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Profile: Carmenex
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User Name: Carmenex
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Last Visit: Monday, July 8, 2019 8:22:58 AM
Number of Posts: 1,066
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  Last 10 Posts
Topic: has seen (a?) radical transformation
Posted: Monday, July 8, 2019 8:17:03 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:


Hi Drag0nspeaker and coag, and thank you for your suggestions. May I also please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
It should then be thoroughly investigated the reasons why the card has not yet had a significant use from the customers.


If I may answer, this is a very awkward sentence. I would suggest rewording it. Something like: "The reasons why the card has not had significant use by customers should be investigated".


Thank you, FounDit. And, if you want to employ an impersonal construction, can you do it by using the singular form reason, as follows:
It should be thoroughly investigated the reason why the card has not yet had a significant use from (the) customers.
Is it correct to use from in place of by before customers?
Topic: witnessed/exemplified
Posted: Saturday, July 6, 2019 9:37:23 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
May I please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
"strong desire" is a bit more forceful than "attracted to", but both will work.

My suggestions:

I (have a strong desire to work)/(am attracted to working) at X Inc. because of the bank’s global reach and its capacity to offer bespoke and innovative solutions in derivatives markets. Such capacity is exemplified by X Inc.’s recent development of a end-to-end collateral solution using Z software which (it clear that refers to solution? will provide (the?) bank’s clients with support in/with the TU calculation and reconciliation needs for non-cleared margin rules.

I think since the solution is achieved using Z software that it is clear enough, but I'm not sure what to say about the remainder of the sentence. I'm not qualified to offer an opinion on whether or not this solution will provide support for clients, or provide them with their TU calculation and reconciliation needs. These seem to be two different things to me.



Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. May I please ask you if the following expressions in bold are correct in the following (even considering to split the sentence into two):
The solid and comprehensive professional skills developed in this career path - further enhanced by the learning opportunities derived from being part of an international team which, combining globally deep industry expertise with local experience, would permit me to appreciate the regional differences within/of the derivatives market - can lead to professional qualifications.

I think splitting it into two parts would definitely improve it. As it stands now, it is a confusing sentence.

This is just one way to do that:

The learning opportunities of this solid and professional career path are many. Derived from being part of an international team with local and global industry expertise in derivative markets, this path permits an appreciation for the regional differences of that market, and can lead to professional qualifications.



Thank you, FounDit, for your helpful suggestions. What do you think about the modifications in bold:
Derived from being part of an international team with both global industry expertise and local experience in derivative markets, this path permits an appreciation for (shouldn't it be of?) the regional differences of that market, and can lead to professional qualifications.
Which preposition in bold would you use in the expression:
I am attracted to working at X Inc. by/(because of) the bank’s global reach and ...
Topic: witnessed/exemplified
Posted: Friday, July 5, 2019 10:02:35 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
May I please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
"strong desire" is a bit more forceful than "attracted to", but both will work.

My suggestions:

I (have a strong desire to work)/(am attracted to working) at X Inc. because of the bank’s global reach and its capacity to offer bespoke and innovative solutions in derivatives markets. Such capacity is exemplified by X Inc.’s recent development of a end-to-end collateral solution using Z software which (it clear that refers to solution? will provide (the?) bank’s clients with support in/with the TU calculation and reconciliation needs for non-cleared margin rules.

I think since the solution is achieved using Z software that it is clear enough, but I'm not sure what to say about the remainder of the sentence. I'm not qualified to offer an opinion on whether or not this solution will provide support for clients, or provide them with their TU calculation and reconciliation needs. These seem to be two different things to me.



Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. May I please ask you if the following expressions in bold are correct in the following (even considering to split the sentence into two):
The solid and comprehensive professional skills developed in this career path - further enhanced by the learning opportunities derived from being part of an international team which, combining globally deep industry expertise with local experience, would permit me to appreciate the regional differences within/of the derivatives market - can lead to professional qualifications.


Topic: witnessed/exemplified
Posted: Thursday, July 4, 2019 9:05:54 AM
May I please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I (have a strong desire to work)/(am attracted to working) at X Inc. because of the bank’s global reach and its capacity/capability to offer bespoke and innovative solutions in derivatives markets. That/This/Such capacity/capability is witnessed/exemplified by X Inc.’s recent development of a end-to-end collateral solution using Z software which (it clear that refers to solution? will provide (the?) bank’s clients with support in/with the TU calculation and reconciliation needs for non-cleared margin rules.

