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What makes a woman attractive? Options
Mansoor Nasir
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 1:52:35 AM
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It is said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But still, I think, there are certain things that make something attractive to all. For example, roses are loved and liked by all. But why it is so that the woman whom I love to gaze at for hours does not appeal to your eyes. It may be that her eyes that are to me like diamonds are to you just two big balls rotating in a deep well. Then there is Shakespeare to confuse me more: there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so. There can never be any hard and fast rule to define or measure beauty. It is no doubt a relative term. But what I feel ,and I believe that most of the people will agree with me,is that a woman's beauty lies in her femininity and effeminacy. The more 'hidden' she is the more attractive and charming she looks. Modesty is her real jewellery; boldness makes her ugly. Manly and macho type women to me always look disgusting, unattractive and unfriendly. I do not mean to say that woman should always be docile and submissive. But she should never be a man because God has not intended her to be so.That is why He made her delicate. Delicacy is, in fact, effeminacy. Delicacy in her manners, in her gestures, in her dress, in her voice.
Tovarish
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 2:07:45 AM
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I hope you both will be very happy.
dev_sircar
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 2:21:36 AM

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Mansoor Nasir wrote:
It is said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But still, I think, there are certain things that make something attractive to all. For example, roses are loved and liked by all. But why it is so that the woman whom I love to gaze at for hours does not appeal to your eyes. It may be that her eyes that are to me like diamonds are to you just two big balls rotating in a deep well. Then there is Shakespeare to confuse me more: there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so. There can never be any hard and fast rule to define or measure beauty. It is no doubt a relative term. But what I feel ,and I believe that most of the people will agree with me,is that a woman's beauty lies in her femininity and effeminacy. The more 'hidden' she is the more attractive and charming she looks. Modesty is her real jewellery; boldness makes her ugly. Manly and macho type women to me always look disgusting, unattractive and unfriendly. I do not mean to say that woman should always be docile and submissive. But she should never be a man because God has not intended her to be so.That is why He made her delicate. Delicacy is, in fact, effeminacy. Delicacy in her manners, in her gestures, in her dress, in her voice.


I suggest you read Giovanni Boccaccio's "The Decameron" and believe all your doubts would be addressed.
You have attributed the quote,"there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so"; to Shakespeare. I thought it was Oscar Wilde.

Boo hoo!
dingdong
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 2:23:50 AM
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I hope this thread gets the right kind of response, and doesn't degenerate into sexism.

Of course, Mansoor, it is a purely subjective viewpoint. Regarding your assertion that attractiveness and charm is enhanced by being hidden, I, as a Westerner, cannot agree. Disregarding cultural reasons for the burka, I cannot see how a woman can shine through a slit for the eyes. Maybe she is not meant to, or maybe people indiginous to the burka-wearing regions see more than Westerners do.
At the other extreme is the naturist beach and the porn movie etc. You say boldness is ugly. Again, I cannot agree, although to be frank, I cannot think of anything less appealing than a woman (or man, for that matter) sporting, and indeed showing-off the fake, and I include implants, metalware in strange and painful places, and not least disfiguring tattoos. Call me retro if you like, but I like the natural look. God knows best.

So, what makes a woman attractive? I think it's called IT - a mysterious thing that triggers a hormonal response through magic and pheronomes. (Sorry, I'm not a chemist).

Quote "But why it is so that the woman whom I love to gaze at for hours does not appeal to your eyes"
Let's be thankful it is this way. Imagine if it wasn't?

I. for one, look forward to reading other views.
Ravindra
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 5:18:34 AM
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I agree with Mansoor. God has not intended her to be a man. He made her delicate. Delicacy is, in fact, effeminacy. Delicacy in her manners, in her gestures, in her dress, in her voice. Woman, for us, is a symbol of modesty.

It is the plain women who know about love; the beautiful women are too busy being fascinating.
KATHARINE HEPBURN,

percivalpecksniff
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 6:04:09 AM
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Ere dad’s away and eese left his compewter on.

Lettus be seereus for a mowment.Whots this nonscents abowt balls in a well? That’s inewendo that is. We all nose wear balls belong an it aynt in a well.

I’me a politecal corect kind of purson and ate showvenism, but ile get douwn to the nittee grittee.

