The Free Dictionary  
mailing list For webmasters
Welcome Guest Forum Search | Active Topics | Members

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. Options
Daemon
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:00:00 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/7/2009
Posts: 27,418
Neurons: 81,432
Location: Inside Farlex computers
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

Jane Austen (1775-1817)
Kanga85
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:11:48 AM

Rank: Newbie

Joined: 4/23/2009
Posts: 32
Neurons: 96
Location: Australia
I disagree totally. Happiness in marriage depends upon your expectations, your maturity, and your readiness for it. If you have these things going for you, the correct spouse will find you.
Tovarish
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 2:31:05 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 11,109
Neurons: 39,933
Location: Booligal, New South Wales, Australia
'Chance' sounds more like a lottery.

I would be more inclined to say hard work and chemistry play an equally large roll.

Then maybe its an Aussie thing.
thar
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 4:54:08 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 19,368
Neurons: 78,260
Kanga85 wrote:
I disagree totally. Happiness in marriage depends upon your expectations, your maturity, and your readiness for it. If you have these things going for you, the correct spouse will find you.


with the freedom to wait, and to choose, yes!


But remember she was talking about a time and a class where the girls (and they were just girls, teenagers, you became an old maid if unmarried by your early twenties) had little say about their marriages. They may have spent little time with their suitors, and even less time alone with them, and have no idea of their character. It is not just the happiness of the marriage that may be up to chance, it is whether the man you are marrying is a decent person or a total ******!

Unfortunately, they might only find that out after the wedding! Bon chance!
Marissa La Faye Isolde
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 7:53:45 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/10/2009
Posts: 1,648
Neurons: 4,678
At the time when this was written, without the freedom of personal choice, when marriages were primarily financial arrangements, this statement may have had more truth to it. But today, I think there is more to marital happiness than mere chance...Even then, at the time of Jane Austen's writing, even with personal choice and love, much of what previous posters have already posted, is necessary for contentment and happiness in marriage.
Christine
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 10:27:22 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/3/2009
Posts: 3,923
Neurons: 15,842
thar wrote:
Kanga85 wrote:
I disagree totally. Happiness in marriage depends upon your expectations, your maturity, and your readiness for it. If you have these things going for you, the correct spouse will find you.


with the freedom to wait, and to choose, yes!


But remember she was talking about a time and a class where the girls (and they were just girls, teenagers, you became an old maid if unmarried by your early twenties) had little say about their marriages. They may have spent little time with their suitors, and even less time alone with them, and have no idea of their character. It is not just the happiness of the marriage that may be up to chance, it is whether the man you are marrying is a decent person or a total ******!

Unfortunately, they might only find that out after the wedding! Bon chance!


Right

I am carrying my heart~I am carrying my rhythm~I am carrying my prayers~But you can't kill my spirit~It's soaring and strong (Paula Cole's Me Lyrics)***We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We ARE spirtual beings having a human experience.(T.deChardin)***There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. (Albert Einstein)



almostfreebird
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 11:36:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/22/2011
Posts: 2,820
Neurons: 7,024
Location: Japan
Jimbob
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 9:27:54 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/26/2011
Posts: 162
Neurons: 486
Location: New Zealand
hi

