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Profile: Carmenex
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User Name: Carmenex
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Last Visit: Friday, November 16, 2018 10:04:20 AM
Number of Posts: 1,009
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  Last 10 Posts
Topic: about it
Posted: Friday, November 16, 2018 10:03:19 AM
Hi FounDit, I would like please to ask you which of the options in bold is preferable (and, if you would suggest any changes):
This commitment [to innovation] is exemplified by the high-reliability,/and custom-engineered nuclear components and systems developed by X Inc., resulting/(which has resulted) in the company being a leading industrial partner in the Y Research Centre.
Topic: about it
Posted: Friday, November 2, 2018 10:33:05 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi FounDit, I would please ask you if the collocation of please is correct in any (or each?) of the following sentences:
In ordinary speech, all might be said, but I think the second one is likely the most correct form. In essence, it says, "I would like, please (if you would kindly permit me), to ask you the following questions: ...

Another very common way might be: "May I please ask you the following questions:...

I would like to please ask you the following questions: ...
I would like please to ask you the following questions: ...
I would please like to ask you the following questions: ...


Thank you, FounDit, for the explanation. And, what follows the colon should not be capitalized and the questions should be separated by a semicolon, should it?
Would you use any, each or all in: I would please ask you if the collocation of please is correct in any, each or all of the following sentences: ...?
Topic: about it
Posted: Wednesday, October 31, 2018 3:29:16 PM
Hi FounDit, I would please ask you if the collocation of please is correct in any (or each?) of the following sentences:
I would like to please ask you the following questions: ...
I would like please to ask you the following questions: ...
I would please like to ask you the following questions: ...
Topic: as a result/because of
Posted: Sunday, October 28, 2018 9:21:39 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would like to please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct:
I suggest:

In particular, of the programs offered (is it required? It isn't required. It simply emphasizes the idea she reviewed them before selecting one, but could be omitted if desired)), she would prefer to join the X Program. Indeed, she values the the fast-paced nature of the X sector which, despite the gathering headwinds facing the economy and Brexit-related uncertainty, remains in good health as a result of an unceasing demand for high quality businesses from companies looking to consolidate their markets. That demand has been particularly high among overseas investors who, encouraged by the favorable exchange rate with sterling, are showing an increasing interest in mid-tier deals. There is nothing wrong with "growing interest", this is just a personal choice, but I'm not fond of inserting "especially" into the sentence or tacking it onto the end. It seems redundant to me.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your helpful advice. Only two questions: do you think that Indeed is required, or would it be better to omit it? Or, would you replace it with In fact?
In your opinion, can as a result of be replaced with one of the expressions in bold, as follows:
... of the X sector, which, despite ..., remains in good health (as?) supported/fueled/sustained by an unceasing demand for high quality businesses from companies looking to consolidate their markets.?
Topic: as a result/because of
Posted: Friday, October 26, 2018 8:19:06 AM
Hi, I would like to please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct:
In particular, of the programs offered (is it required?), she would prefer to join the X Program. Indeed, she values the vivacity and the fast-paced nature/character of the X sector which, despite the gathering headwinds facing the economy and Brexit-related uncertainty, remains in good health as a result/because of an unceasing demand for high quality businesses from companies looking to consolidate their markets. This/That demand has received additional push from the the favorable exchange rate with sterling, which attracted overseas investors who are showing a growing interest, especially, in mid-tier deals, especially. (or This/That demand has been particularly high among overseas investors who, encouraged by the favorable exchange rate with sterling, are showing a growing interest, especially, in mid-tier deals, especially.).
Topic: deriving from vs based on vs stemming from vs due to
Posted: Saturday, October 20, 2018 10:14:40 AM
leonAzul wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
• The study of financial mathematics and the consequent/stimulated interest in financial markets has motivated her to apply to X Inc. for a role in ... because she has learned that
- working in the commodity trading business requires mastering advanced and increasingly sophisticated modelling techniques; and (that?)
- a successful trader possesses an expertise (deriving from)/(based on)/(stemming from)/(due to) a large volume of financial transactions, a huge physical portfolio and the ability to develop a reliable proprietary derivatives valuation library.




I would like to make the following suggestions:

     The study of financial mathematics and its increasing application in financial markets has motivated her to apply to X Inc. for a role in ...

Your suggestions are grammatically correct, and might even sound authentic in the context of a job application form, but I believe that this is what you really want to say.

As a guide, jargon and buzz words are only useful when they concisely state a more complicated idea that is well-understood within a knowledge domain or craft.


     …because she understands that…

     a successful trader possesses the expertise to develop a reliable proprietary derivatives valuation library based on experience derived from a large volume of financial transactions, and a diverse portfolio.