Whot makes a woman attractive e asks? Ooh bugger me that’s easy. Ile get strate and two the point:

For starters a nice pair of knockers to rest my ed on when I am tired. Ah… an a complyant nayture in all respecks... she must where a skurt and not trowsurs. Er face must be an improovment on the back of a bus and she carnt carrie ane exsess baggige.

She must onlee speek when spoken two and no er place. She must not bee educayted sinse that is dangerus… this is a mans world and wee doughnt want the staytus qwo upset.

Ere I did all this withowt a spellchequer… speck yoo can tell that. Ime oping two go two oxord to studee inglish soon.
Karate Gal
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 6:29:21 AM
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Percival's brat ... you have to be kidding me!
percivalpecksniff
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 6:51:31 AM
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Welcome to the forum Karate Gal. I am afraid Algernon caught me napping. He is becoming unmanageable these days. Still, once he passes his entrance exam for Oxford he will be off my hands.

I must be patient... he is the bright one of the family, such a modernist... we have high hopes for him.
Ray41
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:29:04 AM

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PercShame on you you should get Algernon educated more[some? a lot more?] as he forgot 'a gud cuk and lotsa brass'.Whistle
percivalpecksniff
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:48:19 AM
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Ray. I am afraid that I can take no responsibility for the actions of my son Algernon. Any omission by him will have to be directed to him, and to him alone.
Karate Gal
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 8:17:10 AM
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Percival, I hope for your sake they don't set too much store in spelling in Oxford then Eh?
pedro
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 8:26:17 AM
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Percy's posts remind me of a spoof the Guardian did on 'Relative Values' which was a competitor's column in which father/mother/son/daughter would give their views on different subjects. The Guardian's featured the two Gascoignes, Bamber (university challenge et al) and Paul (drinker and footballer). I'm sure Algernon will be accepted up at Oxford,as long as he puts his application in the right sort of envelope.
Epiphileon
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 9:06:34 AM

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Genes, Mind, and Culture.

ETA for clarity, this is the title of a book that was the groundbreaking work of what was then called sociobiology, and apparently is now called Dual Inheritance Theory.
Basically in humans, it is co-evolutionary forces that are responsible for the development of mating strategies.
Ravindra
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 9:15:45 AM
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A thread-jacking?

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke
percivalpecksniff
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 9:26:01 AM
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Epi you are so right when you said: Genes, Mind, and Culture.



It is such a joy when they come together at such a high standard... I am glad you spotted that. Thank you for your encouragement.


My thoughts on an ideal woman, as opposed to Algernon's, are thus:

A free mind...good humour...non-combative, but strong on views... a good caring and kind heart...keen intelligence and, if possible, a great figure to die for.

percivalpecksniff
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 9:35:33 AM
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Hello Ravi. No, not thread jacking ...just a little humour. I saw the funny side of the title to the questioners post.
percivalpecksniff
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 1:22:24 PM
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Dual Inheritance Theory...mmm... personally I don't buy that theory... but then it is just a theory, but of course there are many views.

Minds have not improved... one has only to look back in history to see that. Witness Solomon, David.. great poets and wise with sayings and words. Then there is the Greek philosophers and the great early Muslim minds. Look at what they worked out with less at their disposal. Milton....Newton...Copernicus to name a few. The list goes right back and is long.




I like this Epi: 'Basically in humans, it is co-evolutionary forces that are responsible for the development of mating strategies.'

Mating as I see is not so complicated and has changed little. It is an impulse or a part of the nature of man since he was created. The sex drive and the need to procreate are strong, and have always been so... nothing new there. It is true there is' nothing new under the sun.'

I dont think it has anything to do with co-evolutionary forces. The penis and the vagina are for procreating and that is why they exist...and in my view were created. Enjoyment is a delightful side issue which ensures our survival.

But back to the thread.

I think that although the outside is, to an extent, part of the process in selecting a partner, the motivations and personality are surely paramount.

Although I did not succeed at marriage, and some of that is down to me, I think that when succesful it is a beautiful arrangement and the ideal one. Most children hate their parents breaking up and a part of them feels robbed. When a marriage ends up and children are involved there are desparate moves to mitigate the breakup.



