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Carmenex
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2018 10:49:08 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 996
Neurons: 5,254
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
I believe that working/(pursuing a career) as a patent attorney would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering and apply them (in order?) to both understand/understanding and critically analyse/analyzing a client's inventions, and/(as well as) assist/assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed my/the/an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career and while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. when/where I investigated and developed research projects on/(in the fields of) nanotechnology and nanomaterials, (on/of?, do you need it?) superconductors and semiconductors and (on/of?) ceramic and glass materials.
FounDit
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2018 11:30:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,438
Neurons: 50,208
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2018 12:11:52 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 29,965
Neurons: 174,675
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Remember that Patents clerk back in 1905?



Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Carmenex
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2018 4:55:08 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 996
Neurons: 5,254
Drag0nspeaker wrote:
Remember that Patents clerk back in 1905?



Hi Drago, I know that and him.
Carmenex
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2018 5:01:30 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 996
Neurons: 5,254
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


Hi , and thank you for your suggestions. I thought to move the second sentence at the beginning of the text, split the other one into two and make the following modifications in bold. What do you think about that:
I (have?) developed an interest in intellectual property throughout my academic and professional career, including (my consulting work)/(when consulting for) for multinational companies such as X Inc. and Y Inc., where/when (it should be referred also to my ... career) I investigated and worked on research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials. I believe that working as a patent attorney would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in (these and other fields)/(these fields and other) within materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analysing a client's inventions. It/(This career path) would also allow me to assist clients in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues.
FounDit
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2018 2:30:21 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,438
Neurons: 50,208
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


Hi , and thank you for your suggestions. I thought to move the second sentence at the beginning of the text, split the other one into two and make the following modifications in bold. What do you think about that:
I'm sorry to tell you that I really don't like this version very much. It reads as very awkward and does not flow smoothly. In my opinion, it would need some rewriting to be better. Perhaps:


I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my professional career, and while consulting for multinational companies such as X Inc. and Y Inc., where I investigated and worked on research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials. I believe that working as a patent attorney would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in these and other fields within materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analysing client's inventions. This career path would also allow me to assist clients with any patent issues they may have.


We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Carmenex
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2018 3:05:23 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 996
Neurons: 5,254
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. I thought to move the second sentence at the beginning of the text, split the other one into two and make the following modifications in bold. What do you think about that:
I'm sorry to tell you that I really don't like this version very much. It reads as very awkward and does not flow smoothly. In my opinion, it would need some rewriting to be better. Perhaps:


I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my professional career, and while consulting for multinational companies such as X Inc. and Y Inc., where I investigated and worked on research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials. I believe that working as a patent attorney would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in these and other fields within materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analysing client's inventions. This career path would also allow me to assist clients with any patent issues they may have.


Thank you, FounDit, for your advice. I agree with your suggested modifications. If modified as suggested, do you think that it would be a good idea to put I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my professional career, ... at the beginning of the text, or at the end as in the original sentence?
Only one question: why do you think that it would be better to use the simple past developed than the present perfect have developed?
FounDit
Posted: Saturday, June 30, 2018 7:27:05 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,438
Neurons: 50,208
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


Hi FounDit, and thank you for your suggestions. I thought to move the second sentence at the beginning of the text, split the other one into two and make the following modifications in bold. What do you think about that:
I'm sorry to tell you that I really don't like this version very much. It reads as very awkward and does not flow smoothly. In my opinion, it would need some rewriting to be better. Perhaps:


I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my professional career, and while consulting for multinational companies such as X Inc. and Y Inc., where I investigated and worked on research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials. I believe that working as a patent attorney would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in these and other fields within materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analysing client's inventions. This career path would also allow me to assist clients with any patent issues they may have.


Thank you, FounDit, for your advice. I agree with your suggested modifications. If modified as suggested, do you think that it would be a good idea to put I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my professional career, ... at the beginning of the text, or at the end as in the original sentence?
I think it fits better at the end, as in your original paragraph.


Only one question: why do you think that it would be better to use the simple past developed than the present perfect have developed?
It may be just me, but saying "I developed an interest..." conveys to me the idea of the idea and interest growing over time and continuing to grow, while "I have developed..." conveys the idea that the interest is complete and no longer growing. It is perfected. Since the paragraph indicates a desire to increase one's knowledge and skills, I chose "developed".



We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Carmenex
Posted: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 9:21:30 AM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/7/2014
Posts: 996
Neurons: 5,254
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


Hi FounDit. I thought to break the last sentence into two and made the modifications in bold. I would please ask you which of the following phrasing (if any) do you prefer:

I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my academic and professional career, and, in particular, while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. My endeavors (have) included investigating and developing research projects in the fields of nanotechnology, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ...

I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my academic and professional career, and, in particular, while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. My fields of endeavors (have) included nanotechnology, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ...

FounDit
Posted: Tuesday, July 10, 2018 2:53:27 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,438
Neurons: 50,208
Carmenex wrote:
FounDit wrote:
Carmenex wrote:
Hi, I would please ask you if the expressions in bold are correct in the following (splitting the sentence(s), if you think they read better):
My suggestions, and this is but one way to do it:

I believe that working as a _____ would afford me the opportunity to further my knowledge and skills in materials science and engineering, and apply them to understanding and critically analyzing a client's inventions, as well as assisting them in exploring the path to obtaining patents and in dealing with all patenting issues. I developed an interest in intellectual property in the course of my academic and professional career while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. where I investigated and developed research projects in the fields of nanotechnology and nanomaterials, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ceramic and glass materials.


Hi FounDit. I thought to break the last sentence into two and made the modifications in bold. I would please ask you which of the following phrasing (if any) do you prefer:

I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my academic and professional career, and, in particular, while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. My endeavors (have) included investigating and developing research projects in the fields of nanotechnology, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ...

I developed an interest in intellectual property over the course of my academic and professional career, and, in particular, while consulting for multinational companies such as Y Inc. and Z Inc. My fields of endeavors (have) included nanotechnology, superconductors and semiconductors, as well as ...
Both will work fine in my opinion. I would omit the word "have", but it may not be incorrect to include it, if you wish. If I had to choose one, I'd go with the first one, but that's just my choice. Others may like the latter.



We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
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