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Describe open door shadow and light Options
alpacinou
Posted: Thursday, February 18, 2021 3:41:53 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/18/2020
Posts: 77
Neurons: 411

I'm trying to describe a situation like this?




How can I?

The door opened, shedding a corridor of light onto the floor of the dark bedroom. A few seconds later, a stretched shadow appeared in the corridor of light and appeared to be moving closer.


I know it needs work!
FounDit
Posted: Friday, February 19, 2021 1:38:17 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 15,818
Neurons: 75,455
alpacinoutd wrote:

I'm trying to describe a situation like this?




How can I?

The door opened, shedding a corridor of light onto the floor of the dark bedroom. A few seconds later, a stretched shadow appeared in the corridor of light and appeared to be moving closer.


I know it needs work!


It's good. I would only suggest you omit the word "bedroom" since there is nothing in the picture to suggest anything but an empty room.

You could say, "The door opened into the darkened, empty room, casting a corridor of light onto the floor. The shadow of a figure stretched itself along that channel of light, indicating someone might be about to enter".
alpacinou
Posted: Friday, February 19, 2021 3:18:52 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 10/18/2020
Posts: 77
Neurons: 411
FounDit wrote:
alpacinoutd wrote:

I'm trying to describe a situation like this?




How can I?

The door opened, shedding a corridor of light onto the floor of the dark bedroom. A few seconds later, a stretched shadow appeared in the corridor of light and appeared to be moving closer.


I know it needs work!


It's good. I would only suggest you omit the word "bedroom" since there is nothing in the picture to suggest anything but an empty room.

You could say, "The door opened into the darkened, empty room, casting a corridor of light onto the floor. The shadow of a figure stretched itself along that channel of light, indicating someone might be about to enter".


Thank you so much.Applause
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