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What do you think about the internet dating websites? Options
starfish
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 2:44:55 AM
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Can someone please share their experiences on internet dating?
Luftmarque
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 2:58:26 AM

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Tried both eHarmony (supposedly more "serious") and Match.com (supposedly more "casual"). Met some interesting women, had a number of first dates. No sparks flew and didn't follow up on any of them (but that undoubtedly says more about me and my age group than anything about the efficacy of dating sites). In my experience, when you first join them it can be exhilarating (you're presenting yourself in a good light, you're reading descriptions and viewing images of people you'd never meet, you're allowing yourself a certain amount of optimism and hope) and sometimes even a bit addictive. I think they're worth checking out, the cost isn't that high and they immediately widen your circle of potential dates far beyond what you would have otherwise. Also, the process does help you focus on what it is that you're really looking for in another person.

So, I'd say try one of the sites out for a few months, follow all the precautions they will recommend about first dates in low-pressure public places, keep an open mind, and see what happens.
redsxz
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:04:18 AM
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I know this is a bit presumptuous but I thought dating sites were only if you were super desperate and had other people of super desperate status. But if Mark was in there, can't be all too bad!
AnthA1G
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:10:56 AM

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Ditto Mark- very well put.

Used to, had a couple of nice experiences. When I was about 16/17 those site came in handy. I met several girls who I kept in touch with, most of them were a one nightstand though. I don't use those sites anymore because I don't need them (at the momentWhistle).
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:25:22 AM
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Used to, had a couple of nice experiences. When I was about 16/17 those site came in handy. I met several girls who I kept in touch with, most of them were a one nightstand though. I don't use those sites anymore because I don't need them (at the moment)

Peter asks:

Your kidding. Girls Anth? A young fella resorting to internet dating? I think that is sad. What sort of social life did you have at seventeen that you 'needed' to use internet dating? Are you shy perhaps? Hard for me to understand that. For once I tend to agree with Reddy.
AnthA1G
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:34:49 AM

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Peter asks:
Your kidding. Girls Anth? A young fella resorting to internet dating? I think that is sad. What sort of social life did you have at seventeen that you 'needed' to use internet dating? Are you shy perhaps? Hard for me to understand that. For once I tend to agree with Reddy.

LMAO! Peter, I said need, not need-need. You know nothing about me to come up with what you said. You are really funny, you know that right?
kamalraj
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:35:17 AM
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why you need that moment at first?....AnthA1G
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:39:35 AM
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You are really funny, you know that right?


Thanks. Appreciate the praise.

When I 16/17 I was spoilt for choice... there were loads of girls I could have dated. I had a good time. We did not need the internet at all. Fillies were everywhere. We mixed, and had good active social lives. We had lot's of friends and things to do.

Luftmarque
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:40:24 AM

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According to Match.com (obviously not an unbiased source) one in five marriages in the US are currently resulting from initial contacts made via on-line dating services. I don't think there's any opprobrium to be attached to on-line dating—it's no different from those quaint old lovelorn adverts in magazines back in the day—and it's a far more efficient way to meet lots of potential dates (which in theory should increase your chances of finding somebody truly compatible) than relying on friends or other forms of matchmaker. I am frankly surprised that any modern person would have the idea that they're for losers.
AnthA1G
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:42:19 AM

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kamalraj, in my opinion, those sites are equivalent to, say, myspace. At that age, I didn't used Myspace to socialize like I do now. I used to have a bunch of accounts on networking/dating sites, for the hell of it. I didn't need those sites, just like I don't need this forum

[image not available]
.
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:47:25 AM
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Can't agree here Mark. Maybe for an older person like yourself... but a young man or girl? Don't they at that age have a strong social life with lots of opportunity to meet folk? I think a young person using internet dating is very sad and not a little dangerous.

There is a place of course for internet dating, but I am amazed that 16/17 year old would want to, or need to do that. A lonely... shy person who is challenged with mixing with girls or boys as it may be yes... or older person, is more understandable, but would never be for me. Not all modern is good.

I think socialising behind a keyboard, for a young person should be kept to the limit and they should get out and mix. But there we are, that is just my view. Youth is for living to the full.... for burning off all that excess energy...for doing things that age will stop you doing. In most cases I think it should be said to the young person using that system to 'get a life'.

