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Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, August 17, 2021 11:54:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,579
Neurons: 247,717
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - What's the difference between a live person and a robot?

A - It's all a matter of context.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Wednesday, August 18, 2021 6:32:17 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Drag0n, why did you tell them you're 25 and your real name is Jennifer?


A- Nobody else will ever know the truth.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Friday, August 20, 2021 12:28:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 492
Neurons: 6,686
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: My grandmother is a snow leopard; but can you please keep that to yourself?

A: It all depends what you mean by 'reusable'.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, August 20, 2021 11:00:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Bob's close friends affirm he's quite reusable: would you affirm the same?


A- She burst into laughter during the funeral.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Friday, August 20, 2021 6:11:21 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 492
Neurons: 6,686
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: What did she do when you pointed out that there was more than one way of saying 'Amen'?

A: I used to think it was utter rubbish, but now I'm not so sure.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Friday, August 20, 2021 8:13:38 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 45,911
Neurons: 654,811
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Q: What do you think about rebirth?

A: My dad was one of them.
Robert Kane
Posted: Friday, August 20, 2021 10:40:01 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2021
Posts: 215
Neurons: 128,207
Location: San Jose, California, United States
I think drag queens are so funny, wouldn’t you agree?


No one knows who I really am.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, August 21, 2021 1:32:15 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- I've never seen anyone like you: what planet are you from?


A- My father of heart and my male genitor are two different people.
Robert Kane
Posted: Saturday, August 21, 2021 8:01:56 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2021
Posts: 215
Neurons: 128,207
Location: San Jose, California, United States
Q. If someone has more than one mother or more than one father, does anyone else wonder, as I do, if they prefer one parent over another?


A. My favorite trees, here in Northern California, are the redwoods.
Hope123
Posted: Sunday, August 22, 2021 9:52:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 10,253
Neurons: 58,504
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
What are your favourite California trees?

Humans are learning how smart animals really are.

anton-Юрий
Posted: Sunday, August 22, 2021 2:42:06 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- What is the dominant species on your planet doing?


A- She looks much younger on Facebook.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Sunday, August 22, 2021 5:06:03 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 45,911
Neurons: 654,811
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Q: Can you figure out how old that beggar sitting on the street corner really is?

A: I had a beer this evening.
Robert Kane
Posted: Sunday, August 22, 2021 9:16:21 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2021
Posts: 215
Neurons: 128,207
Location: San Jose, California, United States
What would your ideal dinner consist of?


My friend went to 7-11 last night to buy some milk and Elvis was waiting in line ahead of her.
cythuman
Posted: Monday, August 23, 2021 4:07:45 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 382
Neurons: 402,209
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Handbook for the Successful Investigator, Lesson 3: How credible do you find the following statement?


I actually wrote the handbook to persuade prospective clients that I was a competent detective.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2021 9:53:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Why do they call you "The New Sherlock"?


A- She's an abomination!
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2021 11:24:44 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 45,911
Neurons: 654,811
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Q: Did you sense that smell?

A: I once spent the whole summer fishing.
Robert Kane
Posted: Tuesday, August 24, 2021 9:49:22 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2021
Posts: 215
Neurons: 128,207
Location: San Jose, California, United States
What do you think people would do if they had more time?


I love cartoons that make inanimate objects come to life.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Wednesday, August 25, 2021 9:32:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Why are you called "Death In Reverse"?


A- She's so toxic we call her "Chernobyl".
Robert Kane
Posted: Wednesday, August 25, 2021 8:55:34 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2021
Posts: 215
Neurons: 128,207
Location: San Jose, California, United States
What do you think of your brother’s new wife?


I wish I had some home made bread pudding right now.
cythuman
Posted: Thursday, August 26, 2021 11:40:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 382
Neurons: 402,209
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: This is our chef's selection of rare oriental delights – doesn't it make your mouth water?


A: It was an extraordinary culinary surprise, to put it politely.
Robert Kane
Posted: Thursday, August 26, 2021 6:07:19 PM

Rank: Member

Joined: 3/26/2021
Posts: 215
Neurons: 128,207
Location: San Jose, California, United States
Have you ever eaten at Burger King?


I really hope I will get to spend eternity with all my dogs.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, August 27, 2021 5:47:47 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- I'm about to shoot you: what is your last wish?


A- She badly needs a nose job.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, August 29, 2021 12:30:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,579
Neurons: 247,717
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - So, what do you think of Cleopatra, Obelyx?

A - Overrated, I'd say.
cythuman
Posted: Wednesday, September 8, 2021 10:51:39 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 382
Neurons: 402,209
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: So what's your verdict of that four-star hotel overlooking the yacht harbor?


A: I told you to make sure to arrive on time!
anton-Юрий
Posted: Thursday, September 9, 2021 1:25:22 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Hey! I was only one hour late! Why didn't you wait for me?


A- Jennifer VI.
cythuman
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2021 2:55:51 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 382
Neurons: 402,209
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: How can you keep track of all your girlfriends? Who's your current one anyway?


A: I'll do it when the weather gets better.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2021 1:01:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- You're my hitman, why don't you kill the guy I told you about?


A- It's hard to explain...
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Tuesday, September 21, 2021 11:37:36 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 492
Neurons: 6,686
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Why on earth are you filling that accordion with flour?

A: She said she'd only be five minutes.
cythuman
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2021 8:07:52 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 382
Neurons: 402,209
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: Shouldn't we start looking for a shelter before it's completely dark?


A: Just the odd hungry grizzly bear.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Wednesday, September 29, 2021 12:11:02 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- What does your esthetician think you look like each time she gives you a cookie just before a hair removal session?


A- The lesser I see him, the more I appreciate him.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, October 1, 2021 12:13:21 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,579
Neurons: 247,717
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q - How's it going with your personal trainer?

A - Fifty push-ups then on to the hard stuff.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, October 2, 2021 6:08:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- So what did my sister and you do at the gym yesterday evening?


A- I want William to be the next king, not that... Charles.
Janet Brien
Posted: Sunday, October 10, 2021 7:16:40 PM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 9/25/2021
Posts: 362
Neurons: 12,370
Location: Medford, Oregon, United States
Q: Why are you so fixated on English royalty lately?

A: I found it under the chair.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, October 11, 2021 7:25:27 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 22,327
Neurons: 72,946
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- My goodness, I'm so relieved you found my anamorphic kaleidoscope back... Where did you find it?


A- Because I'm very superstitious.
Janet Brien
Posted: Tuesday, October 12, 2021 1:10:48 AM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 9/25/2021
Posts: 362
Neurons: 12,370
Location: Medford, Oregon, United States
Q: Explain to me why you won't step on cracks?

A: She told me to cross my heart and hope to die!
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