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As a contract killer... Options
Amybal
Posted: Tuesday, October 20, 2020 5:54:12 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,283
Neurons: 6,614
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
As a contract killer investigates a kidnapping related to him in Thailand, he finds himself pursued by a man whose brother he has killed.

Long summary
Contract killer In-nam, who has recently completed his final contract, flies to Thailand to investigate a shocking kidnapping case as he believes the victim is his next of kin. There, he teams up with Yui to locate and rescue the kidnapped child. At the same time, he will have to prevent himself from being killed by Ray, a man whose brother he has assassinated and is now looking for revenge.
FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, October 20, 2020 10:42:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,641
Neurons: 69,796
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?
Very good. Perhaps a comma or two.
Short summary
As a contract killer investigates a kidnapping related to him in Thailand, he finds himself pursued by a man whose brother he has killed.

Long summary
Contract killer In-nam, who has recently completed his final contract, flies to Thailand to investigate a shocking kidnapping case, as he believes the victim is his next of kin. There, he teams up with Yui to locate and rescue the kidnapped child. At the same time, he will have to prevent himself from being killed by Ray, a man whose brother he has assassinated, and is now looking for revenge.
KMQ
Posted: Tuesday, October 20, 2020 7:19:40 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 11/27/2017
Posts: 66
Neurons: 731,576
Location: Clearwater, Florida, United States
FounDit wrote:
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?
Very good. Perhaps a comma or two.
Short summary
As a contract killer investigates a kidnapping related to him in Thailand, he finds himself pursued by a man whose brother he has killed.

Long summary
Contract killer In-nam, who has recently completed his final contract, flies to Thailand to investigate a shocking kidnapping case, as he believes the victim is his next of kin. There, he teams up with Yui to locate and rescue the kidnapped child. At the same time, he will have to prevent himself from being killed by Ray, a man whose brother he has assassinated, and is now looking for revenge.


Well done, indeed!!
Amybal
Posted: Wednesday, October 21, 2020 10:19:16 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,283
Neurons: 6,614
Thank you FounDit and KMQ.
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