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A fisherman from... Options
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2019 3:06:11 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 568
Neurons: 3,034
Hi, is there anything wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
A fisherman from North Chennai unknowingly falls prey to the trap set by a mafia gang.

Long summary
A North Madras youngster Anbu, who is a fisherman, meets a couple of local gangsters. Without realizing it, he has fallen into a trap set by the mafia gang. Following this, his life suddenly changes completely.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Thursday, January 10, 2019 2:58:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 31,701
Neurons: 190,938
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
The only thing I see is "the mafia gang".

"Mafia" is a proper noun - and it's rather larger than a 'gang'. It's an international criminal organisation.

I would also use "After this" rather than "Following this". I don't know why I don't like "following" - I don't think it's wrong, but "after" sounds better to me.

Short summary
A fisherman from North Chennai unknowingly falls prey to the trap set by the Mafia.

Long summary
A North Madras youngster Anbu, who is a fisherman, meets a couple of local gangsters. Without realizing it, he has fallen into a trap set by the Mafia. After this, his life suddenly changes completely.

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 9:11:17 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 1,303
Neurons: 8,239
Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
The only thing I see is "the mafia gang".

"Mafia" is a proper noun - and it's rather larger than a 'gang'. It's an international criminal organisation.

I would also use "After this" rather than "Following this". I don't know why I don't like "following" - I don't think it's wrong, but "after" sounds better to me.

Short summary
A fisherman from North Chennai unknowingly falls prey to the trap set by the Mafia.

Long summary
A North Madras youngster Anbu, who is a fisherman, meets a couple of local gangsters. Without realizing it, he has fallen into a trap set by the Mafia. After this, his life suddenly changes completely.


Drago if the sentences were talking about the Mafia in the sense of the Costra Nostra then yes I would use the article and the capitalisation.

However mafia is also used as a general term by some people to refer to local criminal gangs, in which case I would not automatically use them.

I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
RuthP
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 1:08:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/2/2009
Posts: 5,392
Neurons: 81,608
Location: Drain, Oregon, United States
Sarrriesfan wrote:
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
The only thing I see is "the mafia gang".

"Mafia" is a proper noun - and it's rather larger than a 'gang'. It's an international criminal organisation.

I would also use "After this" rather than "Following this". I don't know why I don't like "following" - I don't think it's wrong, but "after" sounds better to me.

Short summary
A fisherman from North Chennai unknowingly falls prey to the trap set by the Mafia.

Long summary
A North Madras youngster Anbu, who is a fisherman, meets a couple of local gangsters. Without realizing it, he has fallen into a trap set by the Mafia. After this, his life suddenly changes completely.


Drago if the sentences were talking about the Mafia in the sense of the Costra Nostra then yes I would use the article and the capitalisation.

However mafia is also used as a general term by some people to refer to local criminal gangs, in which case I would not automatically use them.

You are correct that "mafia" may be used as a generic term, but I will say that I am accustomed to seeing some other descriptive term used with the word, to differentiate it from la Cosa Nostra. I would not use "mafia" as a stand-alone, but would use "gang", "gangs", "local gangs", or "local criminal gangs". "Gangs" is a perfectly good word, if that is what is meant, and does not risk the confounding with the Italian/Sicilian Mafia.
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Friday, January 11, 2019 1:53:57 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 1,303
Neurons: 8,239
Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
RuthP wrote:
Sarrriesfan wrote:
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
The only thing I see is "the mafia gang".

"Mafia" is a proper noun - and it's rather larger than a 'gang'. It's an international criminal organisation.

I would also use "After this" rather than "Following this". I don't know why I don't like "following" - I don't think it's wrong, but "after" sounds better to me.

Short summary
A fisherman from North Chennai unknowingly falls prey to the trap set by the Mafia.

Long summary
A North Madras youngster Anbu, who is a fisherman, meets a couple of local gangsters. Without realizing it, he has fallen into a trap set by the Mafia. After this, his life suddenly changes completely.


Drago if the sentences were talking about the Mafia in the sense of the Costra Nostra then yes I would use the article and the capitalisation.

However mafia is also used as a general term by some people to refer to local criminal gangs, in which case I would not automatically use them.

You are correct that "mafia" may be used as a generic term, but I will say that I am accustomed to seeing some other descriptive term used with the word, to differentiate it from la Cosa Nostra. I would not use "mafia" as a stand-alone, but would use "gang", "gangs", "local gangs", or "local criminal gangs". "Gangs" is a perfectly good word, if that is what is meant, and does not risk the confounding with the Italian/Sicilian Mafia.


I would agree with you RuthP if I were writing the descriptions , but the person who wrote the summary that AmyBal has quoted has not. Perhaps it is more common usage in India ( the sentences mention Madras and Chennai).

I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
Amybal
Posted: Saturday, January 12, 2019 3:06:47 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 568
Neurons: 3,034
Hi all, thank you for the feedback.

In the summary "a mafia gang" I'm referring to a local gangster group. But in India the word "mafia" and "gang" is a common use.
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