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Profile: Carmenex
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User Name: Carmenex
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Last Visit: Wednesday, June 19, 2019 11:37:28 AM
Number of Posts: 1,060
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  Last 10 Posts
Topic: This would allow them to
Posted: Wednesday, June 19, 2019 11:31:54 AM
Hi FounDit, do you believe that the following expressions are idiomatic and natural, or do they exist different (and, possibly, more natural) ways to covey the same meaning:
I would like please to ask you if any decision about someone's application has been made.
I would like please to ask you what the outcome of someone's interview is.
I would like please to ask you if the following expressions in bold are correct: ...


Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Friday, June 14, 2019 11:21:39 AM
Thank you, FounDit. I would like please to ask if it is possible to replace including with as exemplified by, as follows:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors.
You could if you shifted the wording a bit: "I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by the consulting services provided to both the general and life insurance sectors."


Do you think that it would be correct to use there, even if the recipient is with the company?[/quote]
Yes, I see no problem with that. You are simply telling the other person why you would enjoy working there (at X Inc.)


Thank you FounDit. Do you believe that it is appropriate to include wide-ranging/different/significant opportunities in the area of in:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by the wide-ranging/different/significant opportunities in the area of consulting services provided to both the general and life insurance sectors.
Is it correct to omit that can be in the following, or is it better to include it:
I value the structure of the programme, since it combines both training opportunities and hands-on work. The solid, and comprehensive professional skills that can be developed in this career path, further enhanced by the learning opportunities derived from regularly interfacing directly with the partners and colleagues, can lead to ...
Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Thursday, June 13, 2019 11:00:06 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
[quote=FounDit][quote=Carmenex]Hi, I would like please to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
Umm, I usually try to leave as much of your own words as possible, but in this case, I think it is excessively wordy, and could benefit from cutting much of that excess, along with a bit of rewording. This is one way to rewrite it:

I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there in terms of two sectors of insurance — the business sector and the life insurance sector. Additionally, I am impressed by X Inc.'s agile structure and strong focus on modelling that may permit it to benefit from the numerous business opportunities that recent regulatory changes, such as Z and Y are expected to produce.

I am attracted to working at/with X Inc. by the variety of the work I would gain exposure (to?) both in terms of business area(s), (since/as it includes)/including both (the?) general insurance and (the?) life insurance sectors, and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. Additionally, I believe that X Inc.’s agile structure and its strong emphasis/focus on modelling would offer the firm an/the opportunity to seize/(benefit from) numerous business opportunities in the next few years that the recent regulatory changes, such Z and Y, are expected to produce.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: with regard to the first sentence, you have not included and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. It was this part that I thought was unnecessary wording, but if you want to include it, okay. How is it possible to include it? What about:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there. This includes (or would include?) providing consulting services to different sectors, including both the general insurance (sector?) and (the?) life insurance sector(s?), and an (or the?) opportunity to work both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house.
I still think it could be improved with a bit of rewording. Perhaps:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, including providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors. Also attractive is the opportunity to work both on-site at the offices of clients, and in-house.

Why do you prefer I have a strong desire to work at to I am attracted to working at?

I chose that wording because I think it shows a stronger motivation and desire than mere attraction. But it's your choice. There's nothing wrong with attraction.



Thank you, FounDit. I would like please to ask if it is possible to replace including with as exemplified by, as follows:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors.
Do you think that it would be correct to use there, even if the recipient is with the company?
Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Tuesday, June 11, 2019 12:17:36 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like please to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
Umm, I usually try to leave as much of your own words as possible, but in this case, I think it is excessively wordy, and could benefit from cutting much of that excess, along with a bit of rewording. This is one way to rewrite it:

I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there in terms of two sectors of insurance — the business sector and the life insurance sector. Additionally, I am impressed by X Inc.'s agile structure and strong focus on modelling that may permit it to benefit from the numerous business opportunities that recent regulatory changes, such as Z and Y are expected to produce.