Jeech
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 2:12:19 PM
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To me, attraction comes from two sources:

Nature

Nurture

And the rest is the cultural prejudices that certainly count.
Geeman
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 3:32:27 PM

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"Attractive" is so subjective.... Does that mean physically attractive? If so, the concept of "beauty" often varies too much for even that to be very useful. When it comes to what is "attractive" in women, I think there's a range of things that one would have to talk about. Physical beauty, intelligence, education, personality, character, etc.

I read recently that "kindness" is a personality trait that tends to accompany successful breeding pairs in humans. It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of "attractive" but it seems to be one of those things that really is more of a factor than we probably give credit.

I'm reminded of a joke that was in a very popular (read: fad) book many years ago: Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. If I remember correctly, it had a list of qualities that the modern "real man" looked for in a woman which was quite extensive. Another list of things that an older "real man" looked for in a woman was much more terse:

Big boobs, trust fund.
RuthP
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 6:35:14 PM

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Geeman wrote:
"Attractive" is so subjective.... Does that mean physically attractive? If so, the concept of "beauty" often varies too much for even that to be very useful. When it comes to what is "attractive" in women, I think there's a range of things that one would have to talk about. Physical beauty, intelligence, education, personality, character, etc.

I read recently that "kindness" is a personality trait that tends to accompany successful breeding pairs in humans. It's not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of "attractive" but it seems to be one of those things that really is more of a factor than we probably give credit.

I'm reminded of a joke that was in a very popular (read: fad) book many years ago: Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. If I remember correctly, it had a list of qualities that the modern "real man" looked for in a woman which was quite extensive. Another list of things that an older "real man" looked for in a woman was much more terse:

Big boobs, trust fund. Emphasis mine, Ruth

*Snort*, trust Geeman to get down to basics. The flip side, of course, is women looking for a suitable man: advanced age, large estate. Whistle
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 7:28:16 PM

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Kind and empathetic people with natural smile, intelligence and humour, and positive attitude
usually attract other people.
Tovarish
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 8:04:37 PM
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Down here the Aussie males ideal woman is a nymphomaniac, whos Dad owns a Pub.
excaelis
Posted: Monday, March 19, 2012 9:26:40 PM

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dev_sircar wrote:
Mansoor Nasir wrote:
It is said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But still, I think, there are certain things that make something attractive to all. For example, roses are loved and liked by all. But why it is so that the woman whom I love to gaze at for hours does not appeal to your eyes. It may be that her eyes that are to me like diamonds are to you just two big balls rotating in a deep well. Then there is Shakespeare to confuse me more: there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so. There can never be any hard and fast rule to define or measure beauty. It is no doubt a relative term. But what I feel ,and I believe that most of the people will agree with me,is that a woman's beauty lies in her femininity and effeminacy. The more 'hidden' she is the more attractive and charming she looks. Modesty is her real jewellery; boldness makes her ugly. Manly and macho type women to me always look disgusting, unattractive and unfriendly. I do not mean to say that woman should always be docile and submissive. But she should never be a man because God has not intended her to be so.That is why He made her delicate. Delicacy is, in fact, effeminacy. Delicacy in her manners, in her gestures, in her dress, in her voice.


I suggest you read Giovanni Boccaccio's "The Decameron" and believe all your doubts would be addressed.
You have attributed the quote,"there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so"; to Shakespeare. I thought it was Oscar Wilde.

Boo hoo!




HAMLET
Denmark's a prison.

ROSENCRANTZ
Then is the world one.

HAMLET
A goodly one; in which there are many confines,
wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.

ROSENCRANTZ
We think not so, my lord.

HAMLET
Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing
either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me
it is a prison.

ROSENCRANTZ
Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too
narrow for your mind.

WS Hamlet 2.2.
Karate Gal
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 6:50:36 AM
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percivalpecksniff wrote:
Epi you are so right when you said: Genes, Mind, and Culture.



It is such a joy when they come together at such a high standard... I am glad you spotted that. Thank you for your encouragement.


My thoughts on an ideal woman, as opposed to Algernon's, are thus:

A free mind...good humour...non-combative, but strong on views... a good caring and kind heart...keen intelligence and, if possible, a great figure to die for.



What's wrong with being combative? Dancing
percivalpecksniff
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 7:28:53 AM
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Karate Gal you asked: What's wrong with being combative?


