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abcxyz
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 5:15:45 PM
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Location: India
I cannot think about my school without thinking about the bullies I met there. I have been bullied at school until I left. It started from my first day. A gang of girls walked up to me and one of them asked for a pen. I gave her one, and she said 'look it's my pen! She stole it from me.' For a moment I was too shocked to speak. Those girls kept accusing and threatening me and I kept denying, while a crowd of girls was collecting around my desk. I was very thin and I had a weak voice, which was easily subdued by the powerful voices of those girls. So I thought better of it and went silent. When they saw I wasn't talking any more, the one who had asked for the pen said she was kidding, and I didn't really steal anything. The others thought it was a good joke and went back to their desks. Not a word of apology or protest came from anyone in the class. Since then I hate being around gangs which has now become a severe phobia. Sometimes people's idea of a joke is extremely cruel, and the level of cruelty increases with the number of members in the gang.
What do you think about bullies and how do you think students and teachers should deal with them?
Christine
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 5:37:58 PM
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Bullies are means and despicable. I am sorry that you had to go through that. Teachers and principals should have 0 tolerance rules.
TYSON
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 5:56:39 PM
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Ive had my bully problems at school too. On one occassion, I almost lost my testicles. I'm not sure what can be done, but I know what I'd like to do.
wercozy
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 5:59:17 PM
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What goes around comes around. It may take a long time, but eventually someone stops them, or they grow up.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 6:06:02 PM
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I despise bullies too. I have been a victim of it too. I am usually quiet and I am not very sociable either. I tend to keep to myself mostly. But throughout school life and even in college, I have been bullied. My health failed a few times before critical exams and that had left my curriculum vitae scathed. Because of which I always used to remain a bit dejected and lost. I interacted with others very little, and I avoided contact. Yet, I don't understand why some people take all that trouble of bullying someone who isn't even responding. And some of the ragging can really hurt, as they are often about physical appearances and other things that one has little control of. They teased me regularly about my health, since I had to start wearing warm clothes before others did every year during winter. And I also used to take a lot of medicines which either made me plump or triggered hair loss. I was teased over and over again for many years, even though I had done no harm to any of them. In fact, I have faced such rudeness from outsiders also. I don't know what fun people can derive from ridiculing or belittling others. It is a form of cheap thrill commonly derived from sadistic practices.
And it is a fact that schools and colleges, in India at least, do absolutely NOTHING to stop ragging. Only a handful of instances can be mentioned where such offenders have been punished, even though almost every other student in a country of billions is facing bullying everyday. And that even as innumerable cases of suicides or attempts at suicides are being reported countrywide, to which victims of bullying are driven. the following is the link to an incident where a victim of brutal ragging killed himself on his second attempt.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/kolkata/Ragged-student-commits-suicide-on-second-attempt/Article1-463264.aspx
abcxyz
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 6:09:08 PM
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wercozy wrote:
What goes around comes around. It may take a long time, but eventually someone stops them, or they grow up.

No, wercozy, not always.
gatodepatasblancas
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 6:42:55 PM
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Location: Mexico
Everybody want to know a secret?

Bullies, deep inside, feel they are tiny, small creatures, and they are absolutly insecure.

They hate to feel that way, and need to believe they are strong and powerfull.

But they can't get that measuring themselves against strong and powerfull people, but their psycological need drive them to make something. They gather in packs like wolves. And then they bully people that seems weak or defenseless, and they need to have witnesses, that way they can crow how big and powerfull they are.

In fact, bullies are pitifull.

TL Hobs
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 9:42:27 PM
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I am reminded of a song by Haywood Banks called, You Can Be Mean To Me. The lyrics go like this:

You can be mean to me,
Mean as you want to be
Just say anything that you like
You can be nasty and catty and cruel and unusual
Twist my nose with your fingers
Trip me while I carry liquids

But as you pin me down, my arms down on the ground
And your spit drips into my face
Deep in the back of your mind, remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep

And when you fall asleep
Into your room I'll creep
Did something move in the dark ‘neath your bed?
And then a voice you hear
It's calling loud and clear
A voice that is your own
A voice that's saying: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

This catalogue I found
Sells roaches by the pound
A package of indelible dye
Why would a guy,
Such as I,
Ever buy
Indelible dye,
Blue as the sky?
Don't ask me why

There's things that one can do
With Ben-Gay, Nair, and superglue
Don't the thought just give you a thrill
I think the meek shall inherit because they'll stay up late and change the will

And when you fall asleep
Into your room I'll creep
Did something move in the dark ‘neath your bed?
And then a voice you hear
It's calling loud and clear
A voice that is your own
A voice that's saying: EEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUH!

