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anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, November 9, 2020 4:56:24 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
A - It's the tone of voice, I suppose.



Q- Why does she pout each time she hears me?


A- Only fools never change their minds.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Monday, November 9, 2020 11:36:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: She keeps changing her mind — is she wise or foolish?


A: Well, then, that seems to be the end of that.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, November 13, 2020 6:56:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- I can just see this, this and this: what's going on?


A- Jeez, you're the reincarnation of Jesus Christ!
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Monday, November 16, 2020 4:20:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Have you tasted my famous bread and fish pudding?


A: I am absolutely exhausted.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 4:56:01 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Why do you reply you're absolutely exhausted as answer to anything you're asked?


A- I've had much less tolerance to people's incoherence since last spring.
cythuman
Posted: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 5:56:04 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 339,022
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: Have you noticed that you seem to lose your patience rather quickly these days?


A: Running out of toilet paper.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Tuesday, November 17, 2020 8:56:47 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- You've been staying locked in the bathroom for nearly 2 hours: what's the matter with you?


A- I'm speechless :X
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Wednesday, November 18, 2020 3:07:28 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: What would it most surprise you to hear Donald Trump say?


A: Seven, five, and nineteen.
cythuman
Posted: Thursday, November 19, 2020 2:57:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 339,022
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
Q: You were close to be a lotto millionaire you say! What was the number you missed?


A: Poet, philosopher, adviser... and wicker bottom chair repairer.
(credits to Tony Hancock)
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, November 20, 2020 7:24:53 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- What do you spontaneously think about when I say "Donald Trump"?


A- She looks like the stretched version of her.

https://youtu.be/I4l84GAZrKg
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, November 20, 2020 11:26:06 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q. How would you compare my wife to our daughter?

A. Probably related.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, November 23, 2020 4:27:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- I've brutally lost my sense of smell: could that mean I have Covid19?


A- That's funny as hell!
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2020 1:03:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Have you heard the one about the devil?

A - No-one really knows.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2020 5:10:06 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,946
Neurons: 101,347
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India

Q: In what language did Trump pardon that turkey?


A: Oh maybe all the bedrooms in the White House.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, November 27, 2020 6:26:25 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Where do we have to rid of bedbugs as a priority in Washington, D.C.?


A- Calm down, that's just your reflection in the mirror.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Sunday, November 29, 2020 4:46:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: There's something very, very scary in the bathroom: what could it be?


A: It doesn't have to be that way, you know.
cythuman
Posted: Sunday, November 29, 2020 5:04:02 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/19/2019
Posts: 355
Neurons: 339,022
Location: Strasbourg, Alsace, France
A: Go ahead and throw me to your crocodiles. I will never marry you!


Q: Why would I want to marry you?
anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 9:56:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
cythuman wrote:
A: Go ahead and throw me to your crocodiles. I will never marry you!




Q- Can you promise you aren't going to overeact if I pop the question now?


A- I skipped her messages because they made no sense to me.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 10:16:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q - Didn't you notice she invited you to buy some shares in her amazingly-successful business?

A - Millions, schmillions. Who cares?
anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 3:56:40 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Do you know how much schmoney I made last year?


A- I just wonder who the next Russian President is.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Monday, November 30, 2020 10:13:28 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Do you wonder about the immensity of the universe, the patterns in mathematics, the possibility of life beyond Earth?


A: He just won't do what he's told.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, December 1, 2020 12:50:42 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q. You seem to always vote against the currently sitting leader. What's wrong with this one?

A. His nose is too long.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Thursday, December 3, 2020 8:44:07 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Why is Bob considering plastic surgery?


A- To be honest with you, the act isn't great and the image is... horrendous.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Friday, December 18, 2020 7:21:14 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: Isn't this photo of my dog pooping on the lawn hilarious?

A: I suppose it had to happen sooner or later.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, December 18, 2020 7:40:28 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Did it have to happen sooner or later or did it have to happen later or sooner?


A- Don't say that, there are people listening.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, December 23, 2020 11:49:39 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q - Can I tell you a secret?

A - My lips are sealed - I opened a tube of glue with my teeth.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Wednesday, December 23, 2020 1:20:07 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Why are you writing to me instead of simply talking to me? We're just about 10 inches apart!


A- The more you do, the more you want to do.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Saturday, December 26, 2020 10:20:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - What do you mean, "Work's addictive"?

A - Everyone.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Sunday, December 27, 2020 6:30:52 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Drag0n, you do look like an intriguing person... Who envies you?


A- There is no center in my own universe.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Sunday, January 3, 2021 9:36:40 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q: The centre of my universe is right here: where's yours?


A: I bet they never saw it coming.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, January 3, 2021 11:41:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Why didn't THEY stop this virus thing from happening?

A - Just incompetent.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Monday, January 4, 2021 6:18:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- What did Josh mention at the top of his own resume?


A- My wife looks like her older brother when she doesn't wear makeup.
Clyde of Oz
Posted: Friday, January 8, 2021 4:42:21 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2014
Posts: 442
Neurons: 6,362
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Q - Does your wife look like her younger sister?


A - That makes no sense at all.
anton-Юрий
Posted: Friday, January 8, 2021 5:10:23 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 20,924
Neurons: 69,877
Location: Nogent-le-Rotrou, Centre, France
Q- Do you eat what you know you drink whenever you see what you know to be true somehow?


A- Just don't tell that to my wife.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, January 10, 2021 11:41:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 35,277
Neurons: 241,541
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - What did he say when you explained he could save five pounds by spending forty thousand, today only?

A - Sacre bleu! No!
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