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A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. Options
Daemon
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 12:00:00 AM
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A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)
Vit Babenco
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 12:47:14 AM

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Somerset Maugham had a fine sense of humour.
Madas
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 1:19:09 AM

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Not bothered with sex at his home, I presume. Just like royals throughout history. Make a heir to the throne, and you are free. Men and women, as well. Fine by me.
Bully_rus
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 1:46:29 AM
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Homeless with sex or homeowner without sex - what an odd choice they have! I dare to say that man back then don't understand that woman needs sex and all that sort of thing too. And nobody bothered to ask them such mannish things openly... It happened much later. Am I right, sweetie?
Marta Grzesińska
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 4:21:11 AM

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Bully_rus wrote:
Homeless with sex or homeowner without sex - what an odd choice they have! I dare to say that man back then don't understand that woman needs sex and all that sort of thing too. And nobody bothered to ask them such mannish things openly... It happened much later. Am I right, sweetie?


I don't think so. He died in 1965 - quite near the great sexual revolution, ain't it? I daresay it didn't changed at all - there's still plenty of men who think only their needs are of any meaning. Besides it wasn't that bad to be a woman in 19th century, not always. Quite a popular opinion - up to 20th century women were slaves - but untrue i think.
Robert Imgrat
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 4:38:35 AM

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Madas wrote:
Not bothered with sex at his home, I presume. Just like royals throughout history. Make a heir to the throne, and you are free. Men and women, as well. Fine by me.


I hope if you were royal had been better
Ozolinsh V.
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 4:56:46 AM

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Makes no sense to me
Bully_rus
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 5:33:35 AM
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to Marta Grzesińska

According to some sources, William Somerset Maugham not only witness the Great Sexual Revolution, but also turn its millstones... Warm welcome, Marta.
Akram Jameel
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 8:19:00 AM

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can someone help me to explain more deeply?
Boo hoo! .
Akram Jameel
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 8:41:49 AM

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can someone help me to explain more deeply?
Boo hoo! .
JUSTIN Excellence
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 9:07:48 AM

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Marriage is how sexuality and relationship serve us altogether to work out our fear and issues to seek absolution in each other's arms...

Wasalam Akram





Omar F.
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 10:07:32 AM

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I’m surprised how many people took the phrase literately! The sarcasm of Maugham can’t be explained: it’s either you get it or not. Brick wall
striker
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 11:53:33 AM
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how insightful
GabhSigenod
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 12:05:28 PM

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Daemon wrote:
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)


I must be missing something in life. All what sort of thing?
Gary98
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 12:30:42 PM

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here is the context from his play, The Circus, second act:
Elizabeth. I’m quite willing to allow that the fault is mine. But how does that make it any better? I’m only twenty-five. If I’ve made a mistake I have time to correct it.

Arnold. I can’t bring myself to take you very seriously.

Elizabeth. You see, I don’t love you.

Arnold. Well, I’m awfully sorry. But you weren’t obliged to marry me. You’ve made your bed and I’m afraid you must lie on it.

Elizabeth. That’s one of the falsest proverbs in the English language. Why should you lie on the bed you’ve made if you don’t want to? There’s always the floor.

Arnold. For goodness’ sake don’t be funny, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth. I’ve quite made up my mind to leave you, Arnold.

Arnold. Come, come, Elizabeth, you must be sensible. You haven’t any reason to leave me.

Elizabeth. Why should you wish to keep a woman tied to you who wants to be free?

Arnold. I happen to be in love with you.

Elizabeth. You might have said that before.

Arnold. I thought you’d take it for granted. You can’t expect a man to go on making love to his wife after three years. I’m very busy. I’m awfully keen on politics and I’ve worked like a dog to make this house a thing of beauty. After all, a man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you and I’ve been in love ever since.

Elizabeth. I’m sorry, but if you’re not in love with a man his love doesn’t mean very much to you.

Arnold. It’s so ungrateful. I’ve done everything in the world for you.

Elizabeth. You’ve been very kind to me. But you’ve asked me to lead a life I don’t like and that I’m not suited for. I’m awfully sorry to cause you pain, but now you must let me go.

