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Could someone look at it? Options
genegrin
Posted: Tuesday, October 4, 2011 7:51:03 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 31
Neurons: 116
Hello,
I'd be thankful to the person who's a native speaker of English. And who can look at my article.
I'm not asking to edit my piece, no. I just want to know if it sounds not terribly.
Please let me know if someone agrees to spend a few minutes on reading of it. I've not added my article link here because i'm not sure if it's allowed to do here.
I can post the whole article or its link if it won't break the rule.
Thanks.
Marissa La Faye Isolde
Posted: Tuesday, October 4, 2011 11:07:26 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/10/2009
Posts: 1,647
Neurons: 4,678
Where is your article?
Ravindra
Posted: Wednesday, October 5, 2011 8:33:12 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2009
Posts: 733
Neurons: 63,152
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Dear, first serve the dish onto the plate.

“Absence doth sharpen love, presence strengthens it; the one brings fuel, the other blows it till it burns clear.”
- William Shakespeare




genegrin
Posted: Wednesday, October 5, 2011 9:03:26 AM

Rank: Member

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 31
Neurons: 116
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, October 5, 2011 4:40:51 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 34,223
Neurons: 225,152
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Hello genegrin.

A general comment on the "sound" of the article is: (for me) the use of the Latin names breaks the flow of the prose a little too much.

Otherwise I was "caught" enough to read the whole article out of interest. Applause

I particularly liked the part about old fakes becoming more expensive than the real thing.

A comment on grammar:
" Of course, most the talk is about uncommon, rare species." is not quite right somehow, it would be better:
"Of course, mostly the talk is about uncommon, rare species." or
"Of course, the talk is mostly about uncommon, rare species." or
"Of course, most of the talk is about uncommon, rare species."
genegrin
Posted: Wednesday, October 5, 2011 6:08:18 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 8/17/2010
Posts: 31
Neurons: 116
Hello Drag0nspeaker,
Thank you very much for your article checking. I've changed that sentence you had pointed out. It’s very important to me.
jmacann
Posted: Wednesday, October 5, 2011 7:34:05 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/20/2011
Posts: 1,296
Neurons: 3,887
Location: Spain
Fine.
---
..."like to go ahead with such an eccentric and expensive purchase, and write your name in the history of seashell collecting".
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