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She walked down the hallway towards the teacher's room Options
Nikitus
Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2021 11:10:40 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 413
Neurons: 2,048
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Hello.

First of all, thanks for all your help and time.

I want to ask if the following sentences are grammatically correct?

"She walked down the hallway towards the teacher's room. Suddenly she met her colleague Chad an idealistic man, forty-five years old, wearing shadow stripe shirt, blue jeans. She hugged him effusively."


Thanks for your help.
tautophile
Posted: Wednesday, April 28, 2021 11:48:11 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/14/2018
Posts: 1,503
Neurons: 32,892
Your sentences are grammatically correct, but they do not form a good narrative. Here are some questions that need to be answered:

Who is "she"? Is she a teacher? Is she in a school hallway? Why does she "walk"? It might be better to say that "she went" or "strolled" down the hall. Is she headed toward a specific other teacher's room, or is she headed toward the teachers' room or lounge? Who is Chad? Why did she "suddenly" meet him? Is Chad another teacher? (The fact that he is her "colleague" suggests he might be.) Why is it important--if it is important--to mention his age, what he's wearing (his jeans and shirt), and the fact that he is idealistic? Why does she hug him, and why "effusively"? (In my experience, teachers don't often hug one another in school halls where pupils could see them.) Was he coming out of the "teacher's room" or lounge, or was he coming up the hallway from the other direction?
thar
Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2021 12:40:44 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 24,116
Neurons: 97,689
Punctuation is part of grammar so you can't call it correct.

I see no problem with tauto's issues but some vocabulary is wrong.


"She walked down the hallway towards the teacher's room.
This is fine.

Context will tell you which teacher.
Unless you mean the staff room, and then it is the teachers' room.

Suddenly she met her colleague Chad an idealistic man, forty-five years old, wearing shadow stripe shirt, blue jeans.

Punctuation. The whole sentence. Look at your use of commas.



Suddenly she met her colleague Chad, an idealistic man, forty-five years old, wearing shadow stripe shirt, blue jeans.

Suddenly - she is walking down the hallway. If you meet someone, that means they are coming the other way. Not out of a door. So it is not sudden because she would see him coming.

Noun
wearing shirt

Adjective
shadow stripe - what does this mean?

Also, if unhyphenated into a compound it is two adjectives. Do both refer to the shirt, or does one refer to the type of stripes?

List construction
Look at the punctuation of your list of nouns.
These are not adjectives, they are object nouns, so you need punctuation.




She hugged him effusively."

E=ex, coming out.
Infuse = in. Effusive =out.
You talk effusively when your words pour out. You greet someone effusively. Some volcanoes erupt effusively. But you can't hug someone effusively. If sounds odd to me. Because a hug is wrapping yourself around someone. You don't have anything described here that is coming out of her. You need an emotion to be the thing gushing from her, not the physical action of a hug.

1. Unrestrained or excessive in emotional expression; gushy:
an effusive manner. 2. Profuse; overflowing: effusive praise.



Yes, it's odd to hug someone in that situation but that is your story. You can get them to hug if you want!




hedy mmm
Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2021 1:46:24 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 1,454
Neurons: 701,887
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
Hola Nikitus,

I see my colleagues have given very good suggestions...
These are my 2¢...


Your sentence reads:
"She walked down the hallway towards the teacher's room. Suddenly she met her colleague Chad an idealistic man, forty-five years old,
wearing shadow stripe shirt, blue jeans. She hugged him effusively."

Minor corrections:
"She walked down the hallway towards the teachers’ room. Suddenly she met a colleague Chad an idealistic man, forty-five years old,
wearing a shadow striped shirt and blue jeans. She hugged him effusively."

The words in red were either missing [a, and], change [her colleague to a colleague] or were incorrect [teachers’, striped]
‘The teacher’s room’ is incorrect...it’s either ‘the teachers room’ or ‘the teachers’ room’...

Using words like “idealistic” or “effusively” can sound a bit pretentious...and the name of the woman is not mentioned, seems a bit odd...so in my sentence I called her Mary!

My suggested sentence:
“Mary walked down the hall towards the teachers’ room and met a colleague Chad an idealistic man of 45.
He was wearing a shadow striped shirt and blue jeans...she greeted him with a big hug.”

BTW my friend thar, to answer your question, a shadow striped shirt has stripes that look like shadows ha ha Ha ...there are at least 20 different kinds of stripes...Chad was a show off who didn’t know how to dress, but thought he did!


hedy mmm...
Dancing
Wilmar (USA) 1M
Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2021 7:37:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/4/2015
Posts: 5,937
Neurons: 1,307,800
Location: Vinton, Iowa, United States
I also have $0.02.

I like hedy mmm's sentences, and would like to add 2 more commas.


“Mary walked down the hall towards the teachers’ room and met a colleague, Chad, an idealistic man of 45."

hedy mmm
Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2021 3:55:43 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 1,454
Neurons: 701,887
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
Wilmar (USA) 1M wrote:
I like hedy mmm's sentences, and would like to add 2 more commas.
“Mary walked down the hall towards the teachers’ room and met a colleague, Chad, an idealistic man of 45."

——————————-
Hi [b]Wilmar (USA) 1M,

Woof! Woof! Woof, You wrote my name correctly...Yikes!! Thank you...the TFD Betíse, haven’t been able to get that right!

Nikitus needs the best help from each of us...that’s what’s important! Dancing

hedy mmm
Dancing
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Thursday, April 29, 2021 4:08:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 2,560
Neurons: 16,268
Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
Just want to say nice to see you back hedy mmm.
hedy mmm
Posted: Monday, May 3, 2021 12:16:04 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/29/2014
Posts: 1,454
Neurons: 701,887
Location: Borough of Bronx, New York, United States
Sarrriesfan wrote:
Just want to say nice to see you back hedy mmm.

————-
Thank you SarrriesfanDancing

The pleasure is mine! Dancing I’ve gotten quite a few PM’s welcoming me back...

I’ll be writing my 🤷🏻‍♀️“Did You Know?” & 🍎 “Healthy SERIES” ...periodically
& adding 2 more 😇 “Laugh or Ponder” & 🗝 “Words of Wisdom?” SERIES...

They will ALL be in the English Grammar category

Just for fun (and when I have time!)...life is hard enoughd'oh! ...and Laughter is the Best Medicine!

Hope you check them out!

hedy mmm



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