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Profile: Amybal
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User Name: Amybal
Forum Rank: Advanced Member
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Joined: Thursday, February 8, 2018
Last Visit: Wednesday, January 23, 2019 1:21:46 PM
Number of Posts: 483
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  Last 10 Posts
Topic: A couple that lead...
Posted: Wednesday, January 23, 2019 1:21:46 PM
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
A couple that lead a multi generational love story spanning both decades and continents, from the streets of New York to the Spanish countryside, and are all connected by a single event.

Long summary
College sweethearts Will and Abby fall in love, get married and prepare to bring their first child into the world. As their story unfolds in New York, fate links them to a group of people in Seville, Spain, including a troubled young woman, a man and his granddaughter, a wealthy landowner and a plantation manager.
Topic: When the government...
Posted: Wednesday, January 23, 2019 12:25:20 PM
Thank you FounDit.

moving it closer to the action works better.

Try this:
On a normal day, as life continues in Chennai, all the mobile phones in the city suddenly fly away. People, as well as the government, are panic struck. As confusion prevails, the phones take the shape of an enormous bird that begins to destroy the city. Soon, the scientists Dr. Vaseegaran is called to investigate this case. When he learns that the bird is powered by the aura of a human being, which exudes negative energy, he activates his andro humanoid robot, Chitti to fight the threat.

Topic: When a group of...
Posted: Wednesday, January 23, 2019 11:47:17 AM
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences? And does the short one related to long one?

Short summary
When a group of terrorists take over a village and hold the villagers hostage, Inspector Sani and Inspector Khai have to deal with the situation.

Long summary
A group of terrorists have taken over a village and are holding the villagers hostage. Special Forces from Malaysia and Indonesia are tasked with handling the incident but their mission fails. Now it is up to Inspector Sani and Inspector Khai to save the hostages and at the same time, take down the terrorist group.
Topic: When the government...
Posted: Tuesday, January 22, 2019 11:23:15 AM
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Shory summary
When the government faces a threat that is beyond what is currently comprehensible in the world of science, it turns to Dr. Vaseegaran for help, who then suggests that they assemble Chitti to fight the threat.

Long summary
On a normal day as life continues in Chennai, suddenly all the mobile phones in the city fly away. People and the government are panic struck. As confusion prevails the phones take the shape of an enormous bird and comes to destroy the city. Dr Vasigaran then activates his andro humanoid robot, Chitti who comes back to life to save the people from the evil force.
Topic: Short in stature...
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 10:08:48 PM
Thank you RuthP. I will try to change rework on the last line.
Topic: Short in stature...
Posted: Monday, January 21, 2019 11:56:55 AM
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
Short in stature but big on love, a bachelor meets two very different women who broaden his horizons and help him find a purpose in life.


Long summary
A vertically challenged man, Bauua Singh is full of charm and wit and with a pinch of arrogance as he is born to a wealthy family and raised in an environment of affluence and indulgence. But when he meets two women, his experiences with them takes him on a journey to complete his incompleteness and broaden his horizons to find a purpose in life.
Topic: A police officer...
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2019 10:00:07 PM
Good catch, thank you ozok.
Topic: Langgir Janala...
Posted: Wednesday, January 16, 2019 9:58:54 PM
Thank you FounDit.
Topic: A gripping documentary...
Posted: Tuesday, January 15, 2019 10:01:37 AM
Thank you Drag for the feedback. All the changes are acceptable. But just one thing in the long summary of second line. Can I say " And the".. instead of "we following"?

And the investigations conducted by journalists from The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and The Hollywood Reporter, who all worked to uncover the scandal.
Topic: A police officer...
Posted: Tuesday, January 15, 2019 7:13:49 AM
Thank you very much Drag.Your explanation is very useful and it will make me to reduce my mistakes.

(In the short summary, you call him Redzuan, and in the long one, Ridzuan.)
Definitely it's a spelling mistake.

However, "but" does not need the comma.
Both however and but don't need the comma or only for but does not need the comma?

Would you mind to check my other thread please, link as below.

https://forum.thefreedictionary.com/postst188199_A-gripping-documentary---.aspx

Thank you.

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