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A 14-year-old teenager... Options
Amybal
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2019 3:06:59 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,112
Neurons: 5,763
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
A 14-year-old teenager murders a rich land-lord as a revenge for his brother’s death. Can his father save him from this situation and help him to lead a normal life?

Long summary
Sivasamy is a small farmer from the lower caste. Narasimhan is a rich landlord from the upper caste who is plotting to grab Sivasamy's three-acre land, to build a cement factory. When Narasimhan kills Murugan- the elder son of Sivasamy, Chidambaram kills Narasimhan to avenge his brother. Will Sivasamy, a loving father and a pacifist by heart, be able to save his hot-blooded son?


FounDit
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2019 11:50:00 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,069
Neurons: 67,008
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?
You can omit the hyphen in the first "landlord", and I would omit two small words, "a" and "to". They aren't necessary. Very good.

Short summary
A 14-year-old teenager murders a rich landlord as revenge for his brother’s death. Can his father save him from this situation and help him lead a normal life?

Long summary
Sivasamy is a small farmer from the lower caste. Narasimhan is a rich landlord from the upper caste who is plotting to grab Sivasamy's three-acre land, to build a cement factory. When Narasimhan kills Murugan- the elder son of Sivasamy, Chidambaram kills Narasimhan to avenge his brother. Will Sivasamy, a loving father and a pacifist by heart, be able to save his hot-blooded son?


thar
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2019 12:28:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 22,437
Neurons: 90,917
:A fourteen-year old teenager: is redundant.

You can be vague:
A teenager

Or precise:
A fourteen-year-old

But you don't use both - a boy who is fourteen is by definition a teenager, so there is no point in adding that noun.
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, December 12, 2019 2:11:11 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,112
Neurons: 5,763
Thank you, FounDit and thar Drool

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