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Bob had hoped his first film Options
Boris66
Posted: Saturday, May 23, 2020 1:33:36 PM
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I am not sure if my sentences are correct. Would you please correct my mistakes? I used the verb with "audience" in plural because in BrE it can be used both as singular and plural.

Bob had hoped his first film would be a great success, but it turned out to be a flop. Most critics were scathing, and the audience were unimpressed. It hurt him terribly as he had spent two years on the project, from writing the script to gathering financial support. Bob felt as if all that time and energy were wasted for nothing. He was in doubt whether he would even try to make a film again.
FounDit
Posted: Saturday, May 23, 2020 2:40:26 PM

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Boris66 wrote:
I am not sure if my sentences are correct. Would you please correct my mistakes? I used the verb with "audience" in plural because in BrE it can be used both as singular and plural.
It looks good to me except for the part about time and energy wasted. Adding "for nothing" seems redundant, and really isn't necessary since you just said it was all wasted. That's really all you need to say. To use it, we typically say, "It was all for nothing". You could also say, "Bob felt as if all that time and energy were for nothing", and omit "wasted".

Bob had hoped his first film would be a great success, but it turned out to be a flop. Most critics were scathing, and the audience were unimpressed. It hurt him terribly as he had spent two years on the project, from writing the script to gathering financial support. Bob felt as if all that time and energy were wasted for nothing. He was in doubt whether he would even try to make a film again.
Boris66
Posted: Saturday, May 23, 2020 2:42:49 PM
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FounDit,

Thank you very much for your reply.
Romany
Posted: Sunday, May 24, 2020 6:27:08 AM
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Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom


I don't see problems with "were wasted for nothing."

"Wasting time" might result in one being late for submission; it might result in one getting fired; it could result in one being black-listed. But in this case it had no effect, so it was all wasted for "nothing" - no reason.

These are Bob's "thoughts" - people don't THINK in perfect sentences - it's not part of the actual narrative, but, if you DO want to change it you could not just cut out the two words. It would be re-written as: "Bob felt as if all that time and energy HAD BEEN for nothing." or "Bob felt as if all that time and energy had been wasted."

The last sentence should either be: "He doubted he would even try..." or "He was in doubt about even trying...." (one is always "in doubt" ABOUT something.) In this passage the former would be preferable.

Boris66
Posted: Sunday, May 24, 2020 1:17:00 PM
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Romany,
Thank you very much for your suggestions.
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