The Free Dictionary  
mailing list For webmasters
Welcome Guest Forum Search | Active Topics | Members

Profile: Carmenex
About
User Name: Carmenex
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
Occupation:
Interests:
Gender: None Specified
Home Page
Statistics
Joined: Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Last Visit: Monday, January 21, 2019 1:07:25 PM
Number of Posts: 1,032
[0.11% of all post / 0.56 posts per day]
Avatar
  Last 10 Posts
Topic: focusing on/highlighting
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 12:56:24 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
This one could benefit from some significant rewording, IMO. It could also be helpful to break it into paragraphs. I suggest:

If, as suggested by X, they probably do not have much knowledge of such technology, I would consider it a priority to provide them with an overview of the most advanced technologies available on the market when presenting our recommendations.

Whilst trying to avoid an overly technical lexicon, I believe that if the meeting participants gain a satisfactory understanding of how these technologies work, my team’s recommendations can be appreciated and have a concrete/real(either will work) chance of being adopted.

Another fundamental factor to consider would be Y Inc.’s existing IT infrastructure and how it can be effectively integrated with the proposed technological solutions. In order to persuade them of the validity of my team’s recommendations, I would present our ideas by focusing on/highlighting (either will work) how the new solutions can be implemented as smoothly as possible within Y Inc.



Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a question: can only be added before if the meeting participants ...?
I would also ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
In an environment where the consensus among several parties (has to)/must be achieved at every step of the way, both implementation and change management post implementation could be challenging processes which may (also?) suffer/(be subject to) delays due to the competing priorities of participants.
Topic: focusing on/highlighting
Posted: Saturday, January 19, 2019 12:44:53 PM
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
If, as suggested by X, they probably do probably not have much knowledge of such technology, I would consider as a priority to provide them with an overview of the most advanced technologies available on the market that my team (has?) considered and the criteria (followed in/when making)/shaping the/our recommendations. Whilst trying to avoid (a?) too technical lexicon, I believe that, only if all the participants (to the meeting) gain a satisfactory understanding of how technologies work, my team’s recommendations can be appreciated and have concrete/real chance(s) to be adopted. Another/Other fundamental factor(s) to consider would be (the?) Y Inc.’s (pre-?)existing IT infrastructure and how it can be effectively integrated with the proposed technology solutions. In order to persuade them of the validity of my team’s recommendations, I would present our ideas by focusing on/highlighting how the new solutions can be implemented as smoothly as possible within Y Inc.

Topic: by leveraging/deploying
Posted: Friday, January 18, 2019 12:34:04 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
This transformation is likely to produce a cultural change, resulting in the banks shifting from a people-first to a technology-first approach, including how the firms manage the interaction with their clients. In that regard, X represents one of the most promising technologies, due to the advances in Machine Learning. Indeed, (do you need it? Your choice. It reads well both ways.) these tools afford many benefits in improving customer experience by leveraging their ability to capture and analyse data, provide cost savings for banks, such as A Inc., and ease of use for their customers. However, there is a major risk for financial institutions in underestimating the power of the human connection in service. Replacing employees with machines, rather than investing in human-machine collaboration, can alienate customers and have a negative impact on their loyalty.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. I would please ask you one question: is it possible to replace provide with and in providing, making it depend on benefits, as follows:
... tools afford many benefits in improving customer experience by leveraging their ability to capture and analyse data, and in providing cost savings for banks, such as A Inc., and ease of use for their customers.?
Topic: by leveraging/deploying
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2019 12:26:54 PM
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
This transformation is likely to produce a cultural change, resulting in the banks shifting from a people-first to a technology-first approach, including how the firms manage the interaction with their clients. In that/this prospect/regard, X represents one of the most promising technologies, (thanks to)/(due to) the advances in Machine Learning. Indeed, (do you need it?) these tools afford many benefits in (terms of better)/improving customer experience (by leveraging/deploying their ability to capture and analyse data), (while providing?) cost saving(s?) for banks such as A Inc. and ease of use for its/their customers. On the other hand/However, there is a major risk for financial institutions to underestimate the power of the human touch in service, considering/deeming advantageous to replace employees with machines, rather than investing in human-machine collaboration, thus alienating customers and having a negative impact on their loyalty.
Topic: work on
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 11:22:20 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I suggest:

I appreciate [both work, but I like this one] the opportunity to provide tailored insurance products to such sectors as the energy industry which has highly specialised needs, including that of risk management insurance solutions that cover cyber-crime.
I can bring to the role of actuary, and to X Inc., my [again both can work, but I like:] abilities in mathematical modelling, data processing and statistical analysis, and my attention to details, team-working skills and business acumen.




Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only a couple of questions: with ... the opportunity to work on providing tailored insurance products ..., I mean ... the opportunity to (be engaged in)/(be involved in) providing ... Is there any difference in meaning between it and ... the opportunity to provide ...?
Can that cover be replaced by covering, or would it be better to use the former?
Topic: work on
Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2019 11:33:13 AM
I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I appreciate/value the opportunity to work on providing tailored insurance products for/to such sectors as the energy industry which has highly specialised needs, including (the need for?) risk management insurance solutions that specifically (can it be omitted?) cover cyber-crime.
I can bring to the role of actuary and to X Inc. my competencies/abilities in mathematical modelling, data processing and statistical analysis, and my attention to details, team-working skills and business acumen.
Topic: poses
Posted: Tuesday, December 25, 2018 7:51:26 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:


Thank you, FounDit. I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
You say you aren't referring to the specific plant. So it would seem then that there are many plants, or that there may be more plants in the future. If that is so, I suggest:

The collaboration of X Inc. with Y Inc. has been further advanced with the recent agreement between the companies. The agreement aims to combine their respective expertise in order to develop advanced digital solutions which will improve efficiency throughout the life-cycle of a given [or, particular] plant, with applications both within and without such plant.


