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bugdoctor
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 10:57:54 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/8/2009
Posts: 1,789
Neurons: 5,456
Location: United States - Georgia
Let's write a story. In this case, a murder mystery. I'll begin with a line, and someone else will add the next. Your line may or may not move the story forward. It may just 'go with the flow' of the moment. It might be best to copy the prior section, then add your own. This may or may not work because as the length grows, it may become unwieldy. But let's give it a go.

Here goes.

When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub.
kruger
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:09:15 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/20/2009
Posts: 204
Neurons: 471
Location: India
bugdoctor wrote:
Let's write a story. In this case, a murder mystery. I'll begin with a line, and someone else will add the next. Your line may or may not move the story forward. It may just 'go with the flow' of the moment.

Here goes.

When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub.


It was just seconds and the levee of his weak bladder was already broken and his pants soaked up salinity
Maggie
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:32:09 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/27/2009
Posts: 727
Neurons: 2,128
(well - saving this thread now will take a lot of creativity)
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:39:23 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/31/2009
Posts: 3,729
Neurons: 7,777
Location: here and there
Maggie wrote:
(well - saving this thread now will take a lot of creativity)


lol
peterhewett
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:53:17 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/15/2009
Posts: 2,452
Neurons: 3,698
Location: In my head
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble.




(I like this thread.... is three line ok? sorry)

twinsonic
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 12:16:03 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/18/2009
Posts: 356
Neurons: 1,322
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night.


Yorker
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 12:37:06 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 687
Neurons: 2,084
Location: United Kingdom
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done. Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.


kauserali
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 12:48:31 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/18/2009
Posts: 649
Neurons: 1,955
Location: Saudi Arabia
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done. Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him. He turned towards the wall to find a message written with blood, "Face your obsession". He shuddered with fear. He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and ran to the bathroom to erase his fingerprints. There he finds it....
Akkuratix
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 12:48:39 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2009
Posts: 120
Neurons: 540
Location: Kemi, Lapponia, Finland
Yorker wrote:
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done. Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.He touched carefully his neck and knew there was a great wound, he remembered only black shadow last night and now this, whatever it could be.


Kat
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 1:11:34 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/19/2009
Posts: 878
Neurons: 3,389
kauserali wrote:
and Yorker wrote:
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done? Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.
He touched carefully his neck and knew there was a great wound; he remembered only black shadow last night and now this, whatever it could be.
He turned towards the wall to find a message written with blood, "Face your obsession". He shuddered with fear. He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and ran to the bathroom to erase his fingerprints. There he finds it....

a small black bag containing chloroform, a rag and a numbered list in a foreign language...

