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After being bewitched... Options
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, October 15, 2020 6:09:17 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,283
Neurons: 6,614
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
After being bewitched by a resentful spirit, the great Monkey King travels back in time to find out what happened.

Long summary
Monkey King is bewitched and harmed by an evil spirit, who is none other than goddess Lucky Star in it’s previous life, whom Monkey King knows 300 years ago. He decides to travel back in time to find out what happened.
KMQ
Posted: Thursday, October 15, 2020 2:48:30 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 11/27/2017
Posts: 69
Neurons: 731,980
Location: Clearwater, Florida, United States
I believe so
FounDit
Posted: Thursday, October 15, 2020 4:14:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,643
Neurons: 69,802
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?
The Long Summary isn't very clear. If I understand it correctly, Monkey King begins to experience significant harm and learns he was bewitched by a goddess(? not a witch?) at some time in the past. He already knows what's happening, so it seems he would want to know when and why it happened.

Short summary
After being bewitched by a resentful spirit, the great Monkey King travels back in time to find out what happened.

Long summary
Monkey King is bewitched and harmed by an evil spirit, who is none other than goddess Lucky Star in it’s previous life, whom Monkey King knows 300 years ago. He decides to travel back in time to find out what happened.
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, October 15, 2020 9:30:39 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,283
Neurons: 6,614
The Long Summary isn't very clear. If I understand it correctly, Monkey King begins to experience significant harm and learns he was bewitched by a goddess(? not a witch?) at some time in the past. He already knows what's happening, so it seems he would want to know when and why it happened.

Yes, that's correct.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Friday, October 16, 2020 1:46:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 312
Neurons: 5,422
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Short summary
After being bewitched by a resentful spirit, the great Monkey King travels back in time to find out what happened.

The short summary seems fine.

Long summary
Monkey King is bewitched and harmed by an evil spirit, who is none other than goddess Lucky Star in it’s previous life, whom Monkey King knows 300 years ago. He decides to travel back in time to find out what happened.

Two errors in long summary:

Monkey King is bewitched and harmed by an evil spirit, who is none other than goddess Lucky Star in its previous life, whom Monkey King knew 300 years ago. He decides to travel back in time to find out what happened.

The inclusion of an apostrophe in the possessive adjective its is a very common mistake, but it's still wrong. (I have just used the apostrophe correctly to mean it is).

The verb tense was also wrong: knows -> knew.
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