Topic: has seen (a?) radical transformation
Posted: Tuesday, July 2, 2019 9:29:53 AM
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
Hi Carmenex.
I'll have a go.
As usual, your passage is not in my usual (rather simplified) idiom - but I can understand it.

I also believe that, whilst the derivatives space has seen (a?) radical transformation in the last decade with the introduction/approval of regulatory reforms aiming to reduce credit and market risk, the derivatives market continues to play/playing a vital role in/within the global financial system. In fact, studies conducted on the four major economies, which have a mature derivatives market, indicate that it has served/served not only as an effective hedging instrument but also (has?) had a positive effect on economic growth.

I would use the "a" before "radical", though it would also be correct to omit it ('transformation' can be used either way). With other nouns, it would be better omitted ('derivatives space has seen radical reform in the last decade', for example).

"Introduction" sounds like the better choice.

"Aiming to" is correct - but "which aim to" would also be correct. You can choose.

Though "playing" is probably 'correct' by grammar rules, "to play" seems to fit better.

Both "in" and "within" are OK. I would say that "within" is slightly more formal, and fits the style of the paragraph.

"In fact" is OK - it shows that the following sentence supports (and increases) an opinion in the last sentence (that the derivatives market still plays a vital role).

I would use "has served" because it is still true up to present time.

In the last bit, I think that the 'has' could be omitted, but the sentence is made a little clearer if it is used. However, I would place it before the "also".

I also believe that, whilst the derivatives space has seen a radical transformation in the last decade with the introduction of regulatory reforms aiming to reduce credit and market risk, the derivatives market continues to play a vital role within the global financial system. In fact, studies conducted on the four major economies, which have a mature derivatives market, indicate that it has served not only as an effective hedging instrument but has also had a positive effect on economic growth.

It might also be suggested that (since you are talking about four major economies) you might say ". . . four major economies, which have mature derivatives markets . . .", but I'm not sure.


Hi Drag0nspeaker and coag, and thank you for your suggestions. May I also please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
It should then be thoroughly investigated the reasons why the card has not yet had a significant use from the customers.
Topic: has seen (a?) radical transformation
Posted: Monday, July 1, 2019 8:49:46 AM
Hi, may I please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct:
I also believe that, whilst the derivatives space has seen (a?) radical transformation in the last decade with the introduction/approval of regulatory reforms aiming to reduce credit and market risk, the derivatives market continues to play/playing a vital role in/within the global financial system. In fact, studies conducted on the four major economies, which have a mature derivatives market, indicate that it has served/served not only as an effective hedging instrument but also (has?) had a positive effect on economic growth.
Topic: This would allow them to
Posted: Wednesday, June 19, 2019 11:31:54 AM
Hi FounDit, do you believe that the following expressions are idiomatic and natural, or do they exist different (and, possibly, more natural) ways to covey the same meaning:
I would like please to ask you if any decision about someone's application has been made.
I would like please to ask you what the outcome of someone's interview is.
I would like please to ask you if the following expressions in bold are correct: ...


Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Friday, June 14, 2019 11:21:39 AM
Thank you, FounDit. I would like please to ask if it is possible to replace including with as exemplified by, as follows:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors.
You could if you shifted the wording a bit: "I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by the consulting services provided to both the general and life insurance sectors."


Do you think that it would be correct to use there, even if the recipient is with the company?[/quote]
Yes, I see no problem with that. You are simply telling the other person why you would enjoy working there (at X Inc.)


Thank you FounDit. Do you believe that it is appropriate to include wide-ranging/different/significant opportunities in the area of in:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by the wide-ranging/different/significant opportunities in the area of consulting services provided to both the general and life insurance sectors.
Is it correct to omit that can be in the following, or is it better to include it:
I value the structure of the programme, since it combines both training opportunities and hands-on work. The solid, and comprehensive professional skills that can be developed in this career path, further enhanced by the learning opportunities derived from regularly interfacing directly with the partners and colleagues, can lead to ...
Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Thursday, June 13, 2019 11:00:06 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
[quote=FounDit][quote=Carmenex]Hi, I would like please to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
Umm, I usually try to leave as much of your own words as possible, but in this case, I think it is excessively wordy, and could benefit from cutting much of that excess, along with a bit of rewording. This is one way to rewrite it:

I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there in terms of two sectors of insurance — the business sector and the life insurance sector. Additionally, I am impressed by X Inc.'s agile structure and strong focus on modelling that may permit it to benefit from the numerous business opportunities that recent regulatory changes, such as Z and Y are expected to produce.