I am attracted to working at/with X Inc. by the variety of the work I would gain exposure (to?) both in terms of business area(s), (since/as it includes)/including both (the?) general insurance and (the?) life insurance sectors, and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. Additionally, I believe that X Inc.’s agile structure and its strong emphasis/focus on modelling would offer the firm an/the opportunity to seize/(benefit from) numerous business opportunities in the next few years that the recent regulatory changes, such Z and Y, are expected to produce.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: with regard to the first sentence, you have not included and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. It was this part that I thought was unnecesary wording, but if you want to include it, okay. How is it possible to include it? What about:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there. This includes (or would include?) providing consulting services to different sectors, including both the general insurance (sector?) and (the?) life insurance sector(s?), and an (or the?) opportunity to work both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house.
I still think it could be improved with a bit of rewording. Perhaps:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, including providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors. Also attractive is the opportunity to work both on-site at the offices of clients, and in-house.

Why do you prefer I have a strong desire to work at to I am attracted to working at?

I chose that wording because I think it shows a stronger motivation and desire than mere attraction. But it's your choice. There's nothing wrong with attraction.


Thank you, FounDit, for your enlightening suggestions. And in your opinion, are correct the expressions in bold in the following sentences that a continuation of the previous sentences:
Additionally, I value the structure of the programme, since it combines both training opportunities and hands-on work. The solid,/and comprehensive professional skills developed/(that can be developed) throughout/in this career path, further enhanced by the learning opportunities deriving from the chance/possibility to regularly interface directly with the partners and (the?) colleagues, can (be employed to achieve)/(lead to) professional qualifications such as those offered by X.
Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Monday, June 10, 2019 10:27:14 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like please to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
Umm, I usually try to leave as much of your own words as possible, but in this case, I think it is excessively wordy, and could benefit from cutting much of that excess, along with a bit of rewording. This is one way to rewrite it:

I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there in terms of two sectors of insurance — the business sector and the life insurance sector. Additionally, I am impressed by X Inc.'s agile structure and strong focus on modelling that may permit it to benefit from the numerous business opportunities that recent regulatory changes, such as Z and Y are expected to produce.

I am attracted to working at/with X Inc. by the variety of the work I would gain exposure (to?) both in terms of business area(s), (since/as it includes)/including both (the?) general insurance and (the?) life insurance sectors, and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. Additionally, I believe that X Inc.’s agile structure and its strong emphasis/focus on modelling would offer the firm an/the opportunity to seize/(benefit from) numerous business opportunities in the next few years that the recent regulatory changes, such Z and Y, are expected to produce.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: with regard to the first sentence, you have not included and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. How is it possible to include it? What about:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there. This includes (or would include?) providing consulting services to different sectors, including both the general insurance (sector?) and (the?) life insurance sector(s?), and an (or the?) opportunity to work both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house.
Why do you prefer I have a strong desire to work at to I am attracted to working at?
Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Sunday, June 9, 2019 1:58:01 PM
Hi, I would like please to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I am attracted to working at/with X Inc. by the variety of the work I would gain exposure (to?) both in terms of business area(s), (since/as it includes)/including both (the?) general insurance and (the?) life insurance sectors, and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. Additionally, I believe that X Inc.’s agile structure and its strong emphasis/focus on modelling would offer the firm an/the opportunity to seize/(benefit from) numerous business opportunities in the next few years that the recent regulatory changes, such Z and Y, are expected to produce.
Topic: This would allow them to
Posted: Tuesday, May 21, 2019 6:56:51 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi FounDit, I woudl please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
My suggestions:

