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So Limericks are in the forum... Options
GabhSigenod
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 1:38:44 PM

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Location: Mulroog, Connaught, Ireland
Just follow the proper syntax, keeping it squeaky clean.
And let us see your best effort. There are critics everywhere.
GabhSigenod
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 1:43:28 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2010
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Location: Mulroog, Connaught, Ireland
So I'm watching you show your skills
and somehow it gives me the chills
I could use a hot toddy
When I see things quite shoddy
As your work may bring me few thrills
ludic
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 2:06:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/7/2010
Posts: 1,153
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Location: New Delhi, NCT, India
Yay!

A new game always makes me happy Dancing
I hope the critics won't be too snappy Pray
this is my attempt at boloney Drool
the only rhyming phrase now striking me is 'Oh, Me' Brick wall
I hope this wasn't too crappy. Anxious



Applause for me Angel
tootsie
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 2:48:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 6,883
Neurons: 23,730
oops, got so involved, read the next post from me
tootsie
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 3:04:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 6,883
Neurons: 23,730
GabhSigenod wrote:
Just follow the proper syntax, keeping it squeaky clean.
And let us see your best effort. There are critics everywhere.


excellent, been hoping for this, glad you started it.....

There isn't a shadow of doubt
We're all of us ON THE WAY OUT
From old age or ambition
Of excessive coition
So drink up before you are nowt

There was a rash fellow called Weir
Who hadn't an atom of fear
He indulged a desire
To touch a live wire
And any last line will do here

The Limerick's birth is unclear
It's Genesis owed much to Lear
It started as clean
But soon went obscene
And this split haunts it's later career

hehehe
Babezy
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 8:59:28 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/16/2009
Posts: 926
Neurons: 2,806
Location: United States
Okay, my lines are a bit short--could we say it's in honor of the little people? I'll try to think up a correct one later.

Better to post or just lurk?
Writing a poem is work!
Bound by the beat
(Useless to cheat)
I am a syllable clerk.
GabhSigenod
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 9:11:37 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 2,371
Neurons: 149,736
Location: Mulroog, Connaught, Ireland
Keep thinking, I'm going to bed.
excaelis
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 10:46:14 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,965
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
In the course of his final emission
Evelyn Waugh's soul flew off to perdition.
It wasn't the f*ck
That caused this ill luck
But an act of imperfect contrition.

There was a young lady of Leigh,
Who sat on a pole in the sea.
And as the tide rose
She discarded her clothes,
Until she was quite deshabilee.

There was a gay man of Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
Where they wrangled all night
As to who had the right
To do what and with what to whom.


Not too PC, I'm afraid, but then this ain't the opera !

srirr
Posted: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 10:55:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 8,507
Neurons: 484,288
Some are naughty, some absurd
Like an ice-cream mixed with curd
I too tried to have some fun
And wanted to include some pun
But I was thrown out of herd.

Don’t know what thought Sigenod
But it is an effort worth my nod
Who is boy and who is female
You’ll know if you keep a trail
Ex’s stories are not odd.

Gunjika
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 3:40:35 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/10/2011
Posts: 376
Neurons: 1,127
Location: India
A young lady of Niger,
went for a ride on a tiger,
they came back from their ride,
with the lady inside,
and a smile on the face of the tiger.

(it is not mine, please accept it in your sacrosanct limericks forum!!?? Pray )
srirr
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 3:55:51 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 8,507
Neurons: 484,288
Your post will get entry Gunjika,
for it is a collection of exotica
Have fun, enjoy, smile and cheer
And don't forget to pour me a beer
We'll accept any limerick's replica.

cooljelly
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 4:00:43 AM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 1/24/2011
Posts: 4
Neurons: 12
Location: Chile
I don't think copyied material should be allowed to be submit coz there is a plenty in the internet. Only genuine material accepted. Last decision is signeod's.
ludic
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 4:17:34 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/7/2010
Posts: 1,153
Neurons: 3,544
Location: New Delhi, NCT, India
The sun rose from the west tonight
And I had the feeling that I might
Climb up the peaks of Himalayas
and fish for octopuses for my flower vase
but let go of the idea, for it seemed too trite.

Sick
TOOTS
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 4:49:40 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/7/2010
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Location: United Kingdom
Some of you are not getting this right
There's a rhythm to follow, then write
So please keep on trying
And don't you start sighing
Until you succeed with your plight
Gunjika
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 4:52:46 AM
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Joined: 1/10/2011
Posts: 376
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Location: India
I copied and thought it is fun,
but it was appreciated by none!
my mind is absolutely dry,
Nevertheless i will try,
and come up with an original one.
srirr
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 4:59:06 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/29/2009
Posts: 8,507
Neurons: 484,288
You have made it nice this time
although copying is not a crime
still original has its own taste
always better than copy-paste
It can be your lovely pastime.

intelfam
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 5:55:27 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/18/2010
Posts: 1,190
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Location: United Kingdom
I find myself voting with TOOTS
Who has clearly gone back to the roots
Of Limerick's beat,
or rhythm, or feet,
Meaning, anything else is old boots.
Christine
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 8:34:35 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,917
Neurons: 15,842
[quote=excaelis]

There was a gay man of Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
Where they wrangled all night
As to who had the right
To do what and with what to whom.


I vote this is the best!Applause
ludic
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 9:47:17 AM

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Joined: 12/7/2010
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Location: New Delhi, NCT, India
This is such an ordeal
Oh! I am losing my zeal
poetry is not me cup of tea
Out of the thread now I flee
while it is still genteel
pedro
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 10:41:45 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/21/2009
Posts: 13,057
Neurons: 63,022
Thought I'd combine the new google translator with a Latin 'limerick'-found online of course. Not as pithy asexcaelis's examples I must say.

