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When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored... Options
Daemon
Posted: Thursday, August 7, 2014 12:00:00 AM
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When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Trivium_Discipulus
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 12:21:21 AM
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Daemon wrote:
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


This quote would appear to cast women in a bad light. Life is more complicated than a simple rule that is wrong more often than it is right.

Did he really think men adore wives who despise them? There has to be more nuance in context.
cr0cus
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 12:52:53 AM

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Looking at Mr Wilde’s simple bio, it seems that he’s witty and comic. But broken marriages are no laughing matter. Most kids who hurt other people (like those who go on shooting sprees) come from broken families. Thess innocent kids find themselves depressed and hopeless, turning to any available opportunity to fill the void that was created by the loss of a loving couple.
fby_humz
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 1:09:45 AM

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Oscar Wilde must have been talking about ONLY and ONLY his marriage life. I can't even say this in general both to men or women.

If he's talking about remarrying after a marriage failure, then I would rather say both the man and woman must have found their partner who is more compatible to them.

And if he's talking about a widow/widower remarrying then can it be because of FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN OR COMPANIONSHIP at least and not because of any comparison from their previous partners? Think Think Think
Professor
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 1:41:10 AM

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cr0cus wrote:
Looking at Mr Wilde’s simple bio, it seems that he’s witty and comic. But broken marriages are no laughing matter. Most kids who hurt other people (like those who go on shooting sprees) come from broken families. Thess innocent kids find themselves depressed and hopeless, turning to any available opportunity to fill the void that was created by the loss of a loving couple.




cr0cus, Your personal quote tag line reminds me of an old Chinese saying that goes like this. "If the son does not turn out to be better than the son, then they both have failed." It is a good expressions and keeps us progressing as society.
Alenka
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 2:33:11 AM
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cr0cus wrote:
Looking at Mr Wilde’s simple bio, it seems that he’s witty and comic. But broken marriages are no laughing matter. Most kids who hurt other people (like those who go on shooting sprees) come from broken families. Thess innocent kids find themselves depressed and hopeless, turning to any available opportunity to fill the void that was created by the loss of a loving couple.


I've got the same impression...
Alenka
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 2:41:26 AM
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Daemon wrote:
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


I don't know why he said that. It's neither funny nor wise. It's rather stereotyped.
Alexander Lo
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 2:58:44 AM

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This guy had bias against weman.
MechPebbles
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 3:02:01 AM

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Makes no sense at all to me.
Vladtofeed
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 4:48:42 AM
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Daemon wrote:
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


This is bullshit.
AndersonBR
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 5:06:10 AM

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I disagree. Everybody has the freedom to do whatever they want to.
walirlan
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 5:08:50 AM

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It's some kind of pattern. He is right. It's not a rule but it happens quite often.
Bully_rus
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 5:09:31 AM
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Daemon wrote:
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


Certainly, a family didn't mean much to Wilde... And as for second marriages, I don't think that its numbers back then were close enough for any generalization.
monamagda
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 6:54:25 AM

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The quote in context :

From his famous work "Picture of Dorian Gray", Chapter 15.
Is Lord Henry who says the quote to Lady Narborough, the hostess during a party and the party-goers talk wittily about marriage:

"The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes," said Lord Henry, sipping his wine.

Lady Narborough hit him with her fan. "Lord Henry, I am not at all surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked."

"But what world says that?" asked Lord Henry, elevating his eyebrows. "It can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent terms."

"Everybody I know says you are very wicked," cried the old lady, shaking her head.

Lord Henry looked serious for some moments. "It is perfectly monstrous," he said, at last, "the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true."

"Isn't he incorrigible?" cried Dorian, leaning forward in his chair.

"I hope so," said his hostess, laughing. "But really, if you all worship Madame de Ferrol in this ridiculous way, I shall have to marry again so as to be in the fashion."

"You will never marry again, Lady Narborough," broke in Lord Henry. "You were far too happy. When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs."


"Narborough wasn't perfect," cried the old lady.

"If he had been, you would not have loved him, my dear lady," was the rejoinder. "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our intellects. You will never ask me to dinner again after saying this, I am afraid, Lady Narborough, but it is quite true."

"Of course it is true, Lord Henry. If we women did not love you for your defects, where would you all be? Not one of you would ever be married. You would be a set of unfortunate bachelors. Not, however, that that would alter you much. Nowadays all the married men live like bachelors, and all the bachelors like married men."

"Fin de siecle," murmured Lord Henry.

"Fin du globe," answered his hostess.

"I wish it were fin du globe," said Dorian with a sigh. "Life is a great disappointment."

Read the book here: http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/owilde/bl-owilde-pic-15.htm
JUSTIN Excellence
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 8:43:11 AM

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Relationship is understanding.

It is a process of self-revelation.

I mean it without reservation.

That I would give my life for you is not a deception.

monamagda wrote:
"I could eat you up"

The same reason we refer to our lovers and darlings as sweetie/honey/sugar/etc. Since eating is pleasurable and the eating of delicious foods even more pleasurable. You also cover the one you love with kisses and/or bites,licks.

In deep sense,It is taking the essence of the thing and making it part of you. If you were to actually eat the cute baby then parts of the baby would become parts of you. If you actually ate your lover/child, then you would be joined in the most complete way possible.