You can get the whole song with music and more at http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=12981

The point he makes is that while others may have a physical advantage, there are times when that advantage goes away. Such fun can be had then getting even.
TB
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 10:10:52 PM
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The best of men are those with moral, intellectual or physical strength, who do not need to prove anything to anyone but themselves.
FlashBack1968
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 10:15:57 PM
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Location: San Antonio, Texas
TL Hobs wrote:
I am reminded of a song by Haywood Banks called, You Can Be Mean To Me.


Fuuny song.

A little off topic but I'm taken back a long way with title "Mean to Me".
You're mean to me
Why must you be mean to me?
Gee, honey, it seems to me
You love to see me cryin'
I don't know why
I stay home each night
When you say you phone
You don't and I'm left alone.
Sing the blues and sighin'
You treat me coldly each day in the year
You always scold me
Whenever somebody is near, dear
I must be great fun to be mean to me
You shouldn't, for can't you see
What you mean to me


Smooth - http://tinysong.com/bPRz

Blues - http://tinysong.com/a9uz

Christine
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 10:42:28 PM
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abcxyz and kisholoy mukherjee ...I was surprised that both of you are in India. I thought your country has a gentle religion. Do the young people believe in Hinduism?
RRP
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2009 10:53:05 PM
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Bullies are often the product of their home environment, usually abusive relationships. They are used to seeing people get favors and dominance for aggressive behavior. They have just reacted to this environment with a pragmatic survivalist attitude and will only respect dominant behavior as a reaction. Of course this doesn’t mean they aren’t at fault. Quite the opposite. The problem is that often the only favored response to bullying validates their sense of aggressiveness and can be part of continuing the cycle. Life is complicated but the opportunity for a solution is always available.
.wichitarick
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:39:10 AM
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Joined: 8/29/2009
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Neurons: 752

Quote:
What do you think about bullies and how do you think students and teachers should deal with them?

Sorry to hear that. It is hard to judge your situation?
I am teaching my daughter to just say hello to them and smile
name calling ,stealing ,etc .I am saying take it to the extreme if necessary and be nice .
My own experience has proven that the jerk needs you to be weak and your smile shows STRENGTH Angel not weakness.Boo hoo! also never be afraid to run .
That bullies also can produce a violent person ,people can only take so much and some will strike back rather than become all the other phobias that are listed in psych.101 books.
Quote:
WOW quite the lyrics T.B..I am reminded of a song by Haywood Banks called, You Can Be Mean To Me. The lyrics go like this

Scary, I may have a story to back up that tune. Shhh NAHHH I am nice guy Silenced R.C.


TB
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:52:12 AM
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Joined: 4/12/2009
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Location: America
.wichitarick wrote:


[quote]WOW quite the lyrics T.B..



That was TL's lyrics but thanks anyway
.wichitarick
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:22:29 AM
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Joined: 8/29/2009
Posts: 221
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Quote:
.wichitarick wrote:


[quote]WOW quite the lyrics T.B..


That was TL's lyrics but thanks anyway

OOOOps I knew that Boo hoo! should have double checked d'oh!
I was just about to compliment myself on retaining a little more memory Shame on you well back to this Brick wall
But no bullying allowed I have 911 with my taxes and flag. R.C.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 2:26:50 AM
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RRP wrote:
Bullies are often the product of their home environment, usually abusive relationships. They are used to seeing people get favors and dominance for aggressive behavior. They have just reacted to this environment with a pragmatic survivalist attitude and will only respect dominant behavior as a reaction. Of course this doesn’t mean they aren’t at fault. Quite the opposite. The problem is that often the only favored response to bullying validates their sense of aggressiveness and can be part of continuing the cycle. Life is complicated but the opportunity for a solution is always available.


