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Your -ing or You -ing? Options
jagh55
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 8:33:15 PM
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Joined: 6/26/2009
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I like you being honest.
I like your being honest.

I can't stand him being so mean.
I can't stand his being so mean.

I appreciate your coming here.
I appreciate you coming here.

They didn't like my being there.
They didn't like me being there.


Are both grammatically okay? If so, is one more formal than the other?(Because I have heard both used in different circumstances)
excaelis
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 9:10:40 PM

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My instinct is that the possessives are correct, but I'm quite willing to be corrected.
Toddey65
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 9:10:54 PM
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Location: United States
jagh55 wrote:
I like you being honest.
I like your being honest.


Both of them are grammatically incorrect, because it currently is nonsensical, "I like you" is grammatically correct. I think what is needed is a conjunction to help it flow. such as "I like it when you are being honest." Which is a compound sentence I believe. But "I like it when your being honest," would not work because your is possessive and you need a new subject for the being honest, sense it is another clause.

jagh55 wrote:

I can't stand him being so mean.
I can't stand his being so mean.


I can't stand him being so mean is grammatically correct, the other one is using a subject pronoun (his) where a direct object should be such as "him" which is telling you what he can't stand. Try to avoid putting subject pronouns after verbs

Also using the conjunction when would help this sentence "I can't stand it when he is being so mean." It changes the sentence a lot but makes it very clear. also you must use he which is a subject pronoun for it then.

jagh55 wrote:

I appreciate your coming here.
I appreciate you coming here.


I appreciate you coming here is grammatically correct because you is the direct object, it follows the verb appreciate. Your is possessive pronoun and makes absolutely no sense as your example shows (see your example...you have possession of the example)

jagh55 wrote:

They didn't like my being there.
They didn't like me being there.


Me is correct because you need a direct object that follows the verb like. My is a subject pronoun is usually at the beginning of the sentence such as they.


Are both grammatically okay? If so, is one more formal than the other?(Because I have heard both used in different circumstances)
[/quote]

Also youing and youring are both incorrect because you is not a verb you cannot us the gerund "-ing" for a subject pronoun, only for verbs, and youring is a possessive pronoun and is not congruous with -ing.
Toddey65
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 9:11:55 PM
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Joined: 10/19/2009
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Neurons: 336
Location: United States
excaelis wrote:
My instinct is that the possessives are correct, but I'm quite willing to be corrected.


The possessives make no sense in his sentences though.
excaelis
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 9:32:13 PM

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Well, what the person likes is the state of being of the other - here, mean, honest, there. As such, the possessive would be apposite. Rewritten you could have:

I like your honesty
I can't stand his meanness
I appreciate your presence
They didn't like my presence

See where I'm going with this ?
Toddey65
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 9:51:12 PM
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Joined: 10/19/2009
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Location: United States
excaelis wrote:
Well, what the person likes is the state of being of the other - here, mean, honest, there. As such, the possessive would be apposite. Rewritten you could have:

I like your honesty
I can't stand his meanness
I appreciate your presence
They didn't like my presence

See where I'm going with this ?


I see but the sentence has to be rewritten, I am just saying possessives don't work with how OP's sentences are structured. But I think rewriting as you do is definitely more succinct.

excaelis
Posted: Friday, February 18, 2011 10:21:03 PM

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Guess we'll have to wait till thar wakes up for the verb sap !
Razumikhin
Posted: Saturday, February 19, 2011 2:38:37 AM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 2/18/2011
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Location: United States
Possessives = formal. Alternatives = informal.

Both are grammatically correct, though the alternatives are kind of awkward and, with enough sound argument, could be said to be grammatically incorrect; but as far as I can tell right now, they're still grammatically correct.

"Being" and "coming" are the direct objects of their respective verbs in each sentence. They are gerunds and therefore nouns, and are therefore capable of acting as direct objects. Everything immediately preceding and following the gerunds "being" and "coming" are simply modifiers and can be removed without affecting the grammatical soundness of the sentences.

Both are grammatically correct. Here are the "cores" of each sentence. The gerunds could be omitted as well, but I've included them anyway since they make my point about their being direct objects clearer. These "cores" are grammatically sound, as are all your original sentences:
1) I like [being].
2) I can't stand [being].
3) I appreciate [coming].
4) They didn't like [being].

Like I said, everything I omitted falls under the category of "modifiers" (possessive pronoun adjectives/adverbs/regular adjectives, etc.), and the gerunds could be omitted as well. I prefer the possessive versions of your sentences.

I understand these "cores" warp the meanings of your original sentences--that's why the words I omitted are called "modifiers".

Food for thought. Peace.
thar
Posted: Saturday, February 19, 2011 3:58:50 AM

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my instinct?
they are both right but mean slightly different things

I like [the fact of] your being honest
= I like the fact that you are being an honest person right now.

I like you being honest
= I like it when you are honest. Either -the assumption being that you are occasionally known to lie, or you have just said something truthful about me I really do not want to hear

this one sounds better with an object
I like you being honest with me.

similar response to the other sentences.
It is either a simple object
I like....your, his...something
I like [the fact of] you, him being something

that is my vote.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Saturday, February 19, 2011 5:21:50 AM

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Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
I have a hunch that your and you're have been muddled here.
Epiphileon
Posted: Saturday, February 19, 2011 6:51:16 AM

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Joined: 3/22/2009
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I think it's a youring test, to see if posters are AIs or not.
thar
Posted: Saturday, February 19, 2011 10:07:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 22,658
Neurons: 91,971
Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote:
I have a hunch that your and you're have been muddled here.


Think you are right.

I appreciate you're coming here................ is completely wrong ('you are coming' -not right)
but
I appreciate your coming....sounds OK to me.
jagh55
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 10:56:22 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/26/2009
Posts: 312
Neurons: 920
Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote:
I have a hunch that your and you're have been muddled here.

No. I know the difference between your and you're.
jagh55
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 11:07:12 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/26/2009
Posts: 312
Neurons: 920
I don't think my question was clear enough as no one seems to understand what I meant. =/ So here's what I did, I searched other forums/sites for similar questions to mine and here's what I found:

http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ask-teacher/17255-appreciate-you-your-taking-time.html

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080513125550AAOZ4qr

http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=190411

So... did that help understand my question?
jagh55
Posted: Wednesday, February 23, 2011 11:14:49 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/26/2009
Posts: 312
Neurons: 920
By the way, I heard "I like your being honest" in an episode of 7th Heaven.
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