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Useless machine Options
Bowdenii
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 11:00:21 AM

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I thought this was so funny!

The Most Useless Machine
uuaschbaer
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 2:26:04 PM

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Brilliant, I love it!

This might be the most unnecessarily complicated machine: http://youtu.be/8EYbGQx5_gs

*
Yakcal
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 2:41:29 PM

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Useless, perhaps; and yet I must have one for myself!



Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. -Oscar Wilde
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 3:19:04 PM

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Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Have you ever seen Bonk machines?
They are absolutely useless (except they are pieces of art ;-)

Here's Bonk Raba Hiff:




In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
RuthP
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 4:07:56 PM

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Location: Drain, Oregon, United States
The useless machine in the OP reminds me of these:
As you slide the top of the box back, the snake comes up and strikes your finger. It's hard to see in the picture, but there is a little wire 'fang' sticking out of the snake.
excaelis
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 6:32:47 PM

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Sanity is not statistical
Epiphileon
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 8:46:30 PM

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uuaschbaer wrote:
Brilliant, I love it!

This might be the most unnecessarily complicated machine: http://youtu.be/8EYbGQx5_gs


Rube Goldberg would be envious.

Question authority. How do you know, that you know, what you know?
LostinSC
Posted: Friday, March 29, 2013 10:14:39 PM

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Ex..

I didn't know Ford was still making the Pinto in 1980..

I bought a new 1970 American Motors (brand name Nash) Hornet for $1994 and the new '70 Pinto was selling for $1995...

Believe me, neither was a bargin.

Later, while working with an automotive engineering group, I discovered the 1964 Ford Falcon was and/still considered the perfect standard for engineering excellence. Every component was designed to last 48 months and then be subject to failure - after the warranty expired.

Ahh, the perfect answer to the profit motive.. T'aint bad, huh?






The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. H. L. Mencken
Klaas V
Posted: Friday, April 5, 2013 6:11:46 PM

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The opposite is possible. A useless keyboard turned into useful household articles ;-)

CtrlAltDel

O well, Boney M (nicknamed Money B) I've seen in concert (around 2005) for nostalgia and they were singing this song for kindergarten kids
together their hits like "Rivers of Babylo" (Advice: turn off the volume, I'm sure you won't like it)

1,2,3,4...



With maybe the exception of the unasked there just isn't such thing available as a dumb question - Z4us
RRP
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 10:41:27 AM
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excaelis wrote:


When I was younger like 6 to ahem later…I made up a Buck Rogers type of fictional character that escaped being killed in a war by imprisoning himself in a tube for 3000+ years that fed him martial arts training and whatnot. His car of choice from his timeline was a lime green pinto and the Saab drakko for flying (I would gather due to its delta wing). He would taunt the evil alien armies by crashing into their tanks with his "poison" pinto. And oh yes..he was too cool to hang out with. The good guy army would often call him for special ops and he would often have to save them from being overrun. His ridiculously clever skills in karate, gravity and polarity...so dark and complex. you don't even know!

Anyways..he..like..had this one friend from the good guy army of his that he would team up with. It was weird because their names rhymed for some stupid reason. (I'm not sure if they ever discussed that or not..) In fact now that I think about it the main character sounds like he had ego problems. Right, so anyways they end up fighting this one Japanese guy (one of two left on earth, because the aliens were afraid of them for some reason and exterminated Japan first) that thought the good guys killed his last remaining brother or something. Anyways the main characters friend (the one that rhymes) gets killed by him and there’s all this epic depth I could work with due to all the time I had spent on it. Course it didn't help that my dad came in the room and threw a laundry basket at my head for acting like a jackass. My head bounced back and there was this awkward silence for a while.

-fini
Luftmarque
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 11:20:18 AM

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@RRP: brought tears to my eyes…

}- Luftmarque لوفتمارك -{ Le doute n'est pas une condition agréable, mais la certitude est absurde.—Voltaire
RRP
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 12:19:06 PM
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Yeah. It was hard doing the improvisational flashback sequence because I never wrote anything down either.

-fini
excaelis
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 12:29:56 PM

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Wow ! So your Dad was a minion of the evil Emperor Zharkon too ? What are the odds ?

