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Amybal
Posted: Tuesday, September 10, 2019 5:19:38 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 734
Neurons: 3,890
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
In a competition to create an app, two opposing teams are doing everything they can to make sure their team's app will win, no mater what.


Long summary
Bom and June, the two leaders of the app developer companies who are seeking recognition in the world of a startup business. They meet each other at their favorite restaurant completely by chance, only to find that they have a lot in common and enjoy very same passions. As both companies desperately need investment, they aim to win the national Startup Thailand league, and despite being told the strengths and flaws of each app, both of them continue with their rivalry.
Amybal
Posted: Wednesday, September 11, 2019 10:05:09 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 734
Neurons: 3,890
Hi, can someone help me? thank you.
FounDit
Posted: Thursday, September 12, 2019 12:11:42 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 11,679
Neurons: 58,539
Amybal wrote:
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
In a competition to create an app, two opposing teams are doing everything they can to make sure their team's app will win, no mater what.

I suggest:
Long summary
Bom and June are two leaders of competing app development companies who are seeking recognition in the world of a startup businesses. They meet each other at their favorite restaurant completely by chance, only to find that they have a lot in common, and enjoy the very same passions. As both companies desperately need investment, each aims to win the national Startup Thailand league, and despite having been told of the strengths and flaws of each app, both of them continue with their rivalry.

I'm wondering who told them of the strengths and weaknesses of their apps. Perhaps you should say, "...despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps..."


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, September 12, 2019 11:24:55 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 734
Neurons: 3,890
Thank you for the correction. This sounds better for me: "...despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps..."

I will go as below:
Bom and June are two leaders of competing app development companies who are seeking recognition in the world of startup businesses. They meet each other at their favorite restaurant completely by chance, only to find that they have a lot in common, and enjoy the very same passions. As both companies desperately need investment, each aims to win the national Startup Thailand league, and despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps, both of them continue with their rivalry.

I have a small doubt for the short one:
"..no mater what...". The word mater should be matter or mater?
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, September 12, 2019 11:34:19 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 734
Neurons: 3,890
Thank you for the correction. This sounds better for me: "...despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps..."

I will go as below:
Bom and June are two leaders of competing app development companies who are seeking recognition in the world of startup businesses. They meet each other at their favorite restaurant completely by chance, only to find that they have a lot in common, and enjoy the very same passions. As both companies desperately need investment, each aims to win the national Startup Thailand league, and despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps, both of them continue with their rivalry.

I have a small doubt for the short one:
"..no mater what...". The word mater should be matter or mater?
FounDit
Posted: Friday, September 13, 2019 2:32:39 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 11,679
Neurons: 58,539
Amybal wrote:
Thank you for the correction. This sounds better for me: "...despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps..."

I will go as below:
Bom and June are two leaders of competing app development companies who are seeking recognition in the world of startup businesses. They meet each other at their favorite restaurant completely by chance, only to find that they have a lot in common, and enjoy the very same passions. As both companies desperately need investment, each aims to win the national Startup Thailand league, and despite knowledge of the strengths and weaknesses of their own apps, both of them continue with their rivalry.

I have a small doubt for the short one:
"..no mater what...". The word mater should be matter or mater?

Yes, sorry, I missed that one. It should be "matter". The word "mater" is Latin for "mother", and is also the name of the main character in the animated movie "Cars" (Tow Mater, or simply "Mater").

The name "Tow Mater" is a play on the word "tomato", or "tomater" as it is sometimes pronounced in the Southern part of the US. This was likely his name because he was red in color like a tomato and he was a tow truck).


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
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