Good points, RRP. I have seen that pattern too. In my school days, I had a close acquaintance who at the same time was a real pain in the as*. He used to be the first boy in class, and whenever in class tests or may be finals I used to outscore him, he used to vent his anger at me. He would disturb me and wouldn't even allow me to take down notes. Isn't quite an example of bully, but then he used to tease me and bully as well. And I remember how that little monster used to shrink in fear on seeing his mom after school was over. I could clearly hear his mom scolding him one day for "slipping" to the second position. It was that pressure that took a toll on him and he used to vent it out at others. He told me once his mom used to beat him with an umbrella if he didn't secure the top spot!
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 2:29:22 AM
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wercozy wrote:
What goes around comes around. It may take a long time, but eventually someone stops them, or they grow up.


I am afraid that doesn't happen too often wercozy. These offenders actually spend their entire lives picking on, ragging and bullying others. I know some elderly people even here in India who just relish the opportunity of making fun of someone who is even even younger than half their age. No doubt they all had that trait in them all their life.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 2:46:59 AM
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Christine wrote:
abcxyz and kisholoy mukherjee ...I was surprised that both of you are in India. I thought your country has a gentle religion. Do the young people believe in Hinduism?


I don't quite know what you mean, Christine. I don't know if they believe in hinduism. Well some do, yes. But what has that got to do with bullying?? If you are of the notion that in India bullies don't exist, then you are unfortunately wrong Christine. I am not religious, as I have told before, and I am an atheist, but I have never ever teased anyone or bullied anyone. In fact, I have always tried to take sides with those who were treated as "outcast" in my class. ANd yes there are believers in Hinduism who are bullies. In fact, ragging is one of the most favorite pastimes in Indian colleges, I dare say. As abcxyz also mentioned, even schools are not above this. In engineering colleges in particular, ragging is so rampant that students often have to leave college out of fear. Many students have committed suicide, or have gone through unbearable mental as well as physical torture and have had to leave college. Just see the link I gave in my first post in this thread only, and you will get an idea of the kind of bullying that goes on here.
In fact, I am surprised you thought that those who would believe in hinduism would be gentle. In fact, far from it, in India the belief in hinduism (or in fact any religion) is [b]inversely proportional[/i] to the gentleness in that person. Whatever might be the reason, that is the truth. Extremist Hindus are the Shiv Sena and even the BJP (political parties) who are nothing short of terrorists....and then there are Islamist extremists as well, like the SIMI, Indian Mujahiudeen etc.
But then, bullying is a trait that can be in anyone and there are moderate believers (of religions) who are "extremist" bullies.
So, bullying is mostly independent of religion.
peterhewett
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 2:58:28 AM
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Bullying is of course very unpleasant and never justified, but one has to have strength of character. Usually that will suffice since most bullies are cowards and only need to resisted, for the most part, and they will cease.

Twice folk tried to bully me and on both occasions I resisted and won through. Once a whole gang of Barnado boys threatened me, but I would not give in to their demands. I was chased through the streets of Windsor for non-compliance. Later we became friends. I was the first to stand up to them.

It is hard for timid folk I am sure, the thing is not to put up with it in silence. Talk to people. My advice is don't suffer in silence, show some spunk.

pedro
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 4:44:33 AM
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kisholoy mukherjee wrote:
RRP wrote:
Bullies are often the product of their home environment, usually abusive relationships. They are used to seeing people get favors and dominance for aggressive behavior. They have just reacted to this environment with a pragmatic survivalist attitude and will only respect dominant behavior as a reaction. Of course this doesn’t mean they aren’t at fault. Quite the opposite. The problem is that often the only favored response to bullying validates their sense of aggressiveness and can be part of continuing the cycle. Life is complicated but the opportunity for a solution is always available.


Good points, RRP. I have seen that pattern too. In my school days, I had a close acquaintance who at the same time was a real pain in the as*. He used to be the first boy in class, and whenever in class tests or may be finals I used to outscore him, he used to vent his anger at me. He would disturb me and wouldn't even allow me to take down notes. Isn't quite an example of bully, but then he used to tease me and bully as well. And I remember how that little monster used to shrink in fear on seeing his mom after school was over. I could clearly hear his mom scolding him one day for "slipping" to the second position. It was that pressure that took a toll on him and he used to vent it out at others. He told me once his mom used to beat him with an umbrella if he didn't secure the top spot!