Si vitiorum meorum evacuatio
Concupiscentiae et libidinis exterminatio,
Caritatis et patientiae,
Humilitatis et obedientiae,
Omniumque virtutum augmentatio.

If you bring me evacuation
Of lust, of lust and destruction of their foes,
Of Charity and of patience,
Of Humility and obedience,
An increase of and every other virtue.
MarySM
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 12:20:27 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/22/2009
Posts: 1,627
Neurons: 6,084
There was a woman in New Mexico
Who thought to sleep-in she just might
Opening the window she saw with delight
That the ground was totally white
That decides it she said “to work I won’t go!” instead I’ll be a noshow!
GabhSigenod
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 1:54:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 2,371
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Location: Mulroog, Connaught, Ireland
Let us remember the limerick rule
They're not there just for the fool
Rhyme and syllable number
Laws not meant to cumber
You make it smooth to make it cool



Limericks consist of five anapestic lines.
Lines 1, 2, and 5 have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another.
Lines 3 and 4 have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.
Very simple.


When you come up with a limerick
Then critics will try to nitpick
They will cut you apart
And demoralize your heart
But surely you will feel quite slick
tootsie
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 4:25:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/11/2010
Posts: 6,883
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Anapestic has left me unsure
That I can write a poem so pure
I may be too old
But can I be bold
To assume I can please find a cure?
RuthP
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 5:17:43 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/2/2009
Posts: 5,408
Neurons: 87,618
Location: Drain, Oregon, United States
Not a limerick, but given the preceding I couldn't resist:

From A Space Child's Mother Goose by Frederick Windsor, illustrated by Marian Perry. Simon and Schuster, 1958

The colloid and the crystalloid
Were joshing just in jest.
The colloid called the crystalloid
A pseudo-anapest.*
Some called them physical and some called them chemic,
And some thought the whole affair was slightly academic.

Footnote *
The pseudo-anapest
Moves awkwardly at best.
Its feet are long, uneven, and retractile.
Who hunts this beast in rhythm
Must take his meter withm,
And still may only bag a ptero-dactyl.
excaelis
Posted: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 5:58:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,965
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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Will Shakespeare was far from an amateur
When writing iambic pentameter.
Tho' penning ellipses,
Or quaint anapestes,
He always remained a great dramateur.
chuckc4th
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 1:21:58 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/26/2009
Posts: 179
Neurons: 537
Location: United States
I have a couple not my own but that I enjoyed:

There once was a man from Peru,
Whose Limericks stopped at line two.

Followed by:

There once was a man from Verdun...
Annamarialouisa_777
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 3:46:53 AM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 2/3/2011
Posts: 4
Neurons: 6,985
Well, here's my first tryAnxious

Rhyming is not a big deal,
It's a talent we all might conceal,
In a lil' bit of time
Everyone finds his rhyme,
And this game has its own appeal.
TOOTS
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 4:06:12 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/7/2010
Posts: 1,369
Neurons: 4,026
Location: United Kingdom
There once was a man from Peru,
Whose Limericks stopped at line two.


priceless, large chuckles !!!! Applause thanks chuckc4th
pedro
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 9:05:59 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/21/2009
Posts: 13,057
Neurons: 63,022
A dying mosquito exclaimed,
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
Diphenyl-trichloroethane

There was an old man
From Peru, whose lim'ricks all
Look'd like haiku. He

Said with a laugh "I
Cut them in half, the pay is
Much better for two."


On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.


These and more from http://limerickdb.com/?top150

Vickster
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 10:37:43 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/19/2010
Posts: 2,404
Neurons: 7,211
Location: Massachusetts, United States
ok...I'll give it a try...

The snow here keeps deploying
making life quite annoying
If there comes a day
when the sun should stay
my heart will start rejoicing

(We've had over 4 feet of snow this year and my bankings are over my head. There is no room to shovel that which is still falling...I'm done with winter!!!)
GabhSigenod
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 3:12:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/22/2010
Posts: 2,371
Neurons: 149,736
Location: Mulroog, Connaught, Ireland
My grandson, Gabh III, sent this one.

I went to the beach with a chick
We poured the sunscreen real thick
When time came to leave
I could not believe
The sand could not help but stick
chuckc4th
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 10:44:20 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/26/2009
Posts: 179
Neurons: 537
Location: United States
The person who started the forum,
Prefers lim'ricks with quaint decorum.
For the rest of the body,
(who might prefer naughty)
I'll try my best not to bore 'em.

Vickster
Posted: Friday, February 4, 2011 9:36:12 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/19/2010
Posts: 2,404
Neurons: 7,211
Location: Massachusetts, United States
I continue with my disgust for this snow....

Once again it's snowing in Mass.
The ice makes the roads slippery as glass
He jammed on his brakes
My heart skips and shakes
Next thing I know, I'm crammed up his ass...Brick wall Brick wall
excaelis
Posted: Friday, February 4, 2011 10:51:37 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,965
Neurons: 32,652
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Vickster, here's some sage advice from Old Excaelis' Almanac:

When winter begins to get rough,
Bringing snowstorms and other bad stuff.
Be sure to stay warm,
And don't leave your dorm,
Unless wrapped in a chinchilla muff !
ludic
Posted: Friday, February 4, 2011 11:24:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 12/7/2010
Posts: 1,153
Neurons: 3,544
Location: New Delhi, NCT, India
Happily snug we're in the tropics
Except for the sure sweat that licks
our foreheads in summer
those few months're bummer
Else, no one is as comfy as us hicks.

Angel
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