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OXYMORA Options
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, July 01, 2015 5:43:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
BRITISH GENDARME



In mediaeval times, the British gents d'armes were called "knights", but the French probably called them British Gendarmes (amongst other, less publishable, names).

E F F I C I E N T C O M M I T T E E


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Audiendus
Posted: Wednesday, July 01, 2015 9:06:02 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
"In order to make this an efficient committee", said the chairman, "you will all agree to whatever I decide".


POLYSYLLABIC SIMPLICITY
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Monday, July 06, 2015 12:54:32 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,663
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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

It's no use resorting to polysyllabic inanities to impress the boss in meetings - you need a polysyllabic simplicity or two.

GENTLE HURRICANE

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Audiendus
Posted: Monday, July 06, 2015 10:15:52 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
The Met Office rejected the suggestion that the description of Force 11 be changed from "Violent Storm" to "Gentle Hurricane".


WAGNERIAN COMEDY
IMcRout
Posted: Tuesday, July 07, 2015 4:50:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 32,768
Neurons: 427,560
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
If it weren't for the missing Valkyries, Woody Allen's early comedies might almost be called Wagnerian.

D I V I N E O R D I N A R I N E S S

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, July 08, 2015 1:03:09 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,663
Neurons: 134,759
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
After twenty-five years of being a celebrity, she had plastic surgery to change her face and retired into the bliss of divine ordinaryness.

(Shouldn't it be 'ordinaritude'?)

BUCOLIC HIGH-TECH

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Audiendus
Posted: Saturday, July 11, 2015 12:26:37 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
(Shouldn't it be 'ordinaritude'?)

Wiktionary gives 'ordinarity' as a rare alternative, but not 'ordinaritude'. Eh?


The Archimedean screw was an early example of bucolic high-tech.

NAIVE FOX
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, July 17, 2015 11:45:53 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
That's a shame - I like the sound of ordinaritude. Boo hoo!

It's a naive fox who thinks he's safe just because the anti-blood-sports rally is on today.

VIN - Very Important Nobody

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Audiendus
Posted: Monday, July 20, 2015 8:55:32 AM
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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
The one millionth visitor to the show will be presented with a VIN medallion (and a bottle of vin ordinaire).


HALFHEARTED CRUSADE
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Monday, July 20, 2015 1:26:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 11,440
Neurons: 73,097
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
She ran a halfhearted crusade for the pro-lifers till she found she was herself pregnant.

ALMOST EXACTLY

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
Audiendus
Posted: Monday, July 20, 2015 6:48:05 PM
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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Don Bradman's batting average in Test Matches was almost exactly 100 (it was 99.94).


BOILED ICE
Absurdicuss
Posted: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 6:30:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/8/2013
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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

Boiled ice - It's the fabulous, new, all season miracle cube guaranteed to cool you in the summer and warm you in the winter.

Add boiled ice to your favorite beverage for a unique drinking experience.


INFINITE LIMITATIONS

"Now" is the eternal present.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Wednesday, July 22, 2015 1:07:07 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
The General Theory of Relativity, appealing as it seems, has infinite limitations.

Global Village

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, July 24, 2015 12:01:01 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
In the Global Village of one hundred people, thirty would be white and thirty would be Christian (not necessarily the same thirty).

MASSIVE IOTA


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Absurdicuss
Posted: Friday, July 24, 2015 10:00:10 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

Said the naive fox in a halfhearted crusade to define the infinite limitations facing a global village "we've dispatched with every jot and tittle only to stumble over a massive iota".

OVERT SECRET


"Now" is the eternal present.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, July 26, 2015 7:36:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,663
Neurons: 134,759
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Absurdicuss wrote:

Said the naive fox in a halfhearted crusade to define the infinite limitations facing a global village "we've dispatched with every jot and tittle only to stumble over a massive iota".

Applause Applause Applause


She proudly boasted that no-one knew her real age, it was a totally overt secret.

INERT REACTANT


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Absurdicuss
Posted: Tuesday, July 28, 2015 11:28:47 AM

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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States
In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded; apparently the result of an inert reactant collapsing from nothing into something at an infinitesimal point* within the quantum field.


Credit JJ for his fabulous and my personal favorite signature - followed closely by the Mae West quote.


