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yathuplays
Posted: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 10:08:22 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/4/2015
Posts: 77
Neurons: 19,479
Location: Thornhill, Ontario, Canada
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?
A: "Cheap, cheap!"
yathuplays
Posted: Wednesday, February 17, 2016 10:09:11 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/4/2015
Posts: 77
Neurons: 19,479
Location: Thornhill, Ontario, Canada
Joe asked God, "How much is a penny worth in heaven?"
God replied, "$1 million."
Joe asked, "How long is a minute in heaven?"
God said, "One million years."
Joe asked for a penny.
God said, "Sure, in a minute.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, February 20, 2016 2:50:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
Applause




“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Wednesday, February 24, 2016 5:25:26 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,030
Neurons: 513,060
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Monday, February 29, 2016 6:38:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada









“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
black alonso
Posted: Tuesday, March 1, 2016 7:42:51 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/21/2015
Posts: 7,063
Neurons: 36,177
Location: Heidelberg, Baden-Wuerttemberg Region, Germany


real men don't click
anton exobio
Posted: Tuesday, March 1, 2016 7:57:27 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 16,955
Neurons: 56,491
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France


"I got a haircut and no one noticed." - William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, March 24, 2016 6:59:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,859
Neurons: 50,762
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada


"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons." Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, March 24, 2016 7:04:03 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,859
Neurons: 50,762
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada


"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons." Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, March 26, 2016 6:48:25 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, March 26, 2016 6:53:39 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,859
Neurons: 50,762
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada


"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons." Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Tovarish
Posted: Saturday, March 26, 2016 8:12:23 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 11,109
Neurons: 39,933
Location: Booligal, New South Wales, Australia
A stand up comic in Australia, speaking about the US elections,......yes I know that in its self is funny.

He opined.....Ted Cruz does not believe in evolution........and Donald Trump proves it......
IMcRout
Posted: Sunday, March 27, 2016 5:10:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,382
Neurons: 563,379
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Applause

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Hope123
Posted: Sunday, March 27, 2016 1:05:38 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,859
Neurons: 50,762
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Good one, Tov.



"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons." Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, March 27, 2016 1:45:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
Things You'll Never Hear A Woman Say

What do you mean today's our anniversary?
The new girl in my office is a stripper,I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
You're so sexy when you're hungover.
Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!!
Can we not talk to each other tonight?
I'm tired of cuddling. !
I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.
Your mother is way better than mine.
Honey, does this outfit make my ass look too small?
I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
I'd rather just watch TV.
I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
I think hairy butts are really sexy.
Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".
I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
I'm wrong. You must be right again.



“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, April 16, 2016 1:35:49 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Annelise Carlsen
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2016 8:17:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/25/2016
Posts: 315
Neurons: 7,781
Location: Lundby Stationsby, Zealand, Denmark
A duck enters a grocery store in a little village and walks up to the counter:
Duck: "Do you have any corn?"
Owner: "No, I'm sorry - we don't sell corn"
The duck leaves.

Next day, the duck is back:
Duck: "Do you have any corn?"
Owner: "No! We still don't sell corn!"
The duck leaves.

On the third day, the duck is back in the grocery store again:
Duck: "Do you have any corn?"
Owner: "NO!! We don't have any @#&!! corn! And if you come back and ask again tomorrow, I will nail your godd... feet to the floor! COMPRENDE??!"
The duck silently nods and leaves

Well, on the fourth day, the duck is back again!
Duck: "Do you have any nails?"
Owner: "No, we don't have nails."
Duck: "Do you have any corn then..?"
CatCat
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2016 2:24:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/15/2014
Posts: 985
Neurons: 15,410
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov last night and on the table was a checked tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Monday, April 18, 2016 5:07:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2016 12:26:37 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Friday, April 22, 2016 3:49:42 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,030
Neurons: 513,060
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Humble B'
Posted: Friday, April 22, 2016 6:58:48 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/13/2015
Posts: 541
Neurons: 152,585
Location: Oosterbeek, Gelderland, Netherlands
What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?

˙ʇʇnq sʇI


Full merrily the humble-bee doth sing...
Schlook Inside
Posted: Friday, April 22, 2016 3:50:18 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
IMcRout
Posted: Saturday, April 23, 2016 1:45:41 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,382
Neurons: 563,379
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
If Trump won the election, it'd be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family!

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
CatCat
Posted: Saturday, April 23, 2016 11:03:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/15/2014
Posts: 985
Neurons: 15,410
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, April 24, 2016 1:26:50 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Tuesday, May 3, 2016 1:43:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Humble B'
Posted: Tuesday, May 3, 2016 4:24:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/13/2015
Posts: 541
Neurons: 152,585
Location: Oosterbeek, Gelderland, Netherlands


Full merrily the humble-bee doth sing...
Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, May 5, 2016 4:34:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada








“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Friday, May 6, 2016 4:45:06 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Wednesday, June 8, 2016 4:05:25 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,030
Neurons: 513,060
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Lotje1000
Posted: Wednesday, June 8, 2016 6:23:07 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 11/3/2014
Posts: 1,062
Neurons: 574,676
Location: Leuven, Flanders, Belgium
A psychic midget escaped from prison last night. He's a small medium at large.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, June 14, 2016 5:00:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,030
Neurons: 513,060
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Tuesday, June 14, 2016 6:39:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 36,596
Neurons: 1,401,740
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


“The lion doesn’t turn around when the small dog barks.” – African Proverb.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Wednesday, June 15, 2016 5:49:58 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 43,030
Neurons: 513,060
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
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