zoha1956
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 3:27:33 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 6/22/2009
Posts: 25
Neurons: 78
Location: United States
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done? Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.
He touched carefully his neck and knew there was a great wound; he remembered only black shadow last night and now this, whatever it could be.
He turned towards the wall to find a message written with blood, "Face your obsession". He shuddered with fear. He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and ran to the bathroom to erase his fingerprints. There he finds it....
a small black bag containing chloroform, a rag and a numbered list in a foreign language.
"Face you obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession...", a voice murmured insistently behind him, the chant forcing shivers down his back and dampening his clothes with sweat.
Christine
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 5:25:13 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done? Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.
He touched carefully his neck and knew there was a great wound; he remembered only black shadow last night and now this, whatever it could be.
He turned towards the wall to find a message written with blood, "Face your obsession". He shuddered with fear. He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and ran to the bathroom to erase his fingerprints. There he finds it....
a small black bag containing chloroform, a rag and a numbered list in a foreign language.
"Face you obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession...", a voice murmured insistently behind him, the chant forcing shivers down his back and dampening his clothes with sweat. He turned to see a parrot.
vagnersiqueira
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 6:59:41 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/22/2009
Posts: 29
Neurons: 89
Location: Brazil
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done? Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.
He touched carefully his neck and knew there was a great wound; he remembered only black shadow last night and now this, whatever it could be.
He turned towards the wall to find a message written with blood, "Face your obsession". He shuddered with fear. He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and ran to the bathroom to erase his fingerprints. There he finds it....
a small black bag containing chloroform, a rag and a numbered list in a foreign language.
"Face you obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession...", a voice murmured insistently behind him, the chant forcing shivers down his back and dampening his clothes with sweat. He turned to see a parrot. A parrot... A parrot... A parrot!!! He thought... Maybe he heard something incriminating about last night! Names... His name being said out loud for the one that was murdered. What could he do? Kill the bird? Then he suddenly heard... Tubby... Tubby... All his doubts about what to do with that bird had turned into a certainty: That bird should be killed!!!
lostinasia
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 10:05:24 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 21
Neurons: 63
Location: Taiwan
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. The unexpected, however, was his line of work. Pulling the plug, he sat on the bath side and watched the blood red water slowly drain away to reveal a naked, thirty something, platinum blonde. He was in trouble. Realizing he had tampered with a crime scene, but too late to change anything, he took another glance at the body, hoping above all else that this was not the woman he brought home last night. Oh my God! It was. What had he done? Tubby grabbed his bathrobe and ran through the bedroom. He stopped. There was the rumpled bed. It all came back to him.
He touched carefully his neck and knew there was a great wound; he remembered only black shadow last night and now this, whatever it could be.
He turned towards the wall to find a message written with blood, "Face your obsession". He shuddered with fear. He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and ran to the bathroom to erase his fingerprints. There he finds it....
a small black bag containing chloroform, a rag and a numbered list in a foreign language.
"Face you obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your obsession...", a voice murmured insistently behind him, the chant forcing shivers down his back and dampening his clothes with sweat. He turned to see a parrot. A parrot... A parrot... A parrot!!! He thought... Maybe he heard something incriminating about last night! Names... His name being said out loud for the one that was murdered. What could he do? Kill the bird? Then he suddenly heard... Tubby... Tubby... All his doubts about what to do with that bird had turned into a certainty: That bird should be killed!!!
Strangle it! Shut up! Strangle it! Rip its head off! Shut up! Insane thoughts raced through his head like an F1 racing car screeching round the bend. Shut up! Face your obsession, Tubby Tarlton! Face your...AAAARGH! SHUT UP!
peterhewett
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:00:49 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/15/2009
Posts: 2,452
Neurons: 3,698
Location: In my head
Feeling dizzy he slumped down on the side of the bed, and gradually recovering from his delirium he realized there was no parrot. Raising his head up in hope he looked through the open bathroom door, there may be no parrot, but as sure as hell there was a naked body in his bath since he could see her arm hanging over the tub side. Slowly the events of the previous night came back to him. He had been framed.

The blaring sound of police sirens jolted him to full awareness. A wave of panic swept over him and grabbing his pants off the floor he struggled into them. Hastily shoving his bare feet into a pair of trainers, he then took the first shirt to hand from his closet. Through the open window he heard the police cars screech to a halt and reaching up to the top shelf of the closet he retrieved his Glock 22. As his hand touched the smooth cold metal a feeling of relief swept over him but it was short lived; time was running out.

Snatching at the bottom drawer in the closet he pulled it open and grabbed some ammo, a bunch of passports snd some credit cards kept for tight spots like this.

As he hauled his twenty stone frame out of the his bedroom window, and on to the fire escape, he heard the sound of the front door being smashed in. Deja Vu, he thought as he, with surprising agilty for a man his size, sped down the four story fire escape.
bobezza
Posted: Sunday, November 22, 2009 11:34:00 PM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 11/22/2009
Posts: 3
Neurons: 9
Location: United States
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. Of course, Tubby was also surprised to find a feather on his shoulder.
peterhewett
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 12:10:31 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/15/2009
Posts: 2,452
Neurons: 3,698
Location: In my head
Hello bobezza Welcome to the forum.


Peter said

The idea is to carry the story forward but you started it again.

twinsonic
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 12:43:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/18/2009
Posts: 356
Neurons: 1,322
"The idea is to carry the story forward but you started it again."

