The Free Dictionary  
mailing list For webmasters
Welcome Guest Forum Search | Active Topics | Members

A skilled cop must... Options
Amybal
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2019 3:06:00 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,112
Neurons: 5,763
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
A skilled cop must race against time to solve the dark mystery behind two twin sisters who are trapped at an abandoned house.

Long summary
Skilled cop Inspector Nuar discovers twins, Balqis and Qistina, mysteriously locked up in an abandoned house. He suddenly starts suffering a series of unexplained hauntings, and individuals linked to the case begin dying one by one. Nuar must now race against time to solve the dark mystery behind the two girls before it is too late.

FounDit
Posted: Wednesday, December 11, 2019 11:54:13 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 14,069
Neurons: 67,008
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?
Very good, but I suggest:

Short summary
A skilled cop must race against time to solve the dark mystery behind two twin sisters who are trapped at an abandoned house.

Long summary
Skilled cop, Inspector Nuar, discovers twins, Balqis and Qistina, mysteriously locked up in an abandoned house. He suddenly begins to suffer a series of unexplained hauntings, and individuals linked to the case begin dying one by one. Nuar must now race against time to solve the dark mystery behind the two girls before it is too late.

Users browsing this topic
Guest


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.