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Shouldn't the verb be 'won' instead? Options
Koh Elaine
Posted: Wednesday, November 08, 2017 11:56:46 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 2,634
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Chiak (Hokkien for “eat”) a local movie with a budget less than $2,000, won the GV25 Film Shorts competition. Golden Village, host of the film competition funded this film, according to Joshuah Lim, leader of the three-person team. Each team member and cast was given less than $200.

The 8-minute touching film had won the GV25 Film Shorts competition on Monday (30 October) evening, receiving a cash prize of S$3,000. Determined to win, the film director Joshuah Lim’s overcame the odds of his battle with leukaemia since August 2016.

Since time is stated - Monday (30 October) evening - shouldn't the verb be 'won' instead?

Thanks.
rroselavy
Posted: Thursday, November 09, 2017 2:24:10 AM

Rank: Member

Joined: 7/21/2016
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Yes, I think "won" would be fine. But there are many more problems here:

"Chiak (Hokkien for “eat”) [you need a comma here] a local movie with a budget [of] less than $2,000, won the GV25 Film Shorts competition. Golden Village, host of the film competition [you need a comma here] funded this film, according to Joshuah Lim, leader of the three-person team. Each team member and cast [member] was given less than $200. [Or to avoid repetition of "member": each member of the team and the cast...]

"The 8-minute touching [odd syntax; "touching 8-minute" would be more natural] film had won the GV25 Film Shorts competition on Monday (30 October) evening, receiving a cash prize of S [delete the S] $3,000. Determined to win, the film director Joshuah Lim’s [no 's here] overcame the odds of his battle with leukaemia since August 2016. [of the leukemia he had battled since August 2016.]"

Koh Elaine
Posted: Thursday, November 09, 2017 1:05:48 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/4/2012
Posts: 2,634
Neurons: 10,759
Thanks, rroselavy.
Romany
Posted: Thursday, November 09, 2017 2:22:34 PM
Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/14/2009
Posts: 13,122
Neurons: 40,026
Location: Brighton, England, United Kingdom

Koh - just one thing: - Perhaps Rrose doesn't know that S$ stands for Singaporean Dollar.

So DON'T leave it off. The difference it would make to the value of that cash prize would be substantial!
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