Sanity is not statistical
RRP
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 1:10:24 PM
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Not sure if I was mature enough to appreciate the interruption, but it right rockin changed the tempo pretty quick.

:|



-fini
excaelis
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 1:13:39 PM

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Laundry basket, death ray...same diff.

Sanity is not statistical
RRP
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 1:21:58 PM
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sofa cushion=cinder block

-fini
TYSON
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2013 8:07:08 AM

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Location: Melbourne, Australia
What about this one?
Useful if it works, however I doubt that it does.

Iran: We have a time machine

I think therefore I think I am
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2013 10:37:03 AM

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Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland



In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Tovarish
Posted: Saturday, April 13, 2013 8:44:21 PM

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This lady is not sitting on her side saddle correctly.

The right leg goes around the saddle horn on the side, then back to the near side or her left, esentually giving you two legs on one side.

It was considered 'unlady like' for a lady to ride astride, or to divide her legs.

A side saddle is a scary saddle, with no leg aides on the off or right side.

If you get thrown to the off side there is no way to get your left foot out of the sterrip iron.

Side saddles were invented by men of course.

This looks like the machanical bull you get in Pubs.
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 4:07:58 AM

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But it gives complete cure for obesity, hysteria, and gout ;-)


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Tovarish
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 6:26:10 AM

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and liver too.....

a miracle machine, but you could always buy a horse.
uuaschbaer
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 7:46:29 AM

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Well well well... Her Excellency the Countess of Aberdeen has a vulgar sense of humour. (Under H.R.H the Princess of Wales.)

*
Tovarish
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 8:11:48 AM

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Sorry UB, too deep for me, you will have to translate.
uuaschbaer
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 8:44:09 AM

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It's a bit hard to read but I think it says Her Excellency the Countess of Aberdeen writes: "That the saddle has given her complete satisfaction."


I'm fairly childish. That's all. Whistle

*
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 12:12:46 PM

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So THIS machine is not at all useless ;-)


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Luftmarque
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 12:15:30 PM

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I think I saw the modern version of the Horse-Action Saddle in a video. On the internet. By mistake, of course.

}- Luftmarque لوفتمارك -{ Le doute n'est pas une condition agréable, mais la certitude est absurde.—Voltaire
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 12:19:35 PM

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Did that video have anything to compare with Edie arriving at five thirty?


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Luftmarque
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 12:23:20 PM

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Location: Pau, Aquitaine, France
Now that you mention it, it did!

}- Luftmarque لوفتمارك -{ Le doute n'est pas une condition agréable, mais la certitude est absurde.—Voltaire
Tovarish
Posted: Sunday, April 14, 2013 7:12:59 PM

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Thats what pommels are for......to "give complete satisfaction".....some say it is why ladies ride.
RRP
Posted: Monday, April 15, 2013 11:34:01 PM
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Since we are discussing horses and whatnot…entropy.

I was trying work out the animation for a horse gallop and noticed
the sequence from walk to gallop naturally turns perpendicular. In this case Λ representing direction, n(1,2,3,4) meaning the sequence number and Ω representing the ground contact. (omegas look like horseshoes)

walk Λ 360

2 Ω 4 Ω
1 Ω 3 Ω

gallop Λ 360

3 Ω 4 Ω
1 Ω 2 Ω


So fine..whatever. Horse galloping around who cares whatever right…

But take another looksy….

gallop Λ 360 = walk Λ 090 (perpendicular sequence)

By this same assumption…a horse is really walking east when it gallops to the north! Nothing ever moves.

Run..everyone.


:O <-- terror. Horribilous terrorz!!




-fini
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Monday, April 22, 2013 7:25:06 PM

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In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
early_apex
Posted: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 9:14:45 AM

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Jyrkkä Jätkä wrote:



Meanwhile, the poor horse gets no exercise (or satisfaction) at all!

"Shut up, she explained." - Ring Lardner
early_apex
Posted: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 9:16:44 AM

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Tovarish wrote:
Thats what pommels are for......to "give complete satisfaction".....some say it is why ladies ride.


I suppose you could get by if you could only afford the pommels and not a horse...

"Shut up, she explained." - Ring Lardner
uuaschbaer
Posted: Tuesday, April 23, 2013 11:34:41 AM

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