27/2009
Posts: 3,252
Neurons: 9,948
"No man is ever so old but he thinks he can live another year." - Cicero

Ellenrita
Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010 11:11:33 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/20/2010
Posts: 1,348
Neurons: 3,889
Location: CANADA - Toronto
You know your getting old when your doctors are teenagers.
Momsey
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 2:26:37 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/4/2009
Posts: 211
Neurons: 23,879
When you get down on the floor to pick something up and you wonder what else you can do while you are down there.
grammargeek
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 4:28:18 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/21/2009
Posts: 11,136
Neurons: 33,836
Location: Arizona, U.S.
Momsey wrote:
When you get down on the floor to pick something up and you wonder what else you can do while you are down there.


Applause I like your thinking, Momsey.
SpicyPepper
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 4:40:43 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/20/2010
Posts: 17
Neurons: 40
Location: India
You know you are getting old when you forget your age.
boneyfriend
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 6:13:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/3/2009
Posts: 2,625
Neurons: 10,546
Location: Columbia, South Carolina, United States
You know you are getting old when you are aware that the opposite sex is no longer stealing glances at you. What a bummer.
schrodinger's cat
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 8:30:44 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/12/2010
Posts: 639
Neurons: 1,977
Location: Slovenia
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Mark Twain

There are 100 year-olds running marathons or doing Kung Fu. The way you treat your body when you are young, your body will treat you when you are old.

And I think it is about time for some radical changesThink .
Vickster
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 8:42:09 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/19/2010
Posts: 2,404
Neurons: 7,211
Location: Massachusetts, United States
geez... sound like I'm getting old... I fit into a lot of these..... lol
MarySM
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 8:55:35 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/22/2009
Posts: 1,627
Neurons: 6,084
EzequielApplause Applause

I'm getting older because I have met so many people that everyone I meet reminds me of someone else.
SunDevil
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 9:39:29 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/13/2010
Posts: 89
Neurons: 262
Location: United States
Two things happen when you get older. First, your memory goes and I can't remember the other.
martyg
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 4:42:25 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 327
Neurons: 2,386
you put your food in the icebox. or is that too old.

well then, maybe you remember when the milkman delivered your milk.
Christine
Posted: Saturday, March 20, 2010 10:14:54 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
What's the question?
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Sunday, March 21, 2010 6:05:21 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,967
Neurons: 101,926
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
You know you're getting old when you find almost anything people twenty years younger do, objectionable....
"You know how old i am? Well when i was young, they were calling it the Dying Sea."
Tovarish
Posted: Sunday, March 21, 2010 6:25:44 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 11,101
Neurons: 39,933
Location: Booligal, New South Wales, Australia
You have a wireless instead of a radio
You go to the pictures instead of the cinema
my Dad said looking glass instead of mirror
yes, ice box instead of freezer or deep freeze
probably many more, but I have forgotten.
oxymoron
Posted: Sunday, March 21, 2010 10:06:57 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/15/2010
Posts: 940
Neurons: 845
Location: Bungalow, usually in garden/greenhouse
Wisdom of the agesPray









Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'





- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)







<><>





I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'



- Eleanor Roosevelt



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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

- Mark Twain





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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns





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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge





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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain





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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates





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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx





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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante





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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor



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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine





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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield





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Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

- Spike Milligan





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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath





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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope





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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields



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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers



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Don't worry about avoiding temptation As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill



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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.





- Phyllis Diller



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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.





- Billy Crystal Boo hoo!




Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Sunday, March 21, 2010 4:26:58 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 45,910
Neurons: 654,810
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
When I was called to do my duty year in the Army they gave us maces.
Netts
Posted: Tuesday, June 1, 2010 11:51:22 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/24/2010
Posts: 241
Neurons: 688
Location: Alice Springs, Australia
you get up at the time you used to go to bed
pedro
Posted: Wednesday, June 2, 2010 10:28:41 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/21/2009
Posts: 13,057
Neurons: 63,022
You're getting old when you have more dead friends than living ones or have I said that before? Think I'll have to drop something on the floor to jog my memory.
islanddreamer
Posted: Monday, June 7, 2010 10:42:51 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/19/2010
Posts: 869
Neurons: 2,149
Location: My Imagination
You know you're getting old when you visit to an antiques shop and all your old toys are there!
Tovarish
Posted: Monday, June 7, 2010 11:50:20 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 11,101
Neurons: 39,933
Location: Booligal, New South Wales, Australia
islanddreamer, that's so funny because I saw my hand held beater I was given at my Kitchen Tea, in an Antique Shop. ha ha

When you call Police men, Dear!
Ellenrita
Posted: Tuesday, June 8, 2010 9:35:53 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/20/2010
Posts: 1,348
Neurons: 3,889
Location: CANADA - Toronto
You know your old when your first love emails you and it has been more than fifty years since.
sky7even
Posted: Saturday, June 12, 2010 8:32:08 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/29/2010
Posts: 134
Neurons: 374
Location: Philippines
I agree Ellenrita, lols. I was thinking to write just similar to this until I read your post :). Because I remember cleaning my stuff one time and get to read again the letters from my close friends way back during high school and college. I felt like I'm getting old fast.

You know you're getting old when the songs of your time are played on backtracks/classics portion of the radio/music channels.
Ellenrita
Posted: Sunday, June 13, 2010 5:38:01 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/20/2010
Posts: 1,348
Neurons: 3,889
Location: CANADA - Toronto
You know your old when the fortune teller asks to read your face, not your palm.
Nithard
Posted: Saturday, June 19, 2010 12:45:10 AM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 6/15/2010
Posts: 3
Neurons: 9
Location: Canada
You know your getting old when time weighs you down.
Babezy
Posted: Saturday, June 19, 2010 1:08:39 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/16/2009
Posts: 926
Neurons: 2,806
Location: United States
When you realize your freckles have become age spots.
Ellenrita
Posted: Saturday, June 19, 2010 4:08:28 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/20/2010
Posts: 1,348
Neurons: 3,889
Location: CANADA - Toronto
Babezy wrote:
When you realize your freckles have become age spots.


So True!!
srirr
Posted: Monday, June 21, 2010 2:37:09 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 8,507
Neurons: 484,353
You know you are getitng old when you need viagra to make sure you do not pee on your slippers.
nomadwa
Posted: Tuesday, July 6, 2010 5:50:45 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/16/2009
Posts: 87
Neurons: 263
You know you're getting old when you find yourself quoting the MOTHER of JIMMY "GEEZER" CARTER in the middle of an online game.
TYSON
Posted: Tuesday, July 6, 2010 6:05:02 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,258
Neurons: 3,793
Location: Melbourne, Australia
...WHEN YOU REFER TO THOSE DVD MOVIE HIRE PLACES AS "VIDEO LIBRARIES".
TYSON
Posted: Tuesday, July 6, 2010 6:05:42 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/7/2009
Posts: 1,258
Neurons: 3,793
Location: Melbourne, Australia
...WHEN THE MUSIC IS TOO LOUD.
Atiya
Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 7:08:26 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 2,034
Neurons: 6,093
Location: India
..when you and your teeth don't sleep together :)


boneyfriend
Posted: Thursday, June 23, 2011 5:43:32 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/3/2009
Posts: 2,625
Neurons: 10,546
Location: Columbia, South Carolina, United States
...when you go to the gynocologist and the waiting room is full of pregnant women and Parents Magazine and it irritates you.
blue2
Posted: Thursday, June 23, 2011 5:47:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/25/2010
Posts: 2,552
Neurons: 23,044
Location: Préveza, Epirus, Greece
I feel your pain.
IMcRout
Posted: Thursday, June 23, 2011 6:32:08 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,380
Neurons: 563,379
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
I remember the exact moment I began to feel old.
I had got a job at a new school and the English reader used for the graduating class had a picture of the 1970 Isle of Wight Festival on its inside covers.

And that was only ten years after - yep, I think they were there, too, but I don't remember - I had been there!!!!

Coincidentally (cf. the thread at 'word of the day') my hair began to turn gray that year.
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