My experience of bullies is somewhat different- nowadays pupils with learning difficulties, dyslexia etc are deemed to have special educational needs and are given extra help. In my primary school days such notions were unheard of and teachers did not know what to do with such pupils (and were often secretly pleased when they were truanting). Those that did not go AWOL would often be resentfully held back a year or more and take this as a form of public humiliation which they would in turn get out of their system, usually at the expense of pupils deemed 'clever'. I only suffered once at the hands of one such but I do recall one terrified child who was bullied pretty much daily. I don't think he was ever able to confront it. I wonder what became of him.
sandraleesmith46
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 6:52:57 AM
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Bullies are a bit like a flock of chickens: they can spot the weak among or around them with uncanny skill, and will peck at the weak spot until they kill that weak one, or it's removed from the flock. If they're in a gang, as they often are, even standing up to them can sometimes be risky, because "mob mentality" can come into play. I was a victim too, being small for my age, and an "oddball" too {a fair redhead sticks out among predominantly swarthy-complected Italians} and the school and teachers did nothing. In recent years, however, I've been seeing where schools around here are starting to recognize that as a problem and deal with it, or try to, at least. The problem with expecting a religion that teaches gentleness to quell bullying is forgetting it doesn't preclude the people being HUMAN, and we humans have an amazing capacity for being cruel to each other in many ways.
introspectfreedic
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 7:09:57 AM
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Bully, could be peer pressure most often to pursue and keep up the rapport. The person will stop bullying once they realize that they are still a rat even when they win the race. At times it is simple to make them realize, but most of the time it is not.
abcxyz
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 8:38:21 AM
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sandraleesmith46 wrote:
Bullies are a bit like a flock of chickens: they can spot the weak among or around them with uncanny skill, and will peck at the weak spot until they kill that weak one, or it's removed from the flock. If they're in a gang, as they often are, even standing up to them can sometimes be risky, because "mob mentality" can come into play. I was a victim too, being small for my age, and an "oddball" too {a fair redhead sticks out among predominantly swarthy-complected Italians} and the school and teachers did nothing. In recent years, however, I've been seeing where schools around here are starting to recognize that as a problem and deal with it, or try to, at least. The problem with expecting a religion that teaches gentleness to quell bullying is forgetting it doesn't preclude the people being HUMAN, and we humans have an amazing capacity for being cruel to each other in many ways.

I'm sorry to hear that you had to face bullying too. Here in India it's kind of like a rule that freshers will be ragged on their first day of college. It's called 'intro', as in introduction. I skipped college on my first day, and my seniors were friendly and nice, so I never faced any kind of ragging in college. Bullies are often backed by teachers, so sometimes complaining on them can backfire on you. I think the authority should have a strict set of rules against bullies.
fred
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 8:53:19 AM
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abcxyz wrote:
wercozy wrote:
What goes around comes around. It may take a long time, but eventually someone stops them, or they grow up.

No, wercozy, not always.


After awhile, the bully's mode of thought permeates all his/her cells and the dna changes. This always ends with a serious disease like cancer. They do this to themselves. It is not your fault.
early_apex
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 9:04:05 AM
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RRP wrote:
Bullies are often the product of their home environment, usually abusive relationships. They are used to seeing people get favors and dominance for aggressive behavior. They have just reacted to this environment with a pragmatic survivalist attitude and will only respect dominant behavior as a reaction. Of course this doesn’t mean they aren’t at fault. Quite the opposite. The problem is that often the only favored response to bullying validates their sense of aggressiveness and can be part of continuing the cycle. Life is complicated but the opportunity for a solution is always available.


RRP, yours is the most realistic assessment here. During my time of being bullied, my teachers would tell me that I needed to be more agressive and fight back. However, I was unable to, due to my upbringing.

Fortunately for me, this was only a problem during Jr. High and High School.
risadr
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 9:35:43 AM
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I have surprisingly little experience with bullying, given that throughout elementary and middle school I was of relatively small stature and I did well academically, classifying me as a "geek." Add to that the fact that, in middle and high school, I was an active member of both the band and the orchestra, as well as drama club and the GSA, and I should've been a prime target.