Arnold. Nonsense! I’m a good deal older than you are and I think I have a little more sense. In your interests as well as in mine I’m not going to do anything of the sort.

Elizabeth. [With a smile.] How can you prevent me? You can’t keep me under lock and key.

Arnold. Please don’t talk to me as if I were a foolish child. You’re my wife and you’re going to remain my wife.
Marta Grzesińska
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 12:46:57 PM

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to Bully_rus

Did a little research and you're right about the milestones. I think I'm going to read some of his books, all this revolution bussines made me curious. Thanks for greetings it's nice to be here.
Milica Boghunovich
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 2:27:01 PM
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A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

"...doesn't want to be bothered with sex.." may not be sarcastic, but straightforward that a mentally and sexually normal and healthy man does not have to bother to look for sex which places him at many risks of STDs -that sort of thing, or he does not want to be feminists' sexual puppet, or having to have sex with somebody he doesn't love, or even something else...
The same, whether some would not like to admit it, applies to a mentally and sexually normal and healthy woman.
Think
Verbatim
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 4:28:56 PM
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Daemon wrote:
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)



"A man marries to have a home"...

A character from A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens, put it this way:

""Yes, Sidney, I have had enough of this style of life, with no other as a change from it; I feel that it is a pleasant thing for a man
to have a home when he feels inclined to go to it (when he doesn't, he can stay away)
,..."" From Barnes and Noble Classics, A Tale of Two Cities
by Charles Dickens, with thanks for the enjoyment of the book and recommendation to others.

I wonder if Maugham remembered the passage when he had his character utter his similar desire. Interesting that one was prior, the other a few years after marriage.Think
Fredric-frank Myers
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 4:33:01 PM

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This could be true for many men, but not for me...... :-)
MANJUICEBUBBLES
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 5:51:07 PM

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Omar F. wrote:
I’m surprised how many people took the phrase literately! The sarcasm of Maugham can’t be explained: it’s either you get it or not. Brick wall


Indeed.
andrinomarkus
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 6:47:30 PM

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When I read this quote and immediately thought the why woman marry..
TB Turtle
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 6:48:55 PM

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I so enjoy reading the threads on this site. Especially, the global thoughts and feelings. Its really quite an experience and this topic is a great example of variety.
Verbatim
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 7:13:34 PM
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Omar F. wrote:
I’m surprised how many people took the phrase literately! The sarcasm of Maugham can’t be explained: it’s either you get it or not. Brick wall



One way to take the quotation is literally, to speak to what it means to one and sundry. How did you take it, Maugham's sarcasm that is?

And welcome to the forum here, Omar.
johnfl
Posted: Sunday, October 12, 2014 7:40:26 PM

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HOW LONG HAS VIAGRA BEEN AROUND?
Давид Чапел
Posted: Wednesday, November 5, 2014 11:18:51 AM

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Milica Boghunovich wrote:
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1965)

"...doesn't want to be bothered with sex.." may not be sarcastic, but straightforward that a mentally and sexually normal and healthy man does not have to bother to look for sex which places him at many risks of STDs -that sort of thing, or he does not want to be feminists' sexual puppet, or having to have sex with somebody he doesn't love, or even something else...
The same, whether some would not like to admit it, applies to a mentally and sexually normal and healthy woman.
Think


Gary98 quotes the context elsewhere in this thread. It is from a discussion between husband and wife about why he never tells her that he loves her. He replies "you cannot expect a man to go on making love to his wife after three years". In 1921 "to make love" to a woman meant to work to convince her that you loved her. (Since some time in the 1960's it means to bed her.) And when he says he "doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing" he is using the word "sex" in a very general 1920's sense. He is refering to all the behaviors in which we engage because we are sexually reproducing creatures. When he adds "all that sort of thing" to the word "sex" he is making it clear that he is refering to a broad set of behaviors which he does not have time for.

So in 21st century language the quote probably means something like this:

A man marries to have a home, but also because he is tired of working for the attention of women.

So, the husband here is probably not saying that he doesn't want to 'have sex' with his wife. He is saying that he sees no need to express his love for her in any other way such as by telling her that he loves her.



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