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After a person's death, can we we say 'He/she has two children'?
Ravindra
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A very interesting question at first glance as the children may well be alive. However, since the person is dead, I would say he/she had two children. My opinion.
PS A further question - What do you say if asked how many children you have and one of them is dead?
(I hope I never have to find out!)
Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts. Bernard M. Baruch 1870-1965
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Hope -
Sadly I've had friends who face that problem. Usually - and if its just one of those polite, making small-talk conversations - they say they have 2 or however many children they have who are still alive.
Among friends, or people who might turn out to be friends, they will say upfront that they have 2 children now but that they had one who died.
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Hope1 wrote:A very interesting question at first glance as the children may well be alive. However, since the person is dead, I would say he/she had two children. My opinion.
I agree that for most informal circumstances, it is proper to speak of dead people in the past tense, so one would say they "had" two children. In a more formal context, such as a published obituary, the correct formula is to say they "are survived by" any close relatives such as children, siblings, or parents, and that they "have been preceded in death by" such close relations as had died while they were alive.
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits." - Satchel Paige
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Thanks, Romany. Both my sister and my brother have lost a son - both sons were in their twenties. None of the parents has ever gotten over it and it has been about fifteen years now for one, and over ten for the other. One was a tragic workplace accident.
Leon, you are right about the obits. Never thought of that.
Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts. Bernard M. Baruch 1870-1965
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Thank you Dears.
LeonAzul, you are right in an obituary column this is adopted. However, I would like to have it 'not in print'. Perhaps 'the deceased has two children' squares up! Nonetheless, I wish to have a scholarly point of view, rather a precise one.
PS: A friend of mine has asked me this in a class. And I have been perplexed.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Robert McCloskey
Ravindra
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PS A further question - What do you say if asked how many children you have and one of them is dead?
(I hope I never have to find out!) (Hope1).
I can tell you from experience Hope1. I say 'one', but if I think the person I am speaking to should know then I say - "I had two but one died". If they are interested enough to ask, then I tell them that my elder son was stabbed to death at the age of 19. They usually change the subject very quickly after that, but that's OK.
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I am so sorry to hear that jbmi. it has to be the worst human experience ever to lose an offspring. But to lose one to a stabbing! How do you even deal with the anger, let alone the grief!!
Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts. Bernard M. Baruch 1870-1965
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Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.
Benjamin Franklin quotes
Ravindra
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Hope1 wrote:I am so sorry to hear that jbmi. it has to be the worst human experience ever to lose an offspring. But to lose one to a stabbing! How do you even deal with the anger, let alone the grief!! I knew that anger was no solution and was a poor example to other members of the family. So as soon as I felt anger rising I dealt with it by seeking higher ground (spiritually). The worst of my grief was dealt with by loving friends. But friends cannot always be around, so you have to deal with times of grief when it comes - and it always comes.
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