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A horrific spirit brings... Options
Amybal
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2021 4:30:42 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,375
Neurons: 7,064
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences

Short summary
A horrific spirit brings havoc and death to the Vietnamese-Australian community during the Hungry Ghost Festival in Melbourne in this four-part mini-series.

Long summary
When a tomb in Vietnam is accidentally opened on the eve of the Hungry Ghost Festival, a vengeful spirit is unleashed, bringing the dead with him. As these spirits wreak havoc across the Vietnamese-Australian community in Melbourne, reclaiming lost loves and exacting revenge, young woman May Le must rediscover her true heritage and accept her destiny to help bring balance to a community still traumatised by war.
FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2021 11:14:14 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 15,647
Neurons: 74,672
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences

Short summary
A horrific spirit brings havoc and death to the Vietnamese-Australian community during the Hungry Ghost Festival in Melbourne in this four-part mini-series.

Long summary
Good up to this point, but the idea of the spirit wreaking havoc and tying that to reclaiming lost loves doesn't make sense. I think this is what you intend to say:

When a tomb in Vietnam is accidentally opened on the eve of the Hungry Ghost Festival, a vengeful spirit is unleashed, bringing the dead with him. As these spirits wreak havoc across the Vietnamese-Australian community in Melbourne, exacting revenge, a young woman, May Le, must rediscover her true heritage and accept her destiny to help bring balance to a community still traumatised by war.
Amybal
Posted: Wednesday, April 7, 2021 2:12:03 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 1,375
Neurons: 7,064
Thank you FounDit.
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