AUTHENTIC FORGERY


*nother oxy?

"Now" is the eternal present.
Audiendus
Posted: Tuesday, July 28, 2015 10:09:13 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Absurdicuss wrote:
*nother oxy?

More a tautology, I think.


The original artist drew so many copies of the picture that it is hard to know whether this one is an authentic forgery.

RIGOROUS VAGUENESS
Absurdicuss
Posted: Friday, August 07, 2015 6:16:04 AM

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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

Proceeding in rigorous vagueness that was matched only by their infinitely pointless research, the idiot scientists pressed onward.


ORDERED CHAOS






"Now" is the eternal present.
IMcRout
Posted: Friday, August 07, 2015 9:42:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
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Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Having regained his balance from stumbling over that massive iota on his half-hearted crusade, our naive fox and his fellow morons concentrated on disarranging the ordered chaos they encountered, only to lapse once more into

INDUSTRIOUS SLOTH

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, August 07, 2015 7:01:45 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Playing computer games all day is a form of industrious sloth.


SOLID GHOST
Absurdicuss
Posted: Saturday, August 08, 2015 7:24:57 AM

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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

Through thick fog lit white beneath a full moon night I was petrified to behold, a chimerical form yet sharp and bold, whose tears could be seen rolling down a cold wet headstone, the soul of a solid ghost.


CONSTANTLY INTERMITTENT

"Now" is the eternal present.
Audiendus
Posted: Saturday, August 08, 2015 8:35:29 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
A steady westerly wind blew broken cloud across the sky all afternoon, so the sunshine was constantly intermittent.


JUNGLE COWBOY
Absurdicuss
Posted: Sunday, August 23, 2015 11:14:03 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/8/2013
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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

Swinging in on a vine, and a loud Tarzan yodel, your boot-clad, six-shooter wielding, loin cloth wearing, jungle cowboy wrangler, hog-tied a hungry prowling python, threw his hat in the air and yelled YEEEEEHAAAA at the top of his lungs.


MINIATURE GIANT




"Now" is the eternal present.
Audiendus
Posted: Sunday, August 23, 2015 7:04:25 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Posts: 3,995
Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
There are miniature giant stars called subgiants.


UNDESIRED WISH
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, August 25, 2015 10:49:03 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
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Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
For the meal, everyone was given one wish. Steak was a popular wish, but the tripe and brawn pie was a totally undesired wish.

IMPOSSIBLE CERTAINTY

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Audiendus
Posted: Wednesday, August 26, 2015 6:03:27 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Many people are uncomfortable with doubt; they seek an impossible certainty about the great questions of philosophy.


OLD POSTMODERNISM
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, September 04, 2015 11:06:08 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Old postmodernism is dead...


IGNORANT EXPERT
Absurdicuss
Posted: Sunday, September 13, 2015 2:36:20 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

Relevant old postmodenism is an impossible certainty that could only have been arrived at by the most incredibly ignorant experts.


DOING NOTHING


"Now" is the eternal present.
Audiendus
Posted: Sunday, September 13, 2015 8:51:36 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/24/2011
Posts: 3,995
Neurons: 707,075
Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Doing nothing is the null mode of activity.


ANNOYING BENEFACTOR
Audiendus
Posted: Wednesday, September 16, 2015 1:07:41 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
One annoying benefactor keeps complaining that my thank-you messages are too short.


ABSOLUTE RELATIVITY
Audiendus
Posted: Friday, October 02, 2015 8:01:43 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
Absolute relativity and relative absoluteness amount to the same thing.


NON-ADHESIVE GLUE
Audiendus
Posted: Wednesday, October 07, 2015 6:42:15 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
The shop sells non-adhesive glue for practical jokes.


DYNAMIC STASIS
Audiendus
Posted: Sunday, October 25, 2015 8:24:46 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

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Location: London, England, United Kingdom
The constantly repeated notes, getting successively louder and quieter, give the music an air of dynamic stasis.


SHORT SAGA
Absurdicuss
Posted: Thursday, October 29, 2015 5:57:04 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/8/2013
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Location: Jefferson, South Carolina, United States

In "A Brief history of Time" Hawking offers a short saga of the unfolding universe.



DANGEROUSLY CAREFUL

some American drivers fit this description


"Now" is the eternal present.
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