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Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog Options
Nikitus
Posted: Thursday, June 22, 2017 11:09:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/17/2013
Posts: 252
Neurons: 1,174
Location: Viña del Mar, Valparaiso, Chile
Dear forum members: First of all, thanks for all your time and help.

This is my new try on the sentences. But I still have the following questions:


Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog. Crossing the traffic light on foot was Kevin, walking the streets towards the old theater performing his ritual. Suddenly he saw his old friend, in a worse condition than usual, which caused that Kevin decided to break his self-imposed rules of his own ritual and came to talk to Ralf.



It is correct to write "Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog"

It is correct to write "Crossing the traffic light on foot was Kevin, walking the streets towards the old theater performing his ritual."

It is correct to write "Suddenly he saw his old friend, in a worse condition than usual, which caused that Kevin decided to break his self-imposed rules of his own ritual and came to talk to Ralf.."




Thanks.
You know who I am
Posted: Thursday, June 22, 2017 3:08:09 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/13/2017
Posts: 597
Neurons: 4,702
Location: Olinda, Pernambuco, Brazil
Nikitus wrote:
Dear forum members: First of all, thanks for all your time and help.

This is my new try on the sentences. But I still have the following questions:


Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog. Crossing the traffic light on foot was Kevin, walking the streets towards the old theater performing his ritual. Suddenly he saw his old friend, in a worse condition than usual, which caused that Kevin decided to break his self-imposed rules of his own ritual and came to talk to Ralf.



It is correct to write "Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog"

It is correct to write "Crossing the traffic light on foot was Kevin, walking the streets towards the old theater performing his ritual."

It is correct to write "Suddenly he saw his old friend, in a worse condition than usual, which caused that Kevin decided to break his self-imposed rules of his own ritual and came to talk to Ralf.."




Thanks.


Hello, Nikitus.

Most sentences are correct; however, there are a few mistakes:

"..walking the streets" - You don't walk the streets, you walk ON the streets.

"which caused that Kevin decided to break his self-imposed rules.." - You don't cause a that-clause, you cause someone to do something, therefore: which caused Kevin to decide to break his self-imposed rules...

"and came to talk to Ralf" - There are two possible mistakes in that sentence fragment - In that fragment, you are still referring to the action caused and inside a to-infinitive clause, so the verb must agree with it, a to-infinitive clause only takes the normal form of a verb, never the past, so: "..and (to) come to talk to ralf" - Also, "come" doesn't sound correct there, I can't explain why; I think it is because it gives a slight meaning of returning, so I think "go" sounds better.

I would change it from: Crossing the traffic light on foot was Kevin, walking the streets towards the old theater performing his ritual. Suddenly he saw his old friend
to: Crossing the traffic light on foot and walking on the street towards the old theater performing his ritual, Kevin suddenly saw his old friend.

I am the way, and the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through Me. - John 14:6
thar
Posted: Thursday, June 22, 2017 3:48:30 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 15,762
Neurons: 63,010
A few corrections to the corrections, for the general good. Whistle Hope you don't​ mind.

On is a preposition of being on top of, but that is not the point here.

There are three possibilities:


You walk on something.
You walk on the pavement (sidewalk) but not on the street - it is static, not dynamic. It only describes the specific surface you are using. It doesn't work here.

You walk along the street, to go from one place to another.
That could work, if you want to describe him moving.

Or you can walk the streets. Plural, no preposition. The is idiomatic. It means you have nowhere else to go, or anywhere to sleep, and are forced to keep moving. Either that, or you are selling yourself for sex - another word for 'prostitute' is 'street-walker'. You treat it as a transitive verb.

You don't cross the lights.
You cross the street at the lights (ie, at the place where the lights are)
Since it is redundant to say 'crossing the street' because that is what the lights are for d'oh!, you can just say you cross at the lights. That you are crossing the street is assumed.

I agree with your point about the verbs - you need to treat all the verbs in the same way.
NKM
Posted: Thursday, June 22, 2017 5:00:27 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/14/2015
Posts: 3,985
Neurons: 176,275
Location: Corinth, New York, United States
Nikitus wrote:

It is correct to write "Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog."

It is correct to write "Crossing the traffic light on foot was Kevin, walking the streets towards the old theater performing his ritual."

It is correct to write "Suddenly he saw his old friend, in a worse condition than usual, which caused that Kevin decided to break his self-imposed rules of his own ritual and came to talk to Ralf.."



The first sentence ("Ralf, a hobo, was sitting on the street with his dog.") is fine.

The second sentence needs a comma after "theater". Without the comma it seems to say that it was the old theater (not Kevin) which was performing his ritual.
Also, one crosses at a traffic light. Besides that, "on foot" seems redundant, since you say that Kevin was walking.
And "walking the streets" feels a bit strange — it's what a prostitute ("streetwalker") does for a living.