At my high school, especially, I noticed that there was a large amount of overlap in the stereotypical high school cliques (band, drama, art, jocks, student government, etc), and that a lot of us also had honors and AP classes together, so there seemed to be more tolerance of one another's differences, on the basis of that common academic ground. I think that the bullying that did occur at my high school probably occurred between students who were generally low achievers, or by those who didn't participate in extracurricular activities, but even those kids seemed to keep it to themselves.

It is my understanding that, as Christine said, most schools are taking a "zero-tolerance" stance when it comes to bullying. I also know that acceptance of others' differences and general respect are being taught and reinforced at much younger grades/ages, now. It's something that students need to learn -- or rather, be taught -- that there will always be someone whom you dislike or who dislikes you, but that doesn't justify mistreating that individual and it's better, instead, to simply coexist as peacefully as possible without interacting with one another at all.

The problem with bullying, today -- not that there's anything really good about bullying -- is that it's occurring less and less frequently in the classical ways (name calling, physical roughness, etc.). As students are becoming more tech savvy, they're turning to using technology and electronic media to target one another. This, of course, raises a whole new set of issues that need to be dealt with.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 10:49:19 AM
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abcxyz wrote:
sandraleesmith46 wrote:
Bullies are a bit like a flock of chickens: they can spot the weak among or around them with uncanny skill, and will peck at the weak spot until they kill that weak one, or it's removed from the flock. If they're in a gang, as they often are, even standing up to them can sometimes be risky, because "mob mentality" can come into play. I was a victim too, being small for my age, and an "oddball" too {a fair redhead sticks out among predominantly swarthy-complected Italians} and the school and teachers did nothing. In recent years, however, I've been seeing where schools around here are starting to recognize that as a problem and deal with it, or try to, at least. The problem with expecting a religion that teaches gentleness to quell bullying is forgetting it doesn't preclude the people being HUMAN, and we humans have an amazing capacity for being cruel to each other in many ways.

I'm sorry to hear that you had to face bullying too. Here in India it's kind of like a rule that freshers will be ragged on their first day of college. It's called 'intro', as in introduction. I skipped college on my first day, and my seniors were friendly and nice, so I never faced any kind of ragging in college. Bullies are often backed by teachers, so sometimes complaining on them can backfire on you. I think the authority should have a strict set of rules against bullies.


Valid points there abcxyz. I wonder who will set the example if teachers don't. And I really abhor this trend of ragging on the first day of college. I have faced it myself, and it brought me to tears. I became ill, in fact after my first day in college. And yet compared to what happens in many colleges in India, it was nothing. The college authorities are to be blamed for not taking serious action against those who are doing such things. Also, to ensure that no false complaints can be made, vigilance is important. A college or a school is an educational institute; there should be nothing beyond that; with the exception of extra-curricular activities.
fred
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 11:11:24 AM
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From my experience, bullies are "afeard" of having the stuffings beaten out of them.

In junior high, this Russian Jew had an abusive tongue. Funny thing, a German Jew, who was the star wrestler, taught that Russian a lesson in the locker room. The Russian did not come to school the next day. I was surprised he didn't have a ruptured spleen.
From then on, that Russian tongue was as dull a yesterday's news.
gamerboy
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 12:07:14 PM
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all i can say is avoid them as much as possible.
capo403
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:05:13 PM
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gatodepatasblancas wrote:
Everybody want to know a secret?

Bullies, deep inside, feel they are tiny, small creatures, and they are absolutly insecure.

They hate to feel that way, and need to believe they are strong and powerfull.

But they can't get that measuring themselves against strong and powerfull people, but their psycological need drive them to make something. They gather in packs like wolves. And then they bully people that seems weak or defenseless, and they need to have witnesses, that way they can crow how big and powerfull they are.

In fact, bullies are pitifull.





This is so true. And, the bullies draw followers because those followers realize that the bully, of course, isn't as likely to target his/her supporters. This, in turn, only reinforces the bully's behavior. Unfortunately, bullying isn't limited to the school environment. It happens in the workplace, too, and wherever people congregate.

I empathize with those who are the victim of bullies. I was small and shy as a child, so there were a lot of children who picked on me. I was somewhat sickly as it was, but was so nervous about going to school that I frequently had stomachaches.

