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Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2021 1:13:37 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,946
Neurons: 101,347
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Now that Trump will be leaving the Presidency, are you going to invest in his new real estate projects?


Not impossible at all, but I'd say most unlikely.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, January 11, 2021 6:35:25 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Will you marry my 79-year-old daughter?


A- I knew something was wrong with her when she affirmed she could fly.
cythuman
Posted: Tuesday, January 12, 2021 6:45:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 338,569
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: I heard your girlfriend fell off the Eiffel Tower – how could such a terrible thing happen?


A: He did, but only once or twice.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Wednesday, January 13, 2021 6:45:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Did your father ever make meringues?


A: Blue or red — definitely not yellow.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Thursday, January 14, 2021 8:10:14 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- I can easily tell whether you're beatlophobic or not: what's your favourite submarine colour?


A- The world looked bigger then.
cythuman
Posted: Friday, January 15, 2021 6:03:00 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 338,569
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: What was so special about travelling around the world in 80 days?


A: Over 4 billion tons of matter are converted to energy, each second.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, January 15, 2021 11:39:02 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- The sun is scorching this afternoon, what's going on up there?


A- I suggest you contact the President-elect's team instead.
cythuman
Posted: Saturday, January 16, 2021 1:28:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 338,569
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: Do you think the First Lady wants to have her roses trimmed one more time?


A: Starting to go a bit crazy now.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, January 16, 2021 11:36:05 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Have all those partying people swallowed their ecstasy pills?


A- I enjoy turning unpleasant stuff into blessings.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, January 20, 2021 9:34:13 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q- How can you be so happy with all this going on?

A- It's all in your imagination, anyway.
cythuman
Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2021 12:29:17 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 338,569
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: Do you think it's normal to feel hungry after three weeks of fasting?


A: I've never tried that and I don't think I will.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Friday, January 22, 2021 6:21:12 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Do you want to share my breakfast of eggs poached in honey with chocolate sprinkles?

A: That seems like a very long time ago.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, January 22, 2021 8:14:03 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- This is a photograph of me with no wrinkles: what's your impression?


A- I suppose I must take that as a compliment...
Hope123
Posted: Friday, January 22, 2021 8:53:21 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 10,088
Neurons: 57,539
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Why do you look so great today?

I am confused.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, January 22, 2021 8:19:39 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q - What's that strange look on your face for?

A - It's six days since I went.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Tuesday, January 26, 2021 4:21:00 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Why do you think you need to rest today?


A- Nobody rolls their eyes better than her.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Wednesday, January 27, 2021 6:49:41 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: My wife and I are having an eye-rolling contest: who do you think will win?

A: As always, it all comes down to that one thing.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, January 29, 2021 2:49:51 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Last night, I wanted to have a serious conversation with Jennifer but she kept asking me about bananas. Can you believe that?


A- No, I haven't for years.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, January 29, 2021 7:31:16 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q- Have you tried a banana split recently?

A- My legs are too stiff.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, January 30, 2021 3:19:19 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Yesterday, you could land a perfect quadruple lutz and now you can't? What's the matter with you?




A- When I said "secret garden", I did not mean it literally *sighs*
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Saturday, January 30, 2021 4:02:27 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,946
Neurons: 101,347
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Why do you keep sighing? It seems so sarcastic


And mind you, he was aware that typing in capitals is like SHOUTING in online chats
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, January 30, 2021 4:31:55 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- WHY DID HE TYPE IN CAPS? WHAT DID THAT MEAN?


A- She's a big fan of the "law of attraction" yet she complains about her attracting what she is.
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, February 6, 2021 11:15:13 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 10,088
Neurons: 57,539
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Why does she think opposites attract?

The coffee machine splatters coffee when pods are used.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, February 6, 2021 12:59:19 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- It's my very first day in this company, what's the main trap here?


A- Yes, I know him well and his name is Satan.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Saturday, February 6, 2021 4:59:41 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: I'm thinking of buying this beautiful cat. Are you familiar with him?


A: Yes, eventually.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Saturday, February 6, 2021 7:35:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Good! You married my wayward sister at last! Can I call you my brother-in-law from now on?


A- Oh my God! I've just stepped into a canine dejection indeed!
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Sunday, February 7, 2021 2:43:30 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,946
Neurons: 101,347
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: Even the pooches are turning their heads away from you, Anton?



A: I guess she was looking at wrong page in the calendar.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Sunday, February 7, 2021 8:26:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Jennifer told me she saw me in her nude calendar but she can't understand why I look taller there: how can that be explained?


A- You and your hasty generalizations... *siiiiighs*
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Tuesday, February 9, 2021 7:08:38 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Everyone in France eats frog legs, don't they?


A: It took me two weeks to write it all down.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Wednesday, February 10, 2021 9:12:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,946
Neurons: 101,347
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: Are you done with your research report on the love life of butterflies?


A: Well even for that you'd need an umbrella.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Wednesday, February 10, 2021 2:25:39 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Alright, you sell umbrellas. But, tell me, why are you telling me I'd need one whenever I cook?


A- I wait no matter what.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Wednesday, February 10, 2021 7:11:30 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: This train station was permanently closed last week; didn't you read the sign?


A: No, no, for God's sake, don't eat those!
cythuman
Posted: Thursday, February 11, 2021 6:59:26 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 338,569
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: Don't you think these red mushrooms look delicious?


A: It's one of those things you can only do once.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Thursday, February 11, 2021 6:35:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: For goodness' sake, why don't you grow up?


A: I am absolutely amazed.
cythuman
Posted: Saturday, February 13, 2021 6:36:41 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 338,569
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: This morning I managed to recite Shakespeare's 18th Sonnet, backwards, in Japanese, while standing on my head in a bucket. What do you say?


A: This goes to prove that you have finally grown up.
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