Actually, I thought that was a brilliant continuation, if that is indeed the intent! I read it as if Tubby has awoken from a dream in which he actually killed his parrot. Originally we were to add one sentence.
peterhewett
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 1:33:47 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/15/2009
Posts: 2,452
Neurons: 3,698
Location: In my head
Yes Twinsonic and I see I am guilty of starting it again... ha ha . I'll try to be good.
Dreamy
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 3:17:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
Posts: 1,501
Neurons: 10,806
Location: Hamilton, Waikato, New Zealand
peterhewett wrote:
Yes Twinsonic and I see I am guilty of starting it again... ha ha . I'll try to be good.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Blarkel Crenghmagon from the future. I work for the Timeline Repair Authority and it is my task to correct spacetime anomalies, such as the one now affecting this thread. Unless someone provides information on the whereabouts of Tubby Tarlton I must warn you there will be serious temporal disruptions which will cause amnesia and other side affects to all those who have ever had any association with him. Think carefully about your response.
sandraleesmith46
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 4:20:55 AM
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Joined: 11/20/2009
Posts: 695
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Location: Arizona's high deserts
Having reached the alley below his fire escape, Tubby managed to snag a passing taxi, and get to a nearby private airport, where he chartered a flight out of the country, wondering how he was ever going to straighten this mess out!
peterhewett
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 6:25:46 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/15/2009
Posts: 2,452
Neurons: 3,698
Location: In my head
Tubby leaned back in his seat and released the recliner lever; he was exhausted. He tried to sleep, but his mind was racing over the previous nights events as he sought to make sense of the last 24 hours of his life. It was no good he was too hyped up to relax. Reaching over to the empty seat beside him, he opened up his attache case and selected an active credit card that went along with the name on the passport he was now using. He reflected on a turbulent week and concluded that he was glad to see the back of Mexico.

On landing, Carl Rednap, alias Tubby Tarlton or TT as he was affectionally known by his close circle of friends, checked out at Dallas airport and headed for a safe bolt hole.
vagnersiqueira
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 6:42:12 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/22/2009
Posts: 29
Neurons: 89
Location: Brazil
Then he arrived to his destination: Tokyo!

Carl Rednap is now going to have fun as a tourist, maybe he'll try to start a new life, learn a new language, adapt himself to the new customs... Maybe he didn't need to change the way he looked, although he heard the news on the sidewalk he was walking towards to his new life, as he heard: Tubby Tarlton, a professional killer, is being looked by the Federal Bureau of Investigation. A reward is on your way if you happen to find him. Here is his picture...
lostinasia
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 7:59:44 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 8/10/2009
Posts: 21
Neurons: 63
Location: Taiwan
How the hell had that happened? He'd just been in Dallas airport and now he was in Tokyo! They even had a picture of him! Only now, he wasn't really himself, he felt different somehow! They would never find him. He knew that. But what had just happened. What the hell was he doing in Tokyo and why was he not in Dallas? It was as if he'd been traveling through some kind of warped reality. It felt real, like all the other times...
risadr
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 8:32:58 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/16/2009
Posts: 1,155
Neurons: 3,545
Location: PA, United States
Tubby sat bolt upright and blinked, or thought he blinked, anyway. Suddenly, looking around, he realized that he was back in the apartment. He could see the dead woman's arm hanging over the tub side through the open bathroom door. Had it all been a dream? Clearly, no, since there was obviously a body in his bathroom, but what of the rest of it? This day was beginning to make less and less sense as it went on. Rather than sit around and wait to be found out, Tubby moved quickly pulled on his pants and jammed his bare feet into his trainers. He grabbed his gun and a shirt from the closet. He didn't even open the attache, just grabbed it and made a quick move for the fire escape.

He could hear sirens in the distance as he reached the ground. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and hailed a passing cab. This had to be deja vu or a dream or something. This couldn't all really be happening, he thought, as he told the driver, "Airport, please."
Christine
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 11:01:52 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
bobezza wrote:
When Tubby Tarlton got up at 5 AM to show some pity for his weak bladder, he never expected to find a body in his bathtub. Of course, Tubby was also surprised to find a feather on his shoulder.


