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What three elements are necessary for a successful relationship? Options
Gwen
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 6:38:27 PM
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For my English II class, I need to answer this question: "What three elements are necessary for a successful relationship?" Can any of y'all help me on this as I'm only a sophmore in High School and dont have much expertise in this area?

Thanks,
Gwen
Richard
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:06:40 PM
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Love, trust and liquor.
marcus_aurelius
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:09:10 PM
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Depends on which kind of relationship we are talking about.


3 elements that would be very useful for example:

1. Power.
2. Money.
3. Glory.
nooblet
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:22:05 PM
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I agree with Marcus that it very much depends on what kind of relationship. However, if you are talking about a romantic relationship, I would say that the three elements are:

1. Love
2. Trust
3. Cooperation

However, I think that the point of the essay is to prompt you into looking for what you think should be important in a relationship. No three elements are necessarily right or wrong, provided you can substantiate your claims with well worded arguments.
uuaschbaer
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:30:13 PM

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Friendship, lust and butterflies for a relationship with a significant other. Or long-term love, short-term love and sexual attraction in other words.
Romany
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:48:07 PM
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Yes, I agree that there are many ways to look at this: depending on the relationship. Your youth or lack of experience in long-term relationships are unimportant. I would imagine the excercise is set to prod you all to expressing your own thoughts.

The relationship between parents and kids, an owner and their dog, a High School student and Society, Teacher and Pupils, Siblings, ...these are all things you are highly qualified to speak about. Then, perhaps, if you see a basic thread running through all of these you could wonder about whether that particular thing wasn't a necessary element in all relationships.

There's lots of ways you could go with this essay and, as its your opinion thats asked for, none of the way you choose can possibly be wrong.

btw. One thing no-one has mentioned and which I consider one of the most important elements to any relationship ? Laughter. Whether its a joke cracked with a shopkeeper, a comment in class that amuses the teacher, a way to coax someone out of a bad mood - or just a way to introduce joy to the world, laughter is, to me, an indivisible part of all my relationships. (And don't tell me you've never seen a dog laugh! They really do!)
nooblet
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:02:10 PM
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A good point, Romany. Being able to make people feel good in any form is important to keeping them happy. I was thinking of my own list, and I couldn't really come up with one word to encompass all of what I think the third element should be.

A few words that come to mind now are communication, compromise, and being able to make your partner happy, in addition to cooperation. The reason I chose cooperation originally is because a relationship will not succeed if its members are constantly fighting one another, they need to work together to foster growth of the relationship. Communication is naturally the first step in being able to cooperate. Compromise is usually necessary to smooth out some issues that the relationships' members do not see eye-to-eye on. And if you are not happy in a relationship, why should you stay in it? Maybe a better word to choose would be "harmony," that seems to encompass what I feel the third element of a relationship should be much better than "cooperation."
JayJay
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:05:04 PM
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If you mean a relationship such as long-term marriage, then I am not sure if you can narrow it down to 3 elements. I think there are obvious factors such as common interests,loyalty,and commitment. But, I think there are a multitude of other elements that in any number of combinations can make a difference in a successful marriage. Marriage is hard work especially if you have children.The Laziness of one partner is probably one of the biggest marriage killers. Thoughtfulness goes a long way because it shows your partner that you really care about them. The little things you without being asked go a long way. Also, it helps to keep a positive attitude even in a time of difficulty. A partner who is consistently negative is not only unproductive but also annoying to listen to. I could continue with other examples, but I am not certain if this is the info you are looking for, maybe you could be more specific with your question?
Raparee
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:28:16 PM

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Is it bad that I immediately thought that oxygen would be rather handy? ;)
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:29:28 PM

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CCC
Command
Control
Co-operation
???
Christine
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:33:33 PM
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empathize
positive attitude
funny bone
Nibbles
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:42:20 PM
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Trust, Love, and mutual Respect. The rest of it comes afterwards, almost naturally. It may take years to build trust, and a lot of time and effort, the slightest bit of doubt will bring it all down into a swirlling cesspool of chaos.

I admit, I'm certainly no expert in relationships, having been isolated and alone for nearly six years now, and living most my life alone for various reasons. However, in observing people in long term healthy relationships, and after speaking with them in depth, I have found they all shared Trust, Love and mutual Respect. If a relationship lacks the above qualities it is almost certain to fail.


As for short term relationships, again, by observation, most of them are centered around Money, Sex and libations of quesionable character. They don't last long once the 'liquor runs out', the money goes away, or the sex becomes monotonous and borish. One thing leads to another so they say.




Epiphileon
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 8:50:39 PM

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Raparee wrote:
Is it bad that I immediately thought that oxygen would be rather handy? ;)

Not at all, however the couples known to have the least arguments, and never have a hostile word for each other, are buried next to each other.
Srividhya
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 11:10:19 PM
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Trust
Sharing
Mutual respect

not necessarily in that order
26letters
Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2010 11:58:51 PM
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Love
Loyalty
Forgiveness

(and a sense of humor goes a long way)
This works in all relationships - whether it's best friends, marriage mates, family, etc.

