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Jeff, a man clearly overweight Options
Nikitus
Posted: Monday, November 5, 2018 10:10:56 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 366
Neurons: 1,784
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Hello.

First of all, thanks for all your time and help.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"Jeff, a man clearly overweight woke up in an apartment whose walls had recently been painted in white. He had the feeling that he had overslept, and would be late again. He confirmed that by looking at his alarm clock, which was thirty years old and he cared for it as one of his favorite treasures."

Thanks.
Wilmar (USA)
Posted: Tuesday, November 6, 2018 8:41:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/4/2015
Posts: 1,312
Neurons: 492,086
Location: Vinton, Iowa, United States
Let's begin with this: a comma is needed following "overweight".
FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, November 6, 2018 2:08:59 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,723
Neurons: 51,335
Nikitus wrote:
Hello.

First of all, thanks for all your time and help.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?
I agree with a comma after "overweight", and I would also put one after "old", since the age of the clock is extra information. The rest I'll leave in your own words.

"Jeff, a man clearly overweight, woke up in an apartment whose walls had recently been painted in white. He had the feeling that he had overslept, and would be late again. He confirmed that by looking at his alarm clock, which was thirty years old, and he cared for it as one of his favorite treasures."

Thanks.


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
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