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British ComedyI hope anyone can take his/her time to watch the video and tell me the story (give me the english subtitle), I'll appreciated much. If that's too hard then you could only tell me the funny misunderstandings in the video, it is fine. Or if that's still too hard, please at least tell me the stuff (noun) that mentioned in the video. I can only catch: four candle - fork handle; electric plug; foot pump,... thank you
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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Hello, I found it. THE TWO RONNIESIn a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer. CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go. (Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie) BARKER: Four Candles! CORBETT: Four Candles? BARKER: Four Candles. (Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them on the counter) BARKER: No, four candles! CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles! BARKER: No, fork 'andles! 'Andles for forks! (Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you said 'four candles!' (more clearly) Next? BARKER: Got any plugs? CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs? BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom. (Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the counter) CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size? BARKER: Thirteen amp! CORBETT (muttering): It's electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the trade. Electric bathroom plugs! (He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an electric plug, then puts the box away) BARKER: Saw tips! CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn't know what he means) What d'you want? Ointment, or something like that? BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws. CORBETT: Oh, haven't got any, haven't got any. (he mutters) Comin' in, but we haven' got any. Next? BARKER: 'O's! CORBETT: 'O's? BARKER: 'O's. (He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter) BARKER: No, 'O's! CORBETT: 'O's! I thought you said 'O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a hose, whilst muttering) When you said 'O's, I thought you said 'O! 'O's! (He places the hose onto the counter) BARKER: No, 'O's! CORBETT (confused for a moment): O's? Oh, you mean panty 'o's, panty 'o's! (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him) BARKER: No, no, 'O's! 'O's for the gate. Mon repose! 'O's! Letter O's! CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O's! (muttering) You had me going there! (He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O's) CORBETT: How many d'you want? BARKER: Two. (Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O's on the counter, then takes the box back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter) CORBETT: Yes, next? BARKER: Got any P's? CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd' sake, why didn' you bleedin' tell me that while I was up there then? I'm up and down the shop already, it's up and down the bleedin' shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly, I've got all this shop, I ain't got any help, it's worth it we plan things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P's) How many d'you want? BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas! CORBETT: You're 'avin' me on, ain't ya, yer 'avin' me on? BARKER: I'm not! (Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of peas) CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next? BARKER: Got any pumps? CORBETT (getting really fed up): 'And pumps, foot pumps? Come on! BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps! CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in 'ere. (He puts the pump down on the counter) BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine! CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are 'avin' me on, you are definitely 'avin' me on! BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett's mood): I'm not! CORBETT: You are 'avin' me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next? BARKER: Washers! CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory cleaners? Floor washers? BARKER: 'Alf inch washers! CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to confiscate his list) Look, I've had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I'll get it all myself! (Reading through the list) What's this? What's that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of 'im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what 'e's got on there! Look what 'e's got on there! JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two? (He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer - 'Bill hooks'!)
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Thank you pal,
But I still can't understand what the funny thing at the end.
What dialect they spoke? btw
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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I don't understand either, but voice-over laughing makes me laugh, hahaha.
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Hello allmostfreebird,
I remember you - it was you who gave the fine hint at phonetic signs. Now I would like to know where did you dig out that text to the video 'Four candles' in youtube.
That's a thing I have been missing all the time that I can't have the text of the videos. It would be a wonderful thing if one could have the text to all the videos.
I seldom see the youtube videos because I've diffficulties in understanding the spoken language acoustically. Perhaps I should buy a better headphone. But if I could get the texts somewhere that would be wonderful.
By the way the video 'Four Candles' with your text is a wonderful and precious thing. Thank you very much!
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Hi Litvinenko,
just watched the video "Four Candles" (really very funny) and saw in the bottom line of the video screen (bottom right)
the abbreviation cc - the pop-up window says 'subtitles'.
I clicked that key but it didn't work with me. Perhaps I will work on your computer.
I don't know what the abbreviation cc stands for, perhaps carbon copy?
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rogermue wrote:Hello allmostfreebird,
I remember you - it was you who gave the fine hint at phonetic signs. Now I would like to know where did you dig out that text to the video 'Four candles' in youtube.
That's a thing I have been missing all the time that I can't have the text of the videos. It would be a wonderful thing if one could have the text to all the videos.
I seldom see the youtube videos because I've diffficulties in understanding the spoken language acoustically. Perhaps I should buy a better headphone. But if I could get the texts somewhere that would be wonderful.
By the way the video 'Four Candles' with your text is a wonderful and precious thing. Thank you very much! It's simple, just put "two ronnies four candles transcripts" into your search engine. If you're lucky you could get one.