Bear in mind that there are many married couples who remain best friends long past the time when physical attraction is no longer a prominent factor.
kay pirinya
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 4:16:22 AM
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Respect
Love
Empathy
&
Humor Applause
kamalraj
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 4:36:56 AM
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kay pirinya wrote:
Respect
Love
Empathy
&
Humor Applause

what is this
pedro
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 6:19:49 AM
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Gwen wrote:
For my English II class, I need to answer this question: "What three elements are necessary for a successful relationship?" Can any of y'all help me on this as I'm only a sophmore in High School and dont have much expertise in this area?

Thanks,
Gwen


You might think of changing the angle of the essay by asking 'what is a successful relationship?' Some stormy relationships can generate a lot of passion and not a few children but still end in acrimony. Must you call such unsuccessful? Perhaps the questioner wants you to find elements common to all relationships be they to your boss, your teacher, your children and your friends. In that case, of the many good suggestions made, respect and empathy probably apply to all, not sure that you should love your boss though. He might not have a sense of humour either. Forgiveness looks good though it would probably dent the 'respect' or 'loyalty' suggestion if ever it were required. So I'd opt for Respect, Empathy and..... you'll have to find a third!
Tovarish
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 6:41:00 AM
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It changes over the years but,
Best friends
True love
Happy bed
& a short memory doesn't hurt
Kat
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 8:46:55 AM
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I've been married for thirty years and I'd have to say:

Humor...Have a good sense of it
Mystery...Never show all your cards
Healthy Income...Stay busy, though it's nice to have a "rock", ultimately you're on your own.
Serap Aslan
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 8:47:59 AM
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*Love
*Respect
*Tolerance
Galad
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 8:53:35 AM

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Funny no one mentioned Children!

A good bartender goes a long way too!
Serap Aslan
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 9:05:55 AM
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This is my first post here :) Greetings to all.
If we have just 3 words to say, *Love*Respect*Tolerance are my key words for a successful relationship. I believe, other concepts are within them. Maybe not Love but Respect and Tolerance is needed in every instant of life.

Sorry about my English, if any wrong usage, please inform me.
Barbara
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 9:28:37 AM
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Too simple,you need only one thing: esteem .

Result: equitable relationship,respect,comprimise,trust,contributing in your partner's growth,attraction.

The perfect couple
JPK
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 12:57:27 PM
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marcus_aurelius wrote:
Depends on which kind of relationship we are talking about.


3 elements that would be very useful for example:

1. Power.
2. Money.
3. Glory.


You bring a good point when you say that it depends on the kind of relationship. However, I try to run as far away as possible to any relationship based on the 3 elements you named...

Some very good answers in this thread... and the "liquor" answer made me laugh!
nxt_annawintour
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 2:37:07 PM
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1.) Trust
2.) Respect
3.) Understanding

I've come to find that this is what I generally look for in someone else. All of these combined should just naturally lead to love : )
nooblet
Posted: Wednesday, January 6, 2010 3:03:50 PM
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There have been some really good suggestions in here so far. I may want to reselect my own with all the ideas flying around. I particularly like the ideas of respect and empathy/understanding, which I do believe are important in pretty much all healthy relationships. This is in addition to trust, which I had already chosen as one of my own.
driven
Posted: Thursday, January 7, 2010 12:41:11 PM
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Selfishness is guaranteed to damage any relationship.
driven
Posted: Thursday, January 7, 2010 1:14:33 PM
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More detail. When someone enters a relationship with the main idea "What can I get out of this" there will be problems. When those involved have the viewpoint "What can I bring to this relationship and add to the happiness of the other" there usually will be a good relationship. Many men in this area feel that the wife's job is to clean house, cook, wash clothes and wait on him hand and foot while he pursues every type of recreation. Then they complain that "the wife" (old lady) (washer woman) isn't attractive or exciting anymore.

So:
Kindness
Cooperation (sharing)
Generosity
Serap Aslan
Posted: Friday, January 8, 2010 6:29:10 AM
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Dalai Lama says: Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
man in black
Posted: Friday, January 8, 2010 8:36:36 AM
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Love, good sex and wits.
Gwen
Posted: Sunday, January 10, 2010 9:41:33 PM
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Thanks y'all for your responses.
man in black
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2010 11:01:49 AM
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The ability to ward off boredom and have something under one´s sleeve to avoid monotony
Yorker
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2010 7:16:28 PM
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I'm also no expert on relationships, but here are my thoughts on building a successful relationship.

Honesty: No secrets, this is incredibly important, if you have no trust, then respect falls away and the relationship has no foundations left to build on.

Friendship: Very important to have regular displays of affection e.g. hugging, kissing, fun, spontaneity and passion and not necessary sexual, just enthusiasm for one another.

Sense of Humour: Laughter acts as a much needed, temporary respite from the pressures of life. It's a safe and effective way to release pent-up physical and emotional tension. Maybe this one should come at the top of my list.
ninestraycats
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2010 7:20:31 PM
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Never under-estimate the importance of good sex.
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