I am seventy and as soon as I get back to living in my country I intend to cut right back on the internet...use it still, because it is a great tool, but curtail it.

I would not go so far as to say losers... sad when young, yes... but not losers.

I acknowledge exceptions.

kamalraj
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:49:33 AM
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Why AnthA1G..you not like forum..
Luftmarque
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 4:37:49 AM

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PH:
1. I did find it a little startling that a 16-yr-old would use an online dating service.
2. But I doubt that something that might have been true (about us old-timers) when we old-timers were young (if we had had the technology) applies at all to today's 16-yr-olds who have grown up with the internet.
3. Besides, the point of dating sites isn't to substitute an online relationship for a real-life one, it is to enable people to initiate real-life relationships, to, in your words, "get out and mix."
pedro
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 5:14:23 AM
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You've got to watch out for viruses too
boneyfriend
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 6:07:47 AM

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My favorite of those sites is Concerned Singles, a site for those of the liberal persuasion. It serves the U.S. One time when I was in this frame of mind to live on a farm, I joined Singles in Agriculture, and lo and behold, I received a letter from a fellow who lived about 10 miles from my house. Scared me to death. Made me realize I really wanted a long distance relationship.
Shelley
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 7:39:06 AM
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I've used a couple of dating sites - with extreme caution, I might add - and have made good friends with two men I met online and am seriously dating another. This over a period of two years, mind you. The trick is a) NOT to be desperate, otherwise you're a sucker for all the sickos, weirdos and serial daters (and there are plenty) and b) to take your time to get to know someone via email before going out with them. For me the real advantage was getting to know someone's mind before getting to know the rest of them.
Ляпала
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 9:19:28 AM
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peterhewett wrote:
You are really funny, you know that right?


Thanks. Appreciate the praise.

When I 16/17 I was spoilt for choice... there were loads of girls I could have dated. I had a good time. We did not need the internet at all. Fillies were everywhere. We mixed, and had good active social lives. We had lot's of friends and things to do.


and all believed you at once lol
man in black
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 10:19:08 AM
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In an era like ours where communication and the fast pace of life make time seem to elapse swifter, I am of the opinion that internet dating is a good way to find your other half. I wish I could have access to such sites, but in my island to be honest one does not need them at all because there´s plenty of time to interact and socialize. The propical weather also favors the such socializing. Cubans because they are bereft of dating sites then use forum sites to get to know one another on more intimate and personal basis. I think it woul be exhilirating to have a tryst with someone you have communicated only through the computer. It creates a suspense and many expectations. I´d say go for it.Dancing
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 11:04:09 AM
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Ляпала said and all believed you at once lol


Peter says:

My google translater translated you signature thus 'It botched' so I'll call you Fred. Said:

and all believed you at once lol

What does your comment mean? Who believed whom?
worldsclyde
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 11:54:40 AM
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Internet dating is ubiquitous. Its not a sign of desparation but the norm. Some of you may think it has a sign of "loser" attached to it but you are, well, old. No matter how much one gets out there and "mixes it up", the internet and its dating sites are still a part of life.
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 12:51:27 PM
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Can't agree with you Clyde. I think your average young person would not be seen dead internet dating. They are far too busy enjoying hands on life. I bet it is a small minority of young people who do internet dating. Ubiquitous... nah.


I would class Edit: loser as not a fair term.
AnthA1G
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 2:07:57 PM

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Peter (on an earlier post):
I would not go so far as to say losers... sad when young, yes... but not losers.

Peter (latest post):
I would class loser as a fair term.

I won't point out the contradiction between your very own posts.d'oh!

Anyways, in your opinion, what's the difference between a dating site and, say, Facebook one of (if not the most) popular social networking site?


Peter:
I think socialising behind a keyboard, for a young person should be kept to the limit and they should get out and mix. But there we are, that is just my view. Youth is for living to the full.... for burning off all that excess energy...for doing things that age will stop you doing.