I like this. why is this ignored?
Yorker
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2009 12:09:13 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/19/2009
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Location: United Kingdom
Tubby sat sweating in the back of the taxi. Taking out a tissue from his pocket he suddenly became aware of a blue feather. Slowly the events of the morning came rushing back. "Airport quickly", he said to the driver. "Hope Hanna in Amstadam can put me up until all this blows over", he thought.
Dreamy
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2009 1:18:04 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
Posts: 1,501
Neurons: 10,806
Location: Hamilton, Waikato, New Zealand
Blarkel Crenghmagon squinted around the hastily vacated apartment and his keen spacetime instincts told him that Tubby Tarlton had once again managed to avoid capture. One thing Blarkel was sure of, someone or something was manipulating the local spacetime coordinates and this was an infringement of the parallel dimension codes. Tarlton had a few questions to answer, but where was he now, and in which dimension?
capo403
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2009 2:16:52 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/26/2009
Posts: 564
Neurons: 1,815
Location: United States
Meanwhile, the taxi carrying Tubby Tarlton screeches to a halt. Stepping out of the cab, Tubby finds himself in the middle of a desert. He turns again toward the taxi, but it zooms away.

What was happening? He was definitely in some sort of time warp - a warped humor time warp, apparently. Someone, or something, was playing tricks on him. Was it his mind again? It was only three years since he escaped from the psychiatric hospital.

Tubby feels a tickle in his chest. Reaching into his vest pocket where he customarily keeps his wallet, he feels something soft and feathery. Is it?
Yorker
Posted: Tuesday, November 24, 2009 5:20:31 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/19/2009
Posts: 687
Neurons: 2,084
Location: United Kingdom
Blarkel Crenghmagon squinted around the hastily vacated apartment and his keen spacetime instincts told him that Tubby Tarlton had once again managed to avoid capture. One thing Blarkel was sure of, someone or something was manipulating the local spacetime coordinates and this was an infringement of the parallel dimension codes. Tarlton had a few questions to answer, but where was he now, and in which dimension?

Meanwhile, the taxi carrying Tubby Tarlton screeches to a halt. Stepping out of the cab, Tubby finds himself in the middle of a desert. He turns again toward the taxi, but it zooms away.

What was happening? He was definitely in some sort of time warp - a warped humor time warp, apparently. Someone, or something, was playing tricks on him. Was it his mind again? It was only three years since he escaped from the psychiatric hospital.

Tubby feels a tickle in his chest. Reaching into his vest pocket where he customarily keeps his wallet, he feels something soft and feathery. Is it? It was. Oh no! he screamed, his tranvestite costume feather bow. Had he left the rest back at the apartment? Who, What, Where, questions, questions ran through his troubled mind. Professor Blinkingheim said nothing about these flashbacks. Where would it all end. At that moment he looked up and in the distance he saw what appeared to be nomads heading straight towards him. He must hide.
twinsonic
Posted: Wednesday, November 25, 2009 12:27:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

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But, where? As Tubby frantically looked around searching for cover, he realized he was not only in the middle of a desert, it was a vast, sandy, flat desert.
Dreamy
Posted: Wednesday, November 25, 2009 1:57:58 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
Posts: 1,501
Neurons: 10,806
Location: Hamilton, Waikato, New Zealand
twinsonic wrote:
But, where? As Tubby frantically looked around searching for cover, he realized he was not only in the middle of a desert, it was a vast, sandy, flat desert.

If only he had believed the mysterious being who had visited him one night when he was ten years old. That was thirty years ago and not many days had passed without some memory of that night occupying his thoughts. Had he not been told by a luminous man dressed in a white suit that dark forces were at work to prevent him from fulfilling his true destiny and calling? And had he not been told by this person to devote his life to works of compassion and rightly dividing the word of God?

But now here in this deserted sandy expanse, confused, paranoid and in two minds as to whether or not to believe that all this was really happening Tarlton sank to his knees and prayed.