This puts the ideas and verbs into a more logical sequence. It is an elaboration on the theme that "she" sees a position at "X Inc." as an opportunity to gain valuable experience for their mutual benefit.

Also, I strongly suspect you really don't think that most successful traders carry their "portfolio" in a physically huge satchel.


     The supply and trading Y graduate program, which combines training opportunities and hands-on work, along with the breadth of experience the company’s trading activity offers, would equip her with the desired professional skills and would facilitate her success at X Inc.


The phrase "along with the breadth of experience" just sounds smoother to me and underscores her motivation.

If I understand this correctly, "she" has not yet completed her program at "Y"; therefore it would not be a good idea to draw attention to "required" skills that are still in development.

Although they are synonyms in the dictionary, there is an emerging distinction between "facilitating" —encouraging and supporting achievement— and "enabling" — compensating for a lack of achievement. This is an example where a buzz word is useful.



Hi leonAzul, and thank you for your detailed suggestions. I agree with all of them, except for the use of breadth of experience the company’s trading activity offers in the last bullet point. She wants to point out the breadth/scope and significance of the company’s trading activity, which are the characteristics, mentioned in the previous bullet points, that contribute to making a trader successful. What do you think about:
The supply and trading Y graduate program, which combines training opportunities and hands-on work, along with the breadth (or scope) and significance of the company’s trading activity, would equip her with the desired professional skills and would facilitate her success at X Inc.?
Another question: shouldn't it be:
…because she has understood that…
since this understanding comes from the study of ...
Topic: deriving from vs based on vs stemming from vs due to
Posted: Friday, October 19, 2018 11:54:18 AM
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
• The study of financial mathematics and the consequent/stimulated interest in financial markets has motivated her to apply to X Inc. for a role in ... because she has learned that
- working in the commodity trading business requires mastering advanced and increasingly sophisticated modelling techniques; and (that?)
- a successful trader possesses an expertise (deriving from)/(based on)/(stemming from)/(due to) a large volume of financial transactions, a huge physical portfolio and the ability to develop a reliable proprietary derivatives valuation library.
• The supply and trading Y graduate program, which combines training opportunities and hands-on work, coupled with the breadth/scope and significance of the company’s trading activity, would equip her with the required professional skills, and would enable her to succeed at X Inc.
Topic: with
Posted: Thursday, October 11, 2018 9:34:05 AM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
I suggest:

She is attracted to the [company's name] Program because of the bank’s customer-centric culture. That culture is exemplified by the significant financial effort that the bank has produced to effectively tackle the mortgage tracker issue and make an offer of redress and compensation to virtually every single (single is redundant, and though commonly used in daily speech, I find it a bit out of place in a business setting) customer impacted. She also appreciates [company's name]’s capacity to recover from the financial crisis of 2008, and, after a period of restructuring, to achieve a strong financial position with a bold plan to boost lending, by channeling a significant percentage of its loan-book growth through international diversification.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. Do you mean that it would be better to just say: ... to virtually every customer impacted?
What do you think about replacing by channeling with including (or which includes), as follows:
... to achieve a strong financial position with a bold plan to boost lending, including (or which includes) a significant percentage of its loan-book growth through international diversification.?
Topic: with
Posted: Wednesday, October 10, 2018 10:12:23 AM
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
She is/(has been) attracted to the [company's name] Program by/(because of) the bank’s customer-centric culture. This/That culture is exemplified by the significant financial effort that the bank has produced to effectively tackle the mortgage tracker issue and make an offer of redress and compensation to virtually every single customer impacted. She also appreciates [company's name]’s capacity/capability to resurge/recover from the financial crisis in/of 2008, and, after a period of restructuring, to achieve a strong financial position with a bold plan to boost lending, with (any synonym to replace one of the two "with"?) a significant percentage of its loan-book growth being through international diversification.
Topic: about it
Posted: Friday, October 5, 2018 4:17:00 PM
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following:
There are a few issues with your word choices, in my opinion.
The first is the idea of striving to "deliver on" work. I suggest changing this to striving to "deliver on my work responsibilities".

Secondly, saying, "I will not manage to do it" creates the idea that you may choose not to honor your responsibility. I think a better choice of words would be "If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks".

And lastly, I think "follow up" should be reworded.

These changes would then read as:
"I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on my work responsibilities. If, for any reason, I am unable to complete my assigned tasks, I will quickly inform any of my colleagues who may be affected".

I will strive to keep my commitments, and to deliver on work. If, for any reason, I will not manage to do it, I will be honest about it (it is clear what "it" is referred to?) with these colleagues, and, therefore, I will follow up with the anyone who can be affected.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your advice. And, would you suggest not using I will not manage to do it because will can mean want to, or for another reason?
If you use ... unable to ..., should it not be If, for any reason, I will be unable to ...?
Why is follow up not appropriate?

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