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Thank you very much, (almost) freebird!
Women have the rare talent to solve the most difficult problems in the simplest way men never think of.
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Litvinenko wrote:Thank you pal,
But I still can't understand what the funny thing at the end.
What dialect they spoke? btw I find humour in the attitude of the two characters. They are abrasive, working class men with no time for pleasantries. There is no 'Good morning, how can I help you' about their encounter. No attempt at being polite. This is a send-up of a certain classe of British people who mistrust small talk in case it costs them something. I think this is the funniest thing about the sketch. 'Fork handles' sounds like 'Four candles' if care is not taken to speak clearly. There are no apologies for being misheard or for misunderstanding. It is the British laughing at themselves. It is hilarious.
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jacobusmaximus wrote:Litvinenko wrote:Thank you pal,
But I still can't understand what the funny thing at the end.
What dialect they spoke? btw I find humour in the attitude of the two characters. They are abrasive, working class men with no time for pleasantries. There is no 'Good morning, how can I help you' about their encounter. No attempt at being polite. This is a send-up of a certain classe of British people who mistrust small talk in case it costs them something. I think this is the funniest thing about the sketch. 'Fork handles' sounds like 'Four candles' if care is not taken to speak clearly. There are no apologies for being misheard or for misunderstanding. It is the British laughing at themselves. It is hilarious. After reading your post then I realised that my sentence must not be right. I meant to say that I didn't understand the ending part (about Bill Hooks' drawer) And what does you're 'avin (having?) me on mean?
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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rogermue wrote:Thank you very much, (almost) freebird!
Women have the rare talent to solve the most difficult problems in the simplest way men never think of. I was staring at the comment and wondered if you were thinking I was a woman? Anyway I am a man.
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In Freedelfia "none specified" quite often means "female" ;-)
Personally I don't bother to ponder other's genders as long as we are all good guys.
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
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rogermue
The "cc" on the bottom right of a youtube video stands for "closed captions" which they rarely, if ever, provide. If you click it, you will also see "transcribe audio" also.
You may try this, but the function does not work very well. It is a program that attempts to spell out what is said but gets it wrong more often than it gets it right.
The sound on my laptop leaves much to be desired and my pc, while having speakers, can't compensate for some hearing loss, so I rarely watch youtube videos either since I can't understand them. And forget about the lyrics to music...its just noise.
A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
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Hello Litvinenko.You asked what dialect they were speaking - really they were not speaking a dialect, it was normal English, but with an accent. It was an accent you could call "Poorly educated South East England". This is particularly characterised by the 'dropped h' (the words hose, hoes and O's sound the same), by vowels tending to sound alike and by the 'r' being pronounced as 'w' (so that ' saw' was mistaken to be ' sore').  a hose a hoe hose   O's
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and Death shall have no dominion. - Dylan Thomas
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almostfreebird wrote:rogermue wrote:Thank you very much, (almost) freebird!
Women have the rare talent to solve the most difficult problems in the simplest way men never think of. I was staring at the comment and wondered if you were thinking I was a woman? Anyway I am a man. --- So sorry. No offence meant.
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FounDit wrote:rogermue
The "cc" on the bottom right of a youtube video stands for "closed captions" which they rarely, if ever, provide. If you click it, you will also see "transcribe audio" also.
You may try this, but the function does not work very well. It is a program that attempts to spell out what is said but gets it wrong more often than it gets it right.
The sound on my laptop leaves much to be desired and my pc, while having speakers, can't compensate for some hearing loss, so I rarely watch youtube videos either since I can't understand them. And forget about the lyrics to music...its just noise. --- Oh, I'm really relieved to hear that native speakers have problems too with understanding what is said in videos. I thought either my technical equipment is not appropriate or I must have something with my ears. In any case, if I don't have the text to a video it's useless for me. But now I have discovered that there are a lot of film scripts on the net - scripts of well-known films such as The third Man and so on. And that's much more interesting than short videos. There's no better way to study language than a good film with the script. I really wonder that the youtube people haven't discovered that a lot of people have difficulty with understanding what is said in the videos and that they don't provide a possibility to get the text.
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Audio book is good; one of my favorites is Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said
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I didn't really get thw final reveal on this one either. " Bollocks ', perhaps ?
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excaelis wrote:I didn't really get thw final reveal on this one either. " Bollocks ', perhaps ? definitely 
I live in my own little world, but it's OK - they know me here...
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Thank you atfb-sama for the hint.
I feel the daily spoken british english really difficult to understand, unlike BBC News or Harry Potters which are easier.