Blarkel Crenghmagon from a non-corporeal existence in the very distant future, made a few calculations as he scanned and recorded the sparsely furnished Mexican apartment that had recently accommodated the 40 year old, overweight, ex intelligence agent Tubby Tarlton who was the object of his Timeline Repair Authority assignment, and the reason for his insertion into the affairs of the year 2009AD.

The bathroom of Tarlton's apartment was a mess. A faint residue of latex and hair was identified by Blarkel's specialised sensory portals and no sooner had he activated an appropriate reverse temporal algorithm than the whole sequence of events that had led to Tarlton's panic became clear. A false murder had been elaborately staged in this very bathroom. It was another in a long list of attempts to frame Tubby Tarlton for crimes he hadn't committed.
Dreamy
Posted: Thursday, November 26, 2009 2:51:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
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Location: Hamilton, Waikato, New Zealand
Chief physicist Prudence Clagdinner was pleased the Large Hadron Collider was working again. She was also pleased that one very troublesome undercover intelligence agent by the name of Tobias Tarlton was nowhere to be found, and that no-one believed his wild stories of her billion dollar research facility being used to "split reality" and "create parallel dimensions". Her campaign to discredit him had worked, he had been exposed by her as a spy, sacked by his own organisation, and was now generally considered by the governments he had worked for to be "not quite the full English breakfast."
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2009 12:27:33 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/15/2009
Posts: 2,452
Neurons: 3,698
Location: In my head
‘What do you think of this dinner, Clag?’ Asked Wilomena Dogsbody.

‘Too lavish in my opinion,’ opined Clagdinner as she stuffed a large mince pie in her oversized mouth, ‘I’ll go further, it is an example of a gross lack of prudence. Frankly any dogsbody could have put this together, given the amount of money floating around this joint.’

‘I’ll second that, and go further, it is a gross disregard for the hungry and poor,’ declared Wilomena Dogsbody while in the act of devouring an oversized cream puff.

‘It has obviously got something to do with that overweight charlatan Tubby Tarlton,’ Clagdinner cynically said, as she eased her twenty stone down on to a convenient lounger, ‘where is he these days by the way?’

Tubby felt the weight of Prudence Clagdinner plump down on the lounger he was hiding under, forcing the breath out of him like jet stream, vibrating his lips as it passed.

Wilomena Dogsbody heard this and mistook it as a fart from Prudence Clagdinner, while she in turn was under the impression that the offending sound came from the rear end of Prudence. An uncomfortable silence ensued only to be broken by a real, and rich, fart from beneath the lounger.

Overcome by the fumes, Prudence passed out while Wilomena beat a hasty retreat vowing never to hobnob again with that vile, greedy, overweight creature Prudence Clagdinner. She grabbed a leg of chicken as she passed the buffet tables.

Meanwhile Tubby Tarlton eased himself from beneath the lounger and headed for the men's rest room.
Dreamy
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2009 2:32:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
Posts: 1,501
Neurons: 10,806
Location: Hamilton, Waikato, New Zealand
Wilomena Dogsbody, Prudence Clagdinner, suspicion and confusion over flatulence, and Tarton skulking around the canteen above the Large Hadron Collider where yesterday scientists operating the giant £6 billion machine at Cern, the nuclear research body near Geneva, told media they had finally succeeded in making low energy proton collisions which could eventually provide clues about the first Big Bang and the origins of the universe.

Blarkel Crenghmagon smiled and allowed himself a sigh of pity as he assimilated these spacetime events and continued scrolling through his dimension analyser.

Where was the real Tubby Tarlton? The counterfeit scenario he had just analysed was but one of the myriad parallel dimensions multiplying at an exponential rate thanks to the rogue experiments of Prudence Clagdinner and the team of nuclear physicists under her deluded control. Millions of alternative realities splitting from the one true divinely ordained reality, and Tarlton the guinea pig that was spawning them with each new thought that entered his mind. Crenghmagon must capture his attention and reverse the evil science that had made him an unwilling participant in a complex drama that was steadily corrupting the local timeline and jeopardising the future of planet earth and galaxy one.



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