Are you admitting that you are old and unable to go out, and that is why people of your age should do the same? Do you think only the young ones should live their lives to the fullest? I don't agree to what you said. Perhaps you can't do as much stuff (like break-dance and the likes) when you are old, but that doesn't stop you from socializing. This reminds me what was said about homosexuality (not trying to start a "debate" about that here): "It is unjust to let homosexuals adopt kids. Don't you know they will be bullied at school for having homosexual parents." Well, if people accepted more the differences other people posses, this wouldn't be a problem at all. As you can see, this applies to what you have said. Most people think old folk shouldn't be clubbing or doing stuff like that because, aside of being old and "old people shouldn't be doing that", 'it looks ridiculous'. What is the reason behind such eloquent and sublime remarks?

PS: I didn't ignore the fact that at a certain age (it varies) you can't do much. However, the truth is most old folks could also go clubbing [not like young ones though] and mixing, but they aren't interested in that "lifestyle"; some old folks do, but let's face it, people don't look at them in good light. The same could be applied to a young fellow. What if I just don't feel like mixing, clubbing, and that stuff? Does that make me a loser? I don't think so.
kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:52:57 PM
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I think this part by Luftmarque seals the issue:

'3. Besides, the point of dating sites isn't to substitute an online relationship for a real-life one, it is to enable people to initiate real-life relationships, to, in your words, "get out and mix."'
excaelis
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 9:49:34 PM

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I have no experience of internet dating, but then I have no experience of bobbing for rattlesnakes either. Caveat emptor!
Babezy
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 10:07:12 PM
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Never tried a dating service site but it sounds extremely useful. In the old days, you maybe grew up with your entire spouse-candidate pool in the same town. Or you had a helpful relative who knew everyone and knew what type of person you were looking for. Not necessarily so, now. The dating sites sound like the efficient way for people new to a city, or people with limited searching time, or people who are tired of wading through parties and bars trying to find someone interesting to talk to.
man in black
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 10:39:21 PM
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Why don´t we create our own dating space in here? Of course the majority of forum mates interested would only fantasize with the idea since the likelyhood to meet in the flesh would rarely happen, at least if those parts interested do not live in the same country. It would be interesting if we all provide details of ourselves and see who could be our pontial other half. what do you say folks? Anyone dares to try this inocuos experiment?
excaelis
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 11:06:35 PM

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man in black wrote:
Why don´t we create our own dating space in here? Of course the majority of forum mates interested would only fantasize with the idea since the likelyhood to meet in the flesh would rarely happen, at least if those parts interested do not live in the same country. It would be interesting if we all provide details of ourselves and see who could be our pontial other half. what do you say folks? Anyone dares to try this inocuos experiment?


You'd have to eliminate gender from everyone's profiles to make it work.
worldsclyde
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 11:47:17 PM
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As long as my wife says its ok.
peterhewett
Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 11:58:15 PM
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Anth suggested

Are you admitting that you are old and unable to go out, and that is why people of your age should do the same?


Peter says:

NO... in an answer of one syllable

Ah that is funny. I go up stairs two at a time and go for long walks... I as fit as a fiddle dear boy.

I edited my post above since I intended to say loser is NOT a fair term.

See: post above that which says: 'I would not go so far as to say losers... sad when young, yes... but not losers'

Yes I find it quiet amazing that you confess to internet dating at 16/17. That is not the norm.

I am not going to start another argument with you Anth it is fruitless and I find it hard to follow your reasoning. I have said under this post what my honest views are and if they don't concur with yours, well that is that. By the way you are misquoting me and should be more careful.

If you want to discuss religion or homosexuality this is not the post for it ok.I know you have a keen interest in the subject homosexuality. As for me I have said all I want to on the subject, and stand by it all, but as I say this is not the post to raise it.

I am sorry but I cannot make any sense of some parts of your post. I do not want to pursue your line of argument or reasoning... ok.

Age curtails, as you will discover, and it also changes what one finds as pleasurable. New interests arise that replace ones that were held when young. It is not so much to do with fitness, more a matter of what one desires, that often changes with age. Some things do not. I love walking in the country, and can walk young ones off their feet... I have stamina. I sometimes dance but have no interest in break dancing, just as many young folk do not break dance... but I still dance, and am quite a good mover young fella.

I tend to spend a lot of time in intellectual pursuits.

Where you get the idea that I don't socialise beats me. But youth is a special time, and sitting behind a keyboard for hour after hour is in most cases a waste of it. That's my view ... I am not asking you to take it on board am I?

