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Can I replace "he" with "his car"? Options
Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 1:46:47 AM
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Romero said McDonnell entered a busy intersection at such a high rate of speed Suina did not see his patrol vehicle or hear a siren until he slammed into the passenger side of her sport utility vehicle as she made a left turn in front of him.

Can I replace "he" with "his car"?5th

Thanks.
David Kitajima Miller
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 2:54:36 AM

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Location: Loveland, Colorado, United States
Yes, but I think the sentence is a bit clunky.
Is it for an incident report? If it is, I wouldn't waste too much
time agonizing over the clunkiness as long as you get your point across.
Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 3:14:19 AM
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Thanks, David.

Romero said McDonnell entered a busy intersection at such a high rate of speed Suina did not see his patrol

Is "a high rate of speed" OK? Or just "a high speed"?
Peter O'Connor - Dundalk
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 6:09:06 AM

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Either is fine. I'd drop the 'high rate of speed' for a rate of speed or high speed or simply .. at speed.
Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 7:01:52 AM
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Peter O'Connor - Dundalk wrote:
Either is fine. I'd drop the 'high rate of speed' for a rate of speed or high speed or simply .. at speed.
Thanks.
palapaguy
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 11:39:34 AM

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Koh Elaine wrote:
Thanks, David.

Romero said McDonnell entered a busy intersection at such a high rate of speed Suina did not see his patrol

Is "a high rate of speed" OK? Or just "a high speed"?


It's redundant. "Speed" includes the concept of "rate." There's no rate of a rate.
Koh Elaine
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 11:44:14 AM
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Thanks, palapaguy.
TMe
Posted: Friday, March 9, 2018 11:58:45 AM

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Romero said McDonnell entered a busy intersection at such a high rate of speed Suina did not see his patrol vehicle or hear a siren until he slammed into the passenger side of her sport utility vehicle as she made a left turn in front of him.

Consider the following;

Romero said McDonnell entered a busy intersection at such a high speed that Suina could not see his vehicle or hear a siren. Unfortunately he slammed into the passenger side of Suina's sport utility vehicle as she maneuvered a left turn in front of his vehicle.

I am a layman.
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