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin (1775-1817)
“Not as you present it. Had she merely dined with
him, she might only have discovered whether he had a
good appetite : but you must remember that four evenings
have been also spent together-and four evenings may
do a great deal.”
“Yes : these four evenings have enabled them to as-
certain that they both like Vingt-un better than Commerce ;
but with respect to any other leading characteristic, I do
not imagine that much has been unfolded.”
“Well,” said Charlotte, “I wish Jane success with all
my heart ; and if she were married to him to-morrow, I
should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if
she were to be studying his character for a twelvemonth.
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If
The dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to
Each other, or ever so similar beforehand, it does not ad-
vance their felicity in the least. They always continue to
Grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of
Vexation ; and it is better to know as little as possible of
the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your
Life.”
```````````````````````````````````````````
vingt-et-un French
(Group Games / Card Games) another name for pontoon2
[literally: twenty-one]
felicity
1 a : the quality or state of being happy; especially : great happiness <marital felicity>
2 b : an instance of happiness
2 : something that causes happiness
3 : a pleasing manner or quality especially in art or language <a felicity with words>
4 : an apt expression
vex
1. to anger or annoy
2. to confuse; worry
3. Archaic to agitate

hi again vvvvvv.everyone.common, lolz, they always said a way to a mans heart was a through his stomach, shame that, my last love couldn’t cook to save herself :P lolz, no wonder it never worked out ! Although she had other gorgeous attributes ;) that were surely missed. I suspect what Austin is eluding too is after a while does your partner start to get on your nerves, you know those little things that just annoy the hell out of you. A question I sometimes ask people (chat) is out of a 100% how much would you give looks over personality, Surprisingly ! to me at least, was that people put a lot emphasis on personality but good looks always come into the equation aswell. What's the deal with "four evenings" I wonder. Why not five or six. I think Shakespeare used a similar line. hmm...maybe someone will know ?
excaelis
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 9:58:25 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,981
Neurons: 32,652
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Amish Dating site :




Sanity is not statistical
Romany
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 11:07:27 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 15,380
Neurons: 48,295
Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom
Oh Ex - I hate to seem stupid - but I think I obviously don't know enough about the Amish to even begin to understand your post?
jcbarros
Posted: Thursday, June 21, 2012 11:28:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/14/2010
Posts: 2,356
Neurons: 9,052
Bingo!
MTC
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 3:24:01 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/18/2011
Posts: 2,780
Neurons: 8,606
I think my fellow posters, astute as they are, have overlooked that Charlotte (quoted) and Jane are both characters in a novel. Neither one necessarily represents Austen's own views of what makes for happiness in marriage. We would have to look at these characters and others in the context of Pride and Prejudice to get a better idea of what Austen herself may have believed. Charlotte , 27 years of age and nearing spinsterhood, marries Mr. Bennett, a pompous and obnoxious clergyman to avoid becoming a financial burden on her family. We have to judge her comment about marriage in that light. How much does Charlotte really know about happiness in marriage considering the nature of her own unhappy union? Jane, whose motivations for marriage were misunderstood, actually marries Mr. Bingley for love. The main characters, Elizabeth and Darcy, love each other and eventually marry, but only after overcoming mutual misunderstanding. We the readers are led to believe they live happily ever after. Looking at the entire novel, I believe Austen herself actually believed the opposite of the opinion in the quotation. Happiness in marriage has a lot to do with mutual love and understanding. It is hardly a matter of chance as Charlotte states.
excaelis
Posted: Friday, June 22, 2012 10:42:23 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/30/2010
Posts: 10,981
Neurons: 32,652
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Low tech, Romany, like Amish NASCAR



Sanity is not statistical
Jimbob
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 5:04:44 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/26/2011
Posts: 162
Neurons: 486
Location: New Zealand
Jane Austen*

hi, great photo's excaelis you pretty much answered my question in a round about sort of a way :)
Romany
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 6:12:09 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 15,380
Neurons: 48,295
Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom
Ex - Ah-hah! Gotcha.
thar
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 7:37:13 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 19,368
Neurons: 78,260
MTC wrote:
I think my fellow posters, astute as they are, have overlooked that Charlotte (quoted) and Jane are both characters in a novel.


Good point MTC. ALthough I do think that believing this may have been a necessary form of self-preservation, given Charlotte's common situation which led to her less than romantic marriage! The alterntive would be to believe you had some sort of control over the chances of happiness, which you were sacrificing by making a marriage to someone you did not love, or at least respect. Better to believe it was all a lottery and that that marriage had as much chance as any great love-match.

Charlotte's attitude and actions certainly seem to disappoint Elizabeth, but then she is not in the same position!
Tovarish
Posted: Sunday, June 24, 2012 7:43:31 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/2/2009
Posts: 11,109
Neurons: 39,933
Location: Booligal, New South Wales, Australia
A choclate wheel is only a chocolate wheel, the same as a cigar is only a cigar, Excaelis sweety!
Prim*
Posted: Wednesday, April 3, 2013 11:25:29 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/29/2013
Posts: 259
Neurons: 756
Location: China
thar wrote:


Better to believe it was all a lottery and that that marriage had as much chance as any great love-match.



Think Perhaps I need to re-read Anna Karenina....
FounDit
Posted: Wednesday, April 3, 2013 11:44:01 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 10,767
Neurons: 55,303
Or current topics?

We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Prim*
Posted: Wednesday, April 3, 2013 12:58:09 PM
Rank: Member

Joined: 3/29/2013
Posts: 259
Neurons: 756
Location: China
I'm sorry for having been off topic.Not talking I was just bewildered by thar's statement about marriage.

Users browsing this topic
Guest


Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Main Forum RSS : RSS
Forum Terms and Guidelines | Privacy policy | Copyright © 2008-2019 Farlex, Inc. All rights reserved.