You insidious attempt to make me out as an old fuddy duddy is silly and so far from the truth.


Interaction between you and I never works for any good does it Anth.To be honest I prefer not to discuss with you please. I find your ways unpleasant. Can you respect that? Adiue

worldsclyde
Posted: Saturday, July 31, 2010 12:09:54 AM
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Just one more thought on this; I am old, but IF I was dating, I would persue all avenues. Why leave out people who don't have time to get out there and socialize? I especially don't want to rely on bars or clubs. Its not like I'm gonna meet somebody in church. Think
peterhewett
Posted: Saturday, July 31, 2010 6:25:09 AM
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[image not available]
26letters
Posted: Saturday, July 31, 2010 3:42:54 PM
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AnthA1G Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:10:56 AM
I met several girls who I kept in touch with, most of them were a one nightstand though.


26letters writes: You once dated a nightstand? I've dated a few pieces of furniture myself. (figuratively speaking) Once I fell for an armoire. It was love at first sight – but he had too many hang-ups. Then there was the LazyBoy. Obviously, that wasn't going to go anywhere! And I'll never forget the curio cabinet – I could never figure him out. When I needed someone to lean on, the ottoman failed me. It was easy to get ticked off at a wall clock that tocked too much – but the cuckoo clock drove me crazy! It was all fun and games with the entertainment center – until somebody got hurt. The bookcase had “I'm the smartest” written all over his face. I finally settled for a nice round table – dependable, easy-going, fair, supportive and versatile – and it was easy to add a few little chairs to the set.

Getting back on topic: I've never used an Internet dating site. (and I never would) I was married long before they were invented. Come to think of it, I was married before the computer was invented. Well, almost. It seems that having to choose from a large data-base would be like playing the lottery. “If I just bet one more dollar...” You may find someone you feel comfortable with, but what if there happened to be someone more compatible – if you had only waited a little longer, or searched a little more diligently... Of course, life could be like that even without a dating service, but you would be more likely to settle sooner knowing that otherwise it would take a lifetime of searching.

kisholoy mukherjee
Posted: Saturday, July 31, 2010 5:13:41 PM
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Come on now Peter...make up your mind...are we sheep or dogs?
grammargeek
Posted: Saturday, July 31, 2010 5:27:07 PM
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26letters wrote:
AnthA1G Posted: Friday, July 30, 2010 3:10:56 AM
I met several girls who I kept in touch with, most of them were a one nightstand though.


26letters writes: You once dated a nightstand? I've dated a few pieces of furniture myself. (figuratively speaking) Once I fell for an armoire. It was love at first sight – but he had too many hang-ups. Then there was the LazyBoy. Obviously, that wasn't going to go anywhere! And I'll never forget the curio cabinet – I could never figure him out. When I needed someone to lean on, the ottoman failed me. It was easy to get ticked off at a wall clock that tocked too much – but the cuckoo clock drove me crazy! It was all fun and games with the entertainment center – until somebody got hurt. The bookcase had “I'm the smartest” written all over his face. I finally settled for a nice round table – dependable, easy-going, fair, supportive and versatile – and it was easy to add a few little chairs to the set.

Getting back on topic: I've never used an Internet dating site. (and I never would) I was married long before they were invented. Come to think of it, I was married before the computer was invented. Well, almost. It seems that having to choose from a large data-base would be like playing the lottery. “If I just bet one more dollar...” You may find someone you feel comfortable with, but what if there happened to be someone more compatible – if you had only waited a little longer, or searched a little more diligently... Of course, life could be like that even without a dating service, but you would be more likely to settle sooner knowing that otherwise it would take a lifetime of searching.



Applause So 26, I just wanted to tell you how much I love your furniture-dating story. Very, very clever! (Makes me wish I'd thought of it. I did put a clarification of "one nightstand" in the Misspellings on the Forums: Corrected topic, however.)
AnthA1G
Posted: Saturday, July 31, 2010 5:50:06 PM

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LOL! Thanks for the clarification GG. I didn't get why 26letters was talking about furniture until you posted. Applause Applause

Peter, I didn't misquote you because that's what you wrote before editing it. But let's just not ruin this one thread with our arguments. This thread got the potential to help many individuals lol.Dancing
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