Thank you, FounDit. I agree with all of our suggestions; I have only one question: do you suggest not using which will improve efficiency throughout (the?) entire plant life-cycle because it could suggest that you are referring to a specific plant, or is it for a different reason?
Yes. It sounded to me as if you meant only one plant. That's why I asked if there were others.

Actually, I mean: ... with applications both within and without the X industry.; however, I suppose, it does not change your suggestions, does it?

Yes, it will change my suggestion because I applied this to a particular plant rather than the industries of X and Y. With that in mind, I would change my paragraph to read:

The collaboration of X Inc. with Y Inc. has been further advanced with the recent agreement between the companies. The agreement aims to combine their respective expertise in order to develop advanced digital solutions which will improve efficiency for both companies.

With this change, I see no need to add anything about any plant, or detail concerning the internal or external conditions of both companies. The improved efficiency makes that obvious.




Thank you, FounDit. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, your family and the other members of The Free Dictionary Language Forums.
Topic: poses
Posted: Sunday, December 23, 2018 8:16:40 AM
FounDit wrote:


Thank you, FounDit. I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
You say you aren't referring to the specific plant. So it would seem then that there are many plants, or that there may be more plants in the future. If that is so, I suggest:

The collaboration of X Inc. with Y Inc. has been further advanced with the recent agreement between the companies. The agreement aims to combine their respective expertise in order to develop advanced digital solutions which will improve efficiency throughout the life-cycle of a given [or, particular] plant, with applications both within and without such plant.


Thank you, FounDit. I agree with all of our suggestions; I have only one question: do you suggest not using which will improve efficiency throughout (the?) entire plant life-cycle because it could suggest that you are referring to a specific plant, or is it for a different reason?
Actually, I mean: ... with applications both within and without the X industry.; however, I suppose, it does not change your suggestions, does it?
Topic: poses
Posted: Saturday, December 22, 2018 2:45:17 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
The only caveat I have is the use of "First" and "Secondly". Pedants prefer "Firstly" and "Secondly", but many people find "Firstly" an odd sounding choice because of its rarity of use. For that reason, most people go with "one one hand, and on the other hand". Which you use is a matter of personal choice.

For ease of reading, I suggest:

The impact of technology, such as X and Y, on X Inc.'s business can be two-fold, in terms of opportunities. On one hand, it may represent a market opportunity, in that Z industry can help clients to navigate the issues that technology poses to their businesses. On the other hand, such technology can afford significant productivity benefits to Z firms in terms of the execution of their internal operations, since they can deploy the advantages that S offers in terms of data manipulation and data correlation, for example.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Only one question: since for example (or as an example?) is referred to S, not data manipulation and ..., should it be placed after that?


The phrase does refer to S. What it says is that data manipulation and correlation is an example of the advantages S provides.


Thank you, FounDit. I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
The collaboration of X Inc. with Y Inc. has been further advanced with the recent agreement between the companies. The/This/Such agreement aims to combine (their respective)/(both their) expertise in order to develop advanced digital solutions which will improve efficiency throughout (the? I am not referring to a specific plant) entire plant life-cycle, with applications within the X industry and also outside it.
Topic: such as vs among which
Posted: Saturday, December 22, 2018 12:02:08 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are in the following:
Thanks, the added information is very helpful. I suggest:


I believe that X Inc. is the ideal place for me to pursue my professional career because of the company’s involvement in some of the world's largest industrial projects worldwide, such as the Y field development. Indeed, the development of Y has seen X Inc. become involved in a wide range of activities, from feasibility and concept studies of the field, to providing both engineering services, procurement and management assistance in the first phase of the project, and front-end engineering design in the second phase.


Thank you, FounDit. And, can one of world's and worldwide be omitted, and, if it is possible, which one?
Good point. One I failed to catch. You could do it either way:
"...involvement in some of the world's largest industrial projects, such as..."

or

involvement in some of the largest industrial projects worldwide, such as..."

Your choice as both work well.

Why is it preferable to use become involved to be involved?

You original post had, "the development of Y has seen X Inc. being involved in a wide range of activities". This, to me, conveyed the idea that X's involvement in a wide range of activities was made public by the development of Y.

So it seemed to me that X was surely involved in such activities well before the development of Y.

So I changed it to this to show that X Inc. became involved in the listed range of activities after the discovery and development of Y, which is what your last sentence says.

"the development of Y has seen X Inc. become involved in a wide range of activities"


Thank you, FounDit, for the explanation. And, what is the difference in meaning between "the development of Y has seen X Inc. being involved in a wide range of activities" and "the development of Y has seen X Inc. be involved in a wide range of activities" in the sentence above?

Main Forum RSS : RSS
Forum Terms and Guidelines | Privacy policy | Copyright © 2008-2019 Farlex, Inc. All rights reserved.