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cars passing from a water-filled hole Options
alpacinoutd
Posted: Thursday, October 22, 2020 7:27:43 PM
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Joined: 10/18/2020
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Hello all.

I'm trying to describe a situation where it has rained and the holes in the streets are full of water as a result of raining.
Then cars pass and splash water and make a sound.

It had rained all afternoon. He could hear the sound of passing cars splashing water over the street.

Obviously, there must be a better way to express this.
Romany
Posted: Thursday, October 22, 2020 8:26:44 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 17,937
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Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom

Do you know, I don't know that there is actually a word - at least in common usage - which specifically denotes that noise.

Beside which, it differs on different road surfaces, and even in the type of rain! (The noise made by polite, persistent English rain by traffic is almost like white noise; while the noise made after a monsoon deluge English is loud and a little bit raucous.)

I think this is a situation where people tend to use onomatopoeic words like "Swooshing" "Swishing" or stronger ones like 'drubbing', 'smacking' & "thumping" (am thinking particularly of cars sending up plumes of water onto wooden buildings).

But I don't think you can do anything other than try to describe the sound as YOU hear it.


FounDit
Posted: Thursday, October 22, 2020 11:21:51 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,643
Neurons: 69,802
alpacinoutd wrote:
Hello all.

I'm trying to describe a situation where it has rained and the holes in the streets are full of water as a result of raining.
Then cars pass and splash water and make a sound.

It had rained all afternoon. He could hear the sound of passing cars splashing water over the street.

Obviously, there must be a better way to express this.


It is a difficult scene to describe with anything more than simple words, like splashing, or gushing. However, you could paint a bit of a picture even with that.

It had rained all afternoon. He could hear the sound of passing cars, their tires (tyres-BrE) splashing geysers of water out of the potholes in the street whenever they hit them.
sureshot
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 6:46:13 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2015
Posts: 2,758
Neurons: 453,979
alpacinoutd wrote:
Hello all.

I'm trying to describe a situation where it has rained and the holes in the streets are full of water as a result of raining.
Then cars pass and splash water and make a sound.

It had rained all afternoon. He could hear the sound of passing cars splashing water over the street.

Obviously, there must be a better way to express this.

___________________

Here are two sentences from Oxford Dictionary:

- The floor around us was covered with several inches of water that splashed under the truck's wheels.
- ‘She saw the cars hurtle past carelessly, the rubber wheels splashing in the wide puddles.’

It shows that the use of verb "splash" is acceptable. However, you may like to modify the sentence. A variation is:

- It had rained all afternoon. The potholes in the road were full of water. He could hear passing cars splashing water under over the cars' wheels.
alpacinoutd
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 9:27:41 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/18/2020
Posts: 47
Neurons: 256
Thanks folks.

Does this work?

It had rained all afternoon. A car swooshed past a puddle, splashing water on him. He was drenched to skin.
FounDit
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 11:43:36 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,643
Neurons: 69,802
alpacinoutd wrote:
Thanks folks.

Does this work?

It had rained all afternoon. A car swooshed past a puddle, splashing water on him. He was drenched to skin.


I don't think that works well. Water makes a swooshing sound, but not cars. Also, swooshing past a puddle would indicate the car missed the puddle.

Using my previous sentence, I would say, "A car passed close by, drenching him with a geyser of water and soaking him to his skin."
alpacinoutd
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 12:10:50 PM
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Joined: 10/18/2020
Posts: 47
Neurons: 256
I found an example with swoosh and cars in Oxford dictionary and I thought it might work here:

https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/swoosh_1

FounDit wrote:


I don't think that works well. Water makes a swooshing sound, but not cars. Also, swooshing past a puddle would indicate the car missed the puddle.

Using my previous sentence, I would say, "A car passed close by, drenching him with a geyser of water and soaking him to his skin."
Romany
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 1:48:43 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 17,937
Neurons: 58,266
Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom

As I mentioned in the other thread, it depends on what register you're using.

I'd find your sentence worked fine if I came across it anywhere: - each person has their own lexicon. In other word, the way they use words and the words they use. The way a sentence/paragraph/book is written might not be anything like the way another person would write it. Some people would never dream of using words others use; nor in the way others use them.

So, when wanting to write English better (which is a life-long process!!) you can't worry about personal opinions: we all differ. What's important is whether it or the way it's used incorrect, redundant or confusing. Once you know its correct its up to you: it's a viable option... do you like the way it sounds? Does actually saying the word sound good? Do you think it sounds silly? Does it express what you mean? It's up to you what words enter your personal lexicon.

BUT...remember what I said the very first time about descriptive writing? You've got to narrow down your focus so you know exactly what you're describing?

Again you have started off with a query that gradually changes.

"I'm trying to describe a situation where it has rained and the holes in the streets are full of water as a result of raining.
Then cars pass and splash water and make a sound." You were looking for a word for a sound.

Now you're describing a completely a completely different situation: one in which you yourself are on the street and getting drenched with water?

Whatever was in your mind that resulted in your original sentence seems to have changed, so am unsure of what exactly you are now wanting us to answer? (Hey, it's TGIF night. That's my excuse, anyway!Dancing )
FounDit
Posted: Friday, October 23, 2020 2:03:43 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,643
Neurons: 69,802
Romany is correct. Individual writers will choose different words according to the idea they want to present.

I would suggest that you create a picture in your mind of what you want to describe, then pause over each element, try to think of words that would describe what each part is LIKE, using similes or describing them as metaphors as I did with the word "geyser".

Much of it just takes practice, reading a lot of stories, and having a good vocabulary and perhaps a thesaurus.
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