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Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Thursday, September 22, 2016 6:04:43 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
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Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Thursday, September 22, 2016 7:43:06 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Schlook Inside
Posted: Sunday, September 25, 2016 4:50:23 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, October 01, 2016 2:39:18 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
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Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Monday, October 03, 2016 7:25:00 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
Neurons: 265,027
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
FROSTY X RIME
Posted: Monday, October 03, 2016 8:03:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/20/2015
Posts: 942
Neurons: 9,824
Schlook Inside wrote:


Schlook hit the jackpot again! It's HILARIOUS!
I came to wonder how come some people have to be soooo creative as to come up with idea like that!

I would call this type of humour "reversed victim syndrome" or "victim's revenge syndrome".


P.S. DEAR JJ

Your image right above this post is not visible to me.

What should be shall be-The fellowship of the ring-
FROSTY X RIME
Posted: Tuesday, October 04, 2016 4:46:41 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/20/2015
Posts: 942
Neurons: 9,824
It is Gary Larson's, isn't it, Schlook?

What should be shall be-The fellowship of the ring-
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Thursday, October 06, 2016 7:46:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
Neurons: 265,027
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland




In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, October 08, 2016 1:31:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada




"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
MelissaMe
Posted: Wednesday, October 12, 2016 9:10:15 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/10/2014
Posts: 5,336
Neurons: 340,055
Location: Gualala, California, United States


This is my only now.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Thursday, October 13, 2016 4:13:38 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
Neurons: 265,027
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, October 15, 2016 1:52:36 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, October 15, 2016 1:55:03 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
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Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
FROSTY X RIME wrote:
It is Gary Larson's, isn't it, Schlook?



I can't remember who did that one,it's very well done indeed.

"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
FROSTY X RIME
Posted: Monday, October 17, 2016 10:22:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 10/20/2015
Posts: 942
Neurons: 9,824


I am quite surprised blonde women are made into numerous joke for their being dumb-they have even their own section separate in jokes- because I saw quite many a prominent woman politician is blonde.
They should be clever to be top politicians, aren't they?

Don't they get mad at this and threaten to sue joke makers for being sexists and hairist-I coined the word. So you neither saw it before nor it won't be in the dictionary-?






What should be shall be-The fellowship of the ring-
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, November 04, 2016 12:33:49 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 26,242
Neurons: 139,836
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
A relatively new one and an old one.





Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, November 05, 2016 2:00:38 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Hope123
Posted: Sunday, November 06, 2016 8:21:56 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
How true!



I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, November 12, 2016 5:45:28 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada


"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 8:09:38 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
JJ, Thanks, I just noticed your last joke. You have no idea how tempted I have been to post it!

I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2016 8:14:16 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Fitting for a Grammar website -

Subject: Sex and Good Grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
The old man handed a potion to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'." When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,'" the medicine man responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

The man was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he quickly took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes as she asked "What was the 1-2-3 for?"


And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
IMcRout
Posted: Wednesday, November 16, 2016 12:41:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 33,213
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Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Applause Applause Applause

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, November 17, 2016 7:39:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada


I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Schlook Inside
Posted: Saturday, November 26, 2016 12:04:55 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/27/2014
Posts: 27,993
Neurons: 937,868
Location: Montréal, Quebec, Canada
Four words you should never say on a first date.











My diaper is leaking.

"Be kind everyone is fighting a hard battle"
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Wednesday, November 30, 2016 6:17:31 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
Neurons: 265,027
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Hope123
Posted: Friday, January 06, 2017 9:25:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Probably not true but I think they nailed it! I think I remember seeing this joke before.






I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Hope123
Posted: Monday, January 09, 2017 4:31:56 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
I remember reading this story of a family having dinner. The father drops a piece of cutlery and instinctively utters the F-word. The child soaking up the new vocabulary, repeats the word, and the parent corrects her, “No, Suzie, it’s called a ‘fork’.”

I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Hope123
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2017 7:31:34 PM

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Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Climate change is not the only detrimental effect caused by deforestation -




I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Hope123
Posted: Thursday, February 09, 2017 5:43:54 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Guess I am playing this game all by myself!



I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Friday, February 10, 2017 4:57:32 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
Neurons: 265,027
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
You're not alone, Hope. It's just difficult to bump into a good joke everyday ;-)

Finland second


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
jacobusmaximus
Posted: Friday, February 10, 2017 7:21:06 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/17/2009
Posts: 10,655
Neurons: 317,598
Location: Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom
An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbour that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning. She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
Hope123
Posted: Sunday, February 12, 2017 7:55:46 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote:
You're not alone, Hope. It's just difficult to bump into a good joke everyday ;-)

Finland second


Loved that. It was perfect!

I get jokes every day from email friends but some I can't post. :)

JCB, my laugh for the day.

I got several clean ones today - here's one.




I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Hope123
Posted: Monday, February 13, 2017 7:53:39 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada




I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, February 14, 2017 8:02:11 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 38,304
Neurons: 265,027
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland




In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, February 14, 2017 7:44:22 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada


I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, February 14, 2017 7:45:20 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 6,210
Neurons: 36,962
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada


I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can.
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