Justin
Milica Boghunovich
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 9:26:54 AM
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Oscar Wilde was an extraordinarily witty and wise man/playwright, and therefore may have a good reason to state these reasons for another marriage after the first marriage, etc. The second statement opens up the possibility for various interpretations of what "love" is to a male, and what "love" is to a woman. Is O.W. telling us that some females and males do not value love, but just carnal manifestations of it? Sexual licentiousness is a reason that certain types of females and males destroy love, trust, integrity, and wholeness and holiness of loyal love between two adults.

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."
Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895, Act I
John J. Gerhardt
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 9:38:54 AM
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Very good and true.
GreenBanana
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 10:04:42 AM

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And when a man marries a second man, Oscar?
Lunieb
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 10:16:51 AM

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Disagree. His reason for women could also be applied to men"s taking second spouses.
Pooja Doshi
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 11:04:55 AM
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Silenced
Daemon wrote:
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


I would not agree to this Quote. It looks like it is said only from seeing one side of the story.I think we should place ourselves in one's shoes before dicussing any moves they make in life.Shame on you Shame on you Shame on you Silenced Silenced Brick wall Brick wall Shame on you Shame on you
Gary98
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 11:44:53 AM

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I guess this another way to say man doesn't think much when a woman is involved.
d_marx
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 12:43:26 PM

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I suppose it could just be his humor, because it's always questioned and dry. ^_^
nkelsey
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 2:21:27 PM
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Applause
monamagda
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 2:40:44 PM

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JUSTIN Excellence wrote:
Relationship is understanding.

It is a process of self-revelation.

I mean it without reservation.

That I would give my life for you is not a deception.

monamagda wrote:
"I could eat you up"

The same reason we refer to our lovers and darlings as sweetie/honey/sugar/etc. Since eating is pleasurable and the eating of delicious foods even more pleasurable. You also cover the one you love with kisses and/or bites,licks.

In deep sense,It is taking the essence of the thing and making it part of you. If you were to actually eat the cute baby then parts of the baby would become parts of you. If you actually ate your lover/child, then you would be joined in the most complete way possible.


Justin
Verbatim
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 3:00:17 PM
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Daemon wrote:
When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)


On the generality of it, if a woman marries again because she detested her first husband --after having had the bad experience--is rather a sign of
keeping an open mind, willing to take another chance.

Conversely, if a man marries again because he adored his first wife could mean that men are more complacent, trusting that their luck will hold.
simon ko
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 3:12:49 PM

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really
NeuroticHellFem
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 4:09:39 PM

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Has everyone actually READ the bio or just the quote? Oscar Wilde was homosexual!
Joy Frohlich
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 4:49:13 PM
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Quite right, Oscar Wilde was homosexual. I am sure he never meant the quote to be taken seriously. It is just an example of his humourous writing and Monamagda has given us the context. It comes from "The Picture of Dorian Gray".
monamagda
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 8:00:08 PM

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You get it!!Applause


Joy Frohlich wrote:
Quite right, Oscar Wilde was homosexual. I am sure he never meant the quote to be taken seriously. It is just an example of his humourous writing and Monamagda has given us the context. It comes from "The Picture of Dorian Gray".
Vicki Holzknecht
Posted: Friday, August 8, 2014 11:31:12 PM

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Do you really get over your first if you marry again?
Siamak
Posted: Saturday, August 9, 2014 6:36:20 AM

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Oscar's words are a clever skit of relationship between men and women.
Verbatim
Posted: Saturday, August 9, 2014 6:48:56 PM
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The words spoken by Lord Henry in this quotation from Oscar Wilde's novel "The Picture of Dorian Gray" are one way the author defines his character:
A witty aristocrat rotten to the core-- married and not a homosexual, though his wife will eventually divorce him for his debauchery and ill treatment of her.

The novel is a gruesome tale of decadence and what lies in wait: the price Dorian and a few characters in the novel must pay. It satirized, not just humored,
and perhaps even pitied and scorned all at the same time, the way of life during the latter part of the Victorian era in England.

Oscar Wilde himself lived such a life, tasted it fully, and paid for it dearly in the end. He published this, his only novel among many plays, in 1891--the same year he
got involved with the young man whose father accused Wilde of homosexuality.
Ravindra
Posted: Friday, August 15, 2014 12:53:51 AM
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Wow! I love this. While I marry Oscar Wild's first part of the quote, I divorce his second statement, i.e. ".... When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife." This is utter nonsense. If a man adores his wife, he shall never sport the idea of remarrying, regardless of the situation, i.e. whether she lives or ........ This is nothing short of an irony. Or, the 'adore' must be replaced with 'abhor'. And the last note, "Women try their luck; men risk theirs." knows no gender.

“Oscar Wilde said that sunsets were not valued because we could not pay for sunsets. But Oscar Wilde was wrong; we can pay for sunsets. We can pay for them by not being Oscar Wilde.”
― G.K. Chesterton
Verbatim
Posted: Saturday, August 16, 2014 4:48:32 PM
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So, according to Oscar Wilde when they marry again "women try their luck; men risk theirs." Either way, a gamble.

But those in transit, still in between, may be pushing their luck.Think
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