I am attracted to working at/with X Inc. by the variety of the work I would gain exposure (to?) both in terms of business area(s), (since/as it includes)/including both (the?) general insurance and (the?) life insurance sectors, and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. Additionally, I believe that X Inc.’s agile structure and its strong emphasis/focus on modelling would offer the firm an/the opportunity to seize/(benefit from) numerous business opportunities in the next few years that the recent regulatory changes, such Z and Y, are expected to produce.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: with regard to the first sentence, you have not included and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. It was this part that I thought was unnecessary wording, but if you want to include it, okay. How is it possible to include it? What about:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there. This includes (or would include?) providing consulting services to different sectors, including both the general insurance (sector?) and (the?) life insurance sector(s?), and an (or the?) opportunity to work both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house.
I still think it could be improved with a bit of rewording. Perhaps:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, including providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors. Also attractive is the opportunity to work both on-site at the offices of clients, and in-house.

Why do you prefer I have a strong desire to work at to I am attracted to working at?

I chose that wording because I think it shows a stronger motivation and desire than mere attraction. But it's your choice. There's nothing wrong with attraction.



Thank you, FounDit. I would like please to ask if it is possible to replace including with as exemplified by, as follows:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, as exemplified by providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors.
Do you think that it would be correct to use there, even if the recipient is with the company?
Topic: firm’s clients’ offices
Posted: Tuesday, June 11, 2019 12:17:36 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like please to ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
Umm, I usually try to leave as much of your own words as possible, but in this case, I think it is excessively wordy, and could benefit from cutting much of that excess, along with a bit of rewording. This is one way to rewrite it:

I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there in terms of two sectors of insurance — the business sector and the life insurance sector. Additionally, I am impressed by X Inc.'s agile structure and strong focus on modelling that may permit it to benefit from the numerous business opportunities that recent regulatory changes, such as Z and Y are expected to produce.

I am attracted to working at/with X Inc. by the variety of the work I would gain exposure (to?) both in terms of business area(s), (since/as it includes)/including both (the?) general insurance and (the?) life insurance sectors, and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. Additionally, I believe that X Inc.’s agile structure and its strong emphasis/focus on modelling would offer the firm an/the opportunity to seize/(benefit from) numerous business opportunities in the next few years that the recent regulatory changes, such Z and Y, are expected to produce.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: with regard to the first sentence, you have not included and the type of work, (since it)/(as it)/which involves working both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house. It was this part that I thought was unnecesary wording, but if you want to include it, okay. How is it possible to include it? What about:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there. This includes (or would include?) providing consulting services to different sectors, including both the general insurance (sector?) and (the?) life insurance sector(s?), and an (or the?) opportunity to work both on-site at the firm’s clients’ offices and in-house.
I still think it could be improved with a bit of rewording. Perhaps:
I have a strong desire to work at X Inc. because of the variety of work I would experience there, including providing consulting services for products in both the general, and life insurance sectors. Also attractive is the opportunity to work both on-site at the offices of clients, and in-house.

Why do you prefer I have a strong desire to work at to I am attracted to working at?

I chose that wording because I think it shows a stronger motivation and desire than mere attraction. But it's your choice. There's nothing wrong with attraction.


Thank you, FounDit, for your enlightening suggestions. And in your opinion, are correct the expressions in bold in the following sentences that a continuation of the previous sentences:
Additionally, I value the structure of the programme, since it combines both training opportunities and hands-on work. The solid,/and comprehensive professional skills developed/(that can be developed) throughout/in this career path, further enhanced by the learning opportunities deriving from the chance/possibility to regularly interface directly with the partners and (the?) colleagues, can (be employed to achieve)/(lead to) professional qualifications such as those offered by X.

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