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Amybal
Posted: Wednesday, May 16, 2018 3:25:39 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 107
Neurons: 653
Hi, do you see anything grammatically wrong in these sentences?

Short summary
Lawak Ke Der is back with its six installment with Singapore comedian Gurmit Singh of Phua Chu Kang and some of the renowned Malaysians comedians, a nonstop laughs from beginning to end.

Long summary
Lawak Ke Der is back with its six installment. This year, Singapore comedian Gurmit Singh of Phua Chu Kang fame making is special appearance, while a show regular, the award-winning actor-cum-comedian Afdlin Shauki, singer Zainal Abidin, the winners of season six of the hit comedy show Raja Lawak Kumpulan Shiro and many more, also return to make you laugh out once again with their funny jokes.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2018 3:04:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 28,840
Neurons: 164,997
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Hi Amybal,
I have difficulty with this, as I do not know the cultural references. Is Lawak Ke Der a person or the name of a TV show? - and so on.

However, I think you summaries should read like this:
Titles of shows (or books or films) should be marked - by inverted commas "", or italic typeface (or sometimes Bold)
"Instalments" has to be plural (because there are six of them).
"laugh" has to be singular - you cannot have 'a laughs'
'Malaysian' has to be singular - adjectives are never written in the plural.
I also changed a couple of words - these were not grammatical errors, just "they sound better to me".

"Lawak Ke Der" is back with its six instalments featuring Gurmit Singh of "Phua Chu Kang" and other renowned Malaysian comedians, a nonstop laugh from beginning to end.

I can't figure out the long summary - there are too many phrases and clauses separated by commas - I can't tell how these phrases are related.
Are 'singer Zainal Abidin' and 'the winners of season six of the hit comedy show' the same person?
Are "the winners of season six of the hit comedy show" actually "Raja Lawak" and "Kumpulan Shiro"?

Generally, you need to be a little more careful with your typing - I'm sure you know the difference between 'his' and 'is' and you know a singular noun from a plural noun.

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Amybal
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2018 5:02:24 AM
Rank: Member

Joined: 2/8/2018
Posts: 107
Neurons: 653
Firstly, accept my apologies because I didn’t descript what is “Lawak Ke Der “?
Lawak Ke Der is a stand-up comedy TV show.

Titles of shows (or books or films) should be marked - by inverted commas "", or italic typeface (or sometimes Bold): Noted
"Instalments" has to be plural (because there are six of them).: The installment is referring to the Lawak ke Der Show. So do you think it has to be plural?
"laugh" has to be singular - you cannot have 'a laughs': Noted
'Malaysian' has to be singular - adjectives are never written in the plural: Noted
I also changed a couple of words - these were not grammatical errors, just "they sound better to me". Thank you so much to rephrase the structure. Yes, now it sounds better to me too.

For Second summary: Every year they have their regular people to conduct the show which is Afdlin Shauki, Zainal Abidin, Kumpulan Shiro and few more people. Additionally, they also will have special guest appearance. So this year they invite the Singapore comedian Gurmit Singh of Phua Chu Kang. Phua Chu Kang is a comedy TV series.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Thursday, May 17, 2018 5:36:19 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 28,840
Neurons: 164,997
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Thank you - I think I've got it now.

So “Lawak Ke Der“ has been on the TV for five years - this will be 'its sixth instalment' - or 'instalment six'. Not 'its six instalment'.

The only other "correction" I have here is really just the punctuation - though each comma may be correct, too many commas in a sentence can make it difficult to sort out what is meant.
Semi-colons, dashes and parentheses can be used to help make things more clear.

Again, I changed a couple of words too. I think 'hilarious comedy' sounds funnier than 'funny jokes'.

Lawak Ke Der is back with its sixth instalment. This year, Singapore comedian Gurmit Singh of Phua Chu Kang fame is making a special appearance, while the award-winning actor-cum-comedian Afdlin Shauki (a show regular), singer Zainal Abidin and Kumpulan Shiro also return. They will be joined by the winners of season six of the hit comedy show Raja Lawak and many more, to make you laugh out once again with their hilarious comedy.

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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