First of all, she is attracted to working at X Inc. because of the firm’s expertise in Z. Z is a key driver of insurance work at the present time, and this trend is expected to even (reads better without it) increase in the next few years. Developing models to calculate clients’ capital requirements (rather than using a model created by regulators) is a technically challenging, but very rewarding, task/activity (either works fine) as it would allow her to hone her analytical skills and put them to practical use.
Secondly, she values the opportunity to employ the software Y to model the financial risks faced by companies. Y is based on stochastic modelling. She finds it very appealing what such an approach can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities, as compared to a deterministic approach. Moreover, since she has taken a deterministic approach in her study of financial mathematics, she considers it an enrichment of her professional development.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. I agree with all of them, except for ... finds it very appealing what such an approach can deliver in terms of ..., because what I wanted to highlight is the opportunity for her to understand and appreciate the advantages that such an approach can deliver in terms of ... What do you think, and how would you modify the sentence so as to include it?
I would also ask you which of the expressions in bold is correct in the following (which is a continuation of the previous text):
Finally/Lastly/Additionally, I appreciate the opportunities that offers to graduates in terms of both tailored training and hands-on work.
Topic: This would allow them to
Posted: Tuesday, May 21, 2019 9:15:03 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi FounDit, I woudl please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
My suggestions:

First of all, she is attracted to working at X Inc. because of the firm’s expertise in Z. Z is a key driver of insurance work at the present time, and this trend is expected to even (reads better without it) increase in the next few years. Developing models to calculate clients’ capital requirements (rather than using a model created by regulators) is a technically challenging, but very rewarding, task/activity (either works fine) as it would allow her to hone her analytical skills and put them to practical use.
Secondly, she values the opportunity to employ the software Y to model the financial risks faced by companies. Y is based on stochastic modelling. She finds it very appealing what such an approach can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities, as compared to a deterministic approach. Moreover, since she has taken a deterministic approach in her study of financial mathematics, she considers it an enrichment of her professional development.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. I agree with all of them, except for ... finds it very appealing what such an approach can deliver in terms of ..., because what I wanted to highlight is the opportunity for her to understand and appreciate the advantages that such an approach can deliver in terms of ... What do you think, and would you modify the sentence so as to include it?
I would also ask you which of the expressions in bold is correct in the following (which is a continuation of the previous text):
Finally/Lastly/Additionally, I appreciate the opportunities that offers to graduates in terms of both tailored training and [b]hands-on work
.
Topic: This would allow them to
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2019 1:24:31 PM
Hi FounDit, I woudl please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
First/(First of all), she is attracted to working/(pursuing her career) at X Inc. by the firm’s expertise in Z. Z is a key driver of insurance work (in this historical moment)/(at the present time), and this trend is expected to even increase in the next few years. Developing models to calculate clients’ capital requirements (rather than using a model created by regulators) is a technically challenging but very rewarding work/task/activity because it would allow her to hone and put her analytical skills to practical use.
Secondly, she values the opportunity to employ the software Y (in modelling)/(to model) financial risks faced by companies. Y is based on stochastic modelling. She finds it appealing/encroaching to appreciate the advantages that such an approach can deliver in terms of modelling capabilities, as compared to a deterministic approach. Moreover, since she has taken a deterministic approach in her study of financial mathematics, she sees/considers it a completion and enrichment of her (professional?) formation.
Topic: provide a suitable date and time vs suggest a different date (and time)
Posted: Sunday, March 31, 2019 1:01:44 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi FounDit, could I please ask you if the following sentences are correct:
Because, instead of complaining about (the?) past or worrying about (the?) future, the beauty of living (the?) present captures/seizes us. Let us pray.


Standing alone, it is very awkward and sounds a bit strange. The basic sentence is, "Because ... the present captures/seizes us".

"Because" is usually a conjunction that means, "as a result of", or "for this reason". It could fit here, but since there has been no statement going before it, someone hearing or reading it might be confused.

More context would help greatly, I believe. But as it stands, the only word I would add would be "in". And either "captures" or "seizes" will work.

Because, instead of complaining about the past, or worrying about the future, the beauty of living in the present captures/seizes us. Let us pray.


Thank you, FounDit. Sorry, I meant to say (it is a prayer):
Instead of complaining about the past, or worrying about the future, in order that the beauty of living in the present captures/seizes us. Let us pray.

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