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Profile: Amybal
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User Name: Amybal
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Joined: Thursday, February 8, 2018
Last Visit: Friday, July 20, 2018 3:41:23 PM
Number of Posts: 220
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Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 3:41:23 PM
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?

Short summary
When two sisters come across an Ouija board in an empty house while on holiday, they decide to play it. At first nothing happens, but then night falls, something starts terrorising them.

Long summary
Angel and Clarissa move to a new place with their mother Ratih after their parents' divorce. Wanting her daughters to adapt to their new friends and surroundings, Ratih lets them go on a holiday with their friends. The two sisters come across an Ouija board in an empty house while on holiday and decide to play with it. At first nothing happens but when night comes, something else comes along with it to terrorise the unsuspecting sisters.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 3:41:22 PM
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?

Short summary
When two sisters come across an Ouija board in an empty house while on holiday, they decide to play it. At first nothing happens, but then night falls, something starts terrorising them.

Long summary
Angel and Clarissa move to a new place with their mother Ratih after their parents' divorce. Wanting her daughters to adapt to their new friends and surroundings, Ratih lets them go on a holiday with their friends. The two sisters come across an Ouija board in an empty house while on holiday and decide to play with it. At first nothing happens but when night comes, something else comes along with it to terrorise the unsuspecting sisters.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 3:01:16 PM
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?

Short summary
When a political leader tries to grab the land of a big slum in Mumbai, a gangster rises to the occasion and takes his people on a journey to resist the politcian’s plans, like a true leader.

Long summary
Karikalan is a demigod in the Dharavi slum area of Mumbai. Many corporate companies keep trying to evacuate the slum and build new age constructions in that area but Karikalan and his group always stop it from happening. But things get tough for Karikalan with the entry of Hari Das, Maharashtra Minister and Mumbai Don. This leads to a war between the two. How Karikalan protected Dharavi area from Hari Das and how he comes out victorious in his mission?

Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 3:00:51 PM
OK, no surprise: I'd cut it into 2 sentences. A full stop after "years" and then..."He discovers that.....". Otherwise it all gets a bit top-heavy with commas.

Thanks for this, Romany.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 1:36:38 PM
Thank you FounDit and Romany for the suggestion.

I agree that "returned home to discover" fits best
This is absolutly good.

One more question, when we say Hussein returns home...to discover that...", there is no comma between years and to, right?

Zombi Kampung Pisang's hero, Hussein, is finally home after working in Singapore for years to discover that his neighbor, Limah, has been dead for days and has been haunting the whole village.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 1:32:25 PM
Thank you, Drag0nspeaker.

"comeback" is a noun. "Come back" is a verb.

I think we have talked about this in my previous tread. Again, I did the same mistake. My bad :-( sorry.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 1:30:10 PM
Thank you, Drag0nspeaker, S. Ilker Orsel and Parpar1836.

The first thing I saw - which really stood out - was 'reign'.
A king reigns, or a queen or emperor.

A Prime Minister presides or serves (most correctly, he serves - he is the first amongst a group of equal civil servants). He does not rule or reign.


I learned something new today. Thank you.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 5:44:44 AM
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentence?

Short summary
After the failure of the nuclear bomb test explosions conducted by India in 1995, Ashwath Raina an IAS officer gets a second chance in 1998 at the new reign of PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee.

Long summary
In 1995, Ashwath Raina an IAS officer, suggests that India conduct its own set of nuclear tests to stay ahead in the nuclear race with China and Pakistan. But unexpectedly, the initial test fails due to the pressure of America, Ashwath Raina gets a second chance in 1998 under the new reign of then PM Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 5:37:24 AM
Thank you, Drag0nspeaker.

I prefer to use this with lower caps.

"the muezzin, Pak Abu".
Topic: Grammar
Posted: Friday, July 20, 2018 2:45:57 AM
Thank you, FounDit.

Who, or what is Zombi Kampung Pisang? I can't find how that fits into the narrative since Hussein lives in Banana Village, according to the Long Summary.

"Kampung Pisang" is a village name known as "Banana Village" too.

I agree with your points. I've decided to omit the word " Zombie" in short summary and change the Banana village to " Kampung Pisang" in long version to avoid confusion. . For shor one, it could read better as:

Kampung Pisang's hero, Hussein, is finally home after working in Singapore for years, just to...

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