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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I can quite understand the difficulty you have with everyday spoken English - you are not alone!  You seem to be doing well so far. Possibly Romany or Hope1 can correct this list, but I feel that if you start with novels from the end of the 19th century and first half of the 20th century, the grammar is usually good and follows the traditional grammar rules (though there may be vocabulary and usage differences) - for example HG Wells, Jules Verne, up to George Orwell, even as late as Ray Bradbury. Next would be more modern novels by well-known authors - who use more colloquial phrasing and grammar, but are generally somewhat conservative in their use of English. JK Rowling, Anne McCafferey, Ursula le Guin and many others. As you say, the BBC news uses (normally) speakers who have a regional accent but speak well and clearly. The next step could be audio books (with the written version available to check things you just can't get). (Again often the 'readers' use a regional accent, but speak clearly). The HIGHEST gradient is to watch and listen to a video or film which has: Regional Accents Bad Grammar Slang Dialectical phrases and idioms High-speed dialogues. If you can watch 'Mad Max' and understand all that is said, your English is far better than mine!  Another minor point is - do not base your vocabulary or usage on the 'English Classics' Dickens, the Brontës, or even films from the 1950's. The grammar is usually good, but the usage is so different to modern English that you would sound 'foriegn'. (Even if you are!)  Similarly poetry has its own rules (and lack of rules) so you cannot mimic a poetic style in normal conversation.
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and Death shall have no dominion. - Dylan Thomas
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Now I want to ask another thing here.
If I wasn't mistaken, I heard someone or two pronounced "young" as "yoong" not "yang". Does that belong to some people's accent (in England) or I just misheard it?
Another word is "dutch" pronounced "dootch" not "datch" (I hope what I mean is understood).
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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I like your spelling! 'Dootch' & 'Datch'. It sounds like you have heard someone from the northern half of England. There is a change which occurs across a "border" which crosses England. I am from the north, if you look at the sentence: "I will look at the book written by the Dutch man, but I am much too young to grasp it properly" I would pronounce it: I will look <lu-ek> at the book <bu-ek> written by the Dutch <Dutch> man, but <but> I am much <much> too <tu> young <yung> to grasp <grasp> it. A southern English person would sound, to me, like: I will <lerk> at the <berk> written by the <Datch> man, <bat> I am <match> too <tu> <yerng> to <grarsp> it. For me, the vowels in "book", "look" and "too" are virtually the same. Have a listen to the two people in this little interview. They are from the north.
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and Death shall have no dominion. - Dylan Thomas
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Goodness, DragO, as a Southerner I have to say that I have never lerked at a berk in my life! I have to admit to grarsping however.
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I find this funni, or is that fanni?
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
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Finni, I think, JJ!
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I am sorry.. I don't know how to use English sound symbols or sound transliteration, but I am sure you understand what I meant. 
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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Yes we did, Lit, and welcome. I thought you captured the uncouth grunting of Anglus Borealis perfectly ! Jolly well done !
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Drag0nspeaker wrote:Have a listen to the two people in this little interview. They are from the north. Thank you Dragon for the video, I like it!
And He it is Who created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each gliding along in its orbit. (HQ. 21:34)
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Litvinenko wrote:I am sorry.. I don't know how to use English sound symbols or sound transliteration, but I am sure you understand what I meant. Don't be sorry. I think we all understood you perfectly.
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
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Dragon - what a literate three-year-old! I was fascinated by her reactions, although I did not understand everything she said. Loved the accents!
I bet her parents are proud of her, and hopefully enjoy her ALL the time!
How did you stumble upon that video?
Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts. Bernard M. Baruch 1870-1965
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Briton wrote:Quote:Goodness, DragO, as a Southerner I have to say that I have never lerked at a berk in my life! My apologies. However I blame it on poetic licence... I have the same lack of knowledge as Litvinenko - I know some IPA symbols, but have not sorted out the vowels yet (I'm practising). Litvinenko wrote:Quote:I am sorry..
I don't know how to use English sound symbols or sound transliteration, but I am sure you understand what I meant. Don't worry - your " yoong" and " yang" communicated perfectly what you had heard. excaelis wrote:Quote:I thought you captured the uncouth grunting of Anglus Borealis perfectly ! Ugg Grnnn Gnash!  What would you call someone from the south of England? I thought at first Anglus Austraelis, but that is a completely different breed! Hope1 wrote:Quote:How did you stumble upon that video? Lovely, isn't she?  I searched YouTube for "Lancashire accent" and "Northern Accent". Most of the offerings are a bit "false" - sort of jokey self satire, or examples of Liverpuddlian or Mancunian slang. This was the only really natural one I found.
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and Death shall have no dominion. - Dylan Thomas
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