Nothing of course, in moderation. I was thinking of person having it as a trait where everything has to be fought over... mentally that is. I like peace and easy agreement, where both are willing to give way for the other. You will note I am not against strong views being held.
Karate Gal
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 9:06:09 AM
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I wasn't being totally serious, Percival I just felt I had to strike a blow for combativeness, as it were. Angel My personal philosophy is that if you know you can fight (and win), you feel less of a need to do it. And I don't mean that (only) physically ...

almostfreebird
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 9:42:44 AM
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Alias
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 10:04:24 AM
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Hmmmm let me see now what makes a woman attractive?...Beauty? or a pint of gin?
Are we talking about attractive in a sexual way?......Pheremones? Curvacious (child bearing) hips, mammalian protuberances of sufficient proportion as to inspire a feeding frenzy? ......
and while we are discussing it, the obvious question arises:
" Attractive to whom...?" Attractive to a man? Attractive to a woman?...Attractive to a ..." younger man"? an "Older man" ....or woman..?


Lets turn this on its head and see what floats to the surface...

What makes a fella attractive........? shall I start another post? Or will it suffice as an extension of this one? What say you?

tootsie
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 3:49:00 PM

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well said Tov & Alias

:-)

Cass
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 5:50:00 PM
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I'm going to take you up on that, Alias. Let's see.......well it would help if he looked like Simon Baker, but not necessary. He must have a sense of humour, a kind nature but strong enough to make up his own mind about things. He must be the one you instinctively turn to when you get gobsmacked by life, knowing you'll get the best he's got to see you through. He doesn't necessarily have to be highly educated although he must be able to read and to like reading. Handy about the house, definitely. A sucker for animals and kids. Willing to share the remote. In no way can he be a slob. Oh, and if he can cook I can forgive a lot!
Tovarish
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 8:50:38 PM
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Oh Simon Baker, yummmm.

That's right, he's an Aussie, well I'll be!

We have very similar taste Cass, (I won't tell if you don't, we are too old for him! maybe we could be cougars).

Opposites attract!, so I have a penchant for tall, blue eyed blonds, just like my husband of 41 years.
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, March 20, 2012 9:16:23 PM

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Share the remote, eh...
dev_sircar
Posted: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 2:26:21 PM

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excaelis wrote:
dev_sircar wrote:
Mansoor Nasir wrote:
It is said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But still, I think, there are certain things that make something attractive to all. For example, roses are loved and liked by all. But why it is so that the woman whom I love to gaze at for hours does not appeal to your eyes. It may be that her eyes that are to me like diamonds are to you just two big balls rotating in a deep well. Then there is Shakespeare to confuse me more: there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so. There can never be any hard and fast rule to define or measure beauty. It is no doubt a relative term. But what I feel ,and I believe that most of the people will agree with me,is that a woman's beauty lies in her femininity and effeminacy. The more 'hidden' she is the more attractive and charming she looks. Modesty is her real jewellery; boldness makes her ugly. Manly and macho type women to me always look disgusting, unattractive and unfriendly. I do not mean to say that woman should always be docile and submissive. But she should never be a man because God has not intended her to be so.That is why He made her delicate. Delicacy is, in fact, effeminacy. Delicacy in her manners, in her gestures, in her dress, in her voice.


I suggest you read Giovanni Boccaccio's "The Decameron" and believe all your doubts would be addressed.
You have attributed the quote,"there is nothing good or bad; our thinking makes it so"; to Shakespeare. I thought it was Oscar Wilde.

Boo hoo!




HAMLET
Denmark's a prison.

ROSENCRANTZ
Then is the world one.

HAMLET
A goodly one; in which there are many confines,
wards and dungeons, Denmark being one o' the worst.

ROSENCRANTZ
We think not so, my lord.

HAMLET
Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing
either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me
it is a prison.

ROSENCRANTZ
Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too
narrow for your mind.

WS Hamlet 2.2.


Boccaccio’s ‘The Decameron’ may appear to a casual reader to be essentially a collection of amorous stories with overtones of sex; quite a number of which describe amours; but, in essence, as Boccaccio himself has written, he was greatly attracted to their beauty, which is suffused with virtues of love, affection, compassion etc.
dev_sircar
etrusca
Posted: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 5:22:47 PM
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I don't know what makes a woman attractive, I'm a woman. But I know for sure what makes a forum attractive. It is people like you all.
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, April 3, 2012 8:46:07 PM

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Grazie, etrusca. Graciousness is a very attractive quality.
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