mailing list For webmasters
Welcome Guest
punography Options
shelf
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2013 6:28:40 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/23/2011
Posts: 185
Neurons: 555
No help to Kopernik - but fun.

Punography:

•I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

•When chemists die, they barium.

•Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

•I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

•How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

•I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

•This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

•I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

•I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

•They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

•A dyslexic man walks into a bra .

•PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

•Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

•Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory-- I hope there's no pop quiz.

•The Energizer bunny arrested and charged with battery.

•The old man didn't like his beard at first. Then it grew on him.

•Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

•When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

•What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

•I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

•Broken pencils are pointless.

•What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

•England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

•I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

•All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

•I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

•Velcro - what a rip off!

•Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

•Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

•Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

•I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
Christine
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2013 10:34:47 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
thanks.. I enjoyed them.
almostfreebird
Posted: Friday, March 15, 2013 10:45:18 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/22/2011
Posts: 2,812
Neurons: 7,024
Location: Japan

Yeah!Applause



Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 4:57:17 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,131
Neurons: 594,898
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Why don't crazy people go astray in the forest?
They follow the psychopath.
IMcRout
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 5:08:08 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,380
Neurons: 563,379
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
That justice what I kneaded to weigh cup. Surrey.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 5:16:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,131
Neurons: 594,898
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night.
Dreamy
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 5:36:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2009
Posts: 1,501
Neurons: 10,806
Location: Hamilton, Waikato, New Zealand
Boxers like good jokes because of their punch lines. Ouch.
Tovarish
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 6:00:18 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 11,101
Neurons: 39,933
Location: Booligal, New South Wales, Australia
That is the funniest thing I have read in ages, thank you shelf.
kool-wind
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 8:03:32 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/13/2012
Posts: 2,625
Neurons: 10,106
Location: Le Busseau, Poitou-Charentes, France
Tennis players don't marry because love means nothing to them.

Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
uuaschbaer
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 8:29:20 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/18/2009
Posts: 1,928
Neurons: 6,180
Lovely, they're not unlike Tom Swifties, either.

"Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.

"I'm just going to put these handcuffs on you," said Tom manically.

"I want a motorized bicycle," Tom moped.

"The bank doesn't want me as a customer," said Tom unaccountably.

"Yes, I have read Gulliver's Travels," said Tom swiftly.

"Parsley, sage, rosemary," said Tom timelessly.
shelf
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 9:04:40 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/23/2011
Posts: 185
Neurons: 555
I'm so happy you enjoyed them. And thanks to those who added great ones to the list.
Christine
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 10:12:12 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote:
Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night.


LOL!!!
Christine
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 12:40:06 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
punography is porn with puny actors
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 6:00:58 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,131
Neurons: 594,898
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Has Man ever put feet on Uranus?
leonAzul
Posted: Saturday, March 16, 2013 6:12:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/11/2011
Posts: 8,589
Neurons: 31,076
Location: Miami, Florida, United States
What do you mean by two thirds of a pun is P-U?
excaelis
Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 2:16:37 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,965
Neurons: 32,652
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
This is complete Pundaemonium...
IMcRout
Posted: Sunday, March 17, 2013 4:24:37 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,380
Neurons: 563,379
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Isn't there something like a comeuppunce?
We'll all be punnished.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, March 19, 2013 6:42:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,131
Neurons: 594,898
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if help is needed for his luggage.
He says "No, I’m travelling light."
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, March 19, 2013 11:25:39 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,965
Neurons: 32,652
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
C'mon JJ, I just woke up !!
TL Hobs
Posted: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 1:49:16 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/16/2009
Posts: 1,399
Neurons: 6,101
Location: Kenai, Alaska, United States

When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will make puns.

leonAzul
Posted: Wednesday, March 20, 2013 7:54:21 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/11/2011
Posts: 8,589
Neurons: 31,076
Location: Miami, Florida, United States
I used to know a little Italian, but she moved back to Rome.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 7:14:32 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,131
Neurons: 594,898
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
kool-wind
Posted: Thursday, March 21, 2013 7:36:47 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/13/2012
Posts: 2,625
Neurons: 10,106
Location: Le Busseau, Poitou-Charentes, France
JJ, that one was in the original list Shame on you

A pronoun and a verb were dating but they broke up because the pronoun was too possessive.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, April 2, 2013 8:27:35 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,131
Neurons: 594,898
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
How come a notable man need a big table?
uuaschbaer
Posted: Tuesday, April 2, 2013 10:03:26 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/18/2009
Posts: 1,928
Neurons: 6,180
Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote:
How come a notable man need a big table?


Because he is a no-table man?
Users browsing this topic
Guest


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.