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Profile: Audiendus
User Name: Audiendus
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
Interests: Language, philosophy, music
Gender: Male
Home Page
Joined: Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Last Visit: Friday, June 21, 2019 11:14:26 PM
Number of Posts: 5,694
[0.60% of all post / 1.99 posts per day]
  Last 10 Posts
Topic: RPG
Posted: Monday, May 20, 2019 10:02:14 AM
Heavenly Dream

I dreamed I went to paradise and walked among the saints;
It seemed a rather dull milieu, but none expressed complaints.
They understood that sinners like myself would find it odd
That purest pleasure should consist in contemplating God.
They chided me for liking hymns with chords they found profane;
Their chants used only fourths and fifths, which sounded rather plain.
Some haloed folk had been there almost since the time of Adam;
These venerable souls were all addressed as 'Sir' or 'Madam'.
I asked if Scripture told events exactly as they were;
"Of course not", they replied, "for mortal copyists can err".
I wondered if they felt some pity for the damned in Hell;
"Oh no", they said, "those villains had it coming, so all's well".
In short, they took a highly sanctimonious position;
But such an attitude, perhaps, is theirs by definition.

Some angels hurried past, with urgent missives of some kind;
Their robes were fluorescent white, their features ill-defined.
The angelologists were wrong, with all the grades they listed;
Archangels flew, and seraphim, but no more ranks existed.
One told me that the messages they laboured to disperse
Would be received by Christian worlds around the universe.
He said: "Although the Lord made heaven and earth in six days flat,
Your ancient scribes were unaware he made more after that.
To reach these planets, we perform much interstellar flight,
With wings designed to operate beyond the speed of light".
I saw no harps or trumpets, but some angels carried flutes,
And one or two, off duty, played exotic riffs on lutes.
They undertook no guardian duties: they were born to travel.
Alas! my long-held preconceptions started to unravel.

I reached the inner sanctum, whither Jesus Christ ascended –
A scene so overwhelming that my dream abruptly ended.
I dreamed another night about God's transcendental glory;
The things he told me blew my mind – but that's another story.
Topic: Is the question natural and appropriate? (12)
Posted: Sunday, May 19, 2019 9:56:36 AM
DavidLearn wrote:
Does Amy think Beijing is ugly?
No, she doesn't.

I would say that she thinks Beijing is ugly, but that it has real character.

To get the answer you are looking for, I think you need a more general word, e.g. "Does Amy think Beijing is [a] bad [place to live]?
Posted: Sunday, May 19, 2019 8:05:51 AM
Topic: Words forever
Posted: Sunday, May 19, 2019 8:00:22 AM
Topic: Game with verbs
Posted Thursday, May 16, 2019 8:45:56 AM
Topic: Words forever
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2019 8:40:51 AM
Topic: Repeated word
Posted: Thursday, May 16, 2019 8:26:38 AM
I can't think straight straight after a big meal.
Topic: Clerihews
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2019 9:17:34 PM
King John
Unfortunately sat upon
The English throne in his palace,
Where he showed both incompetence and malice.

Johann Sebastian Bach
Exclaimed Teutonically: "Ach!"
The cause of his displeasure
Was a wrong chord in the 173rd measure.

Dr Wernher von Braun
Of rocket-building renown
Was welcomed by NASA with few questions asked,
But his Nazi past has now been unmasked.
Topic: Limericks
Posted Wednesday, May 15, 2019 8:57:16 PM
In Libya, no-one complains
If the sky fills with cloud and it rains.
A vigorous storm
Contrasts with the norm
Of sun over hot desert plains.

There was a young boy on a farm
Who thought: "It will do little harm
If I run up and pull
The tail of that bull".
Alas, he lost half his right arm.

When Jesus was just a small lad,
Some said: "He looks just like his dad!"
Said Mary: "That's odd,
'Cause his father is God!"
They probably thought she'd gone mad.

When many large stores were first founded,
Plain wood and glass panels abounded.
But now they've had drastic
Refitting with plastic,
Our forebears would be quite astounded.
Topic: Say It Differently Game
Posted: Wednesday, May 15, 2019 8:43:46 PM
And now for something completely different.

Please, madam, you are disturbing other customers.

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