As an adult, I am still petite and timid, plus I have physical disabilities, so there are people who take advantage. I have gone through vocational rehabilitation twice and have spent my own money going back to school so that I could change my career, but I always end up in a job where people force me to do things the doctors have told me not to do, and things that are physically difficult for me. So, I end up with additional injuries and go through physical therapy again. The coworkers who do the bullying are often ones who have been with the company the longest and are the ones who actually control the company internally, although they are not executives or managers, and not well educated. Again, it is that they thrive on a feeling of power and control because they do not feel control over their personal lives.

Because I do know that there is a God, I remind myself that one day we will all stand before Him in judgment and I will be required only to give account of what I have done and said - not what someone has done or said to me. It is easy to become defensive and even hostile when experiencing hostility ourselves. But, that means that the bullies are actually controlling us by driving us inward. At work, I try to be cheerful and pretend like I'm having fun - which, I have found, really annoys the bullies!

Even in religion - and I think probably it is true of all religions - bullies exist because they have faith in their religion/church rather than faith in God.
fred
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:30:09 PM
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Another junior high incident, one of my friends looked like a doughboy- soft.
In P.E., there were always a few bullies that would pick out one of the soft, non athletic types. Well, one day my doughboy friend must have had enough. The bully found out the doughboy had been taking boxing lessons from his Golden Gloves champion father all his life. His moves were sweet.
Again the bully did not come to school the next day. When he did return, both eyes where jet black. He went from bully to laughing stock.
fred
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:40:16 PM
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Yet another, I was new to school and little did I know one of the bullies liked to make the new kids know what the pecking order was. He was low class with no academic prowess.
I walked by this bully who was talking to an African American girl. Well, he punched me and pushed me to the ground. The girl became his cheerleader- egging him on. I got up and stood in front of him and looked him in the eye. He pushed me to the ground again. I looked around to see if I was going to get any help from anyone. No luck. I was on my own. I again got up and stood in front of him and looked him in the eye. He pushed me down again. This time when I got up and stood in front of him he was shaking like a leaf. He walked away.

Bullies and abusers are cowards.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:40:49 PM
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capo403 wrote:


This is so true. And, the bullies draw followers because those followers realize that the bully, of course, isn't as likely to target his/her supporters. This, in turn, only reinforces the bully's behavior. Unfortunately, bullying isn't limited to the school environment. It happens in the workplace, too, and wherever people congregate.

I empathize with those who are the victim of bullies. I was small and shy as a child, so there were a lot of children who picked on me. I was somewhat sickly as it was, but was so nervous about going to school that I frequently had stomachaches.

As an adult, I am still petite and timid, plus I have physical disabilities, so there are people who take advantage. I have gone through vocational rehabilitation twice and have spent my own money going back to school so that I could change my career, but I always end up in a job where people force me to do things the doctors have told me not to do, and things that are physically difficult for me. So, I end up with additional injuries and go through physical therapy again. The coworkers who do the bullying are often ones who have been with the company the longest and are the ones who actually control the company internally, although they are not executives or managers, and not well educated. Again, it is that they thrive on a feeling of power and control because they do not feel control over their personal lives.

Because I do know that there is a God, I remind myself that one day we will all stand before Him in judgment and I will be required only to give account of what I have done and said - not what someone has done or said to me. It is easy to become defensive and even hostile when experiencing hostility ourselves. But, that means that the bullies are actually controlling us by driving us inward. At work, I try to be cheerful and pretend like I'm having fun - which, I have found, really annoys the bullies!

Even in religion - and I think probably it is true of all religions - bullies exist because they have faith in their religion/church rather than faith in God.


That is a very touchy post, capo403. Only those who have faced bullying can understand the pains of other victims of it. I empathize with you and I think you have set an example for others to follow. Such display of courage in the face of bullying is quite rare. Hats off to you. I can deeply relate with your situation and I know it takes a lot of courage to be able to stand up to the offenders from a situation like yours.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:42:52 PM
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Joined: 10/31/2009
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fred wrote:


Bullies and abusers are cowards.


Yes, but you see bullies are like wolves...they hunt in packs.
fred
Posted: Wednesday, December 2, 2009 1:43:25 PM
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kisholoy mukherjee wrote:
fred wrote:


Bullies and abusers are cowards.


Yes, but you see bullies are like wolves...they hunt in packs.


Pack yourself.
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