- Crossing at the traffic light was Kevin, walking along the street toward the old theater, performing his ritual.

As for the third sentence, You know who I am has already explained the problem with "caused that …"
We don't normally use an article before the word "condition" preceded by an adjective, as: "in good/better/fine/bad/poor/worse condition".
And, finally, the end of the sentence seems to contain more words than necessary, so let me suggest:

- Suddenly he saw his old friend, in worse condition than usual, which caused him to break from his routine and stop to talk to Ralf.

Note that "break from" is an idiom meaning "to interrupt or temporarily abandon" his ritual (his "routine").

  EDIT: Cross-posted with thar — Too much think time!

thar
Posted: Thursday, June 22, 2017 5:52:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 7/8/2010
Posts: 15,762
Neurons: 63,010
This is more of an enquiry than a correction, because something just feels odd to me, but I'm not sure if others feel the same.

What does 'hobo' mean to you?

To me it does not mean a down-and-out, or drunk, which seems to be the implication here.

To me it just means someone who doesn't stay in one place - a wanderer who keeps moving on to the next town, walking the roads, riding the freight trains.


Is that just because I've seen too many old films, and the modern meaning is different? I know it's an American term, and to me it is a specific idea of a certain time and culture, an idealised figure. Is that just me? Has it lost that mystique (if it ever had it)?

Just wondering. Think
Any comments?

NKM
Posted: Friday, June 23, 2017 9:35:21 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 2/14/2015
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Location: Corinth, New York, United States
You're not alone in this, Thar.

To me, a "hobo" is essentially just a vagabond, usually one who travels by means of freight trains rather than more "respectable" transport.

Any implication of drunkenness or immorality is peripheral, except for the fact that "riding the rails" is illegal (trespassing and "theft of services").

You know who I am
Posted: Friday, June 23, 2017 10:07:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/13/2017
Posts: 597
Neurons: 4,702
Location: Olinda, Pernambuco, Brazil
thar wrote:
This is more of an enquiry than a correction, because something just feels odd to me, but I'm not sure if others feel the same.

What does 'hobo' mean to you?

To me it does not mean a down-and-out, or drunk, which seems to be the implication here.

To me it just means someone who doesn't stay in one place - a wanderer who keeps moving on to the next town, walking the roads, riding the freight trains.


Is that just because I've seen too many old films, and the modern meaning is different? I know it's an American term, and to me it is a specific idea of a certain time and culture, an idealised figure. Is that just me? Has it lost that mystique (if it ever had it)?

Just wondering. Think
Any comments?



In my language, "vagabond" or "hobo" means a person who's got no job neither does he look for one; one who doesn't care about having a respected and worthy life.. When I hear someone call other vagabond, I can only picture a man thrown in the street, drinking vodka and knocking his mother's house door to ask to spend the night over there because he has no house.

I am the way, and the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through Me. - John 14:6
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, June 23, 2017 11:36:58 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 26,896
Neurons: 146,892
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

A hobo is a migrant worker. He (usually 'he') travels from town to town doing a day's work here, a week's work there.
A tramp wanders and travels aimlessly, only occasionally doing an odd job.
A bum doesn't work.

Quote:
Tramps and hobos are commonly lumped together, but see themselves as sharply differentiated. A hobo or bo is simply a migratory laborer; he may take some longish holidays, but sooner or later he returns to work. Lower than either is the bum, who neither works nor travels, save when impelled to motion by the police.
The American Language - H. L. Mencken

Jack Reacher in the books by Lee Child is a hobo.

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Sarrriesfan
Posted: Friday, June 23, 2017 7:02:19 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/30/2016
Posts: 690
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Location: Luton, England, United Kingdom
Drag0nspeaker wrote:

A hobo is a migrant worker. He (usually 'he') travels from town to town doing a day's work here, a week's work there.
A tramp wanders and travels aimlessly, only occasionally doing an odd job.
A bum doesn't work.

Quote:
Tramps and hobos are commonly lumped together, but see themselves as sharply differentiated. A hobo or bo is simply a migratory laborer; he may take some longish holidays, but sooner or later he returns to work. Lower than either is the bum, who neither works nor travels, save when impelled to motion by the police.
The American Language - H. L. Mencken

Jack Reacher in the books by Lee Child is a hobo.


I would have said Jack Reacher was more of a drifter,

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/drifter

He seems to rely on his Army Pension and savings more than getting real jobs, unless you count protecting the innocent and punching thugs as a job?

I lack the imagination for a witty signature.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Saturday, June 24, 2017 6:56:24 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 26,896
Neurons: 146,892
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Sarrriesfan wrote:
I would have said Jack Reacher was more of a drifter,

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/drifter

He seems to rely on his Army Pension and savings more than getting real jobs, unless you count protecting the innocent and punching thugs as a job?

Hmmmm Think

Yes - I was thinking of the books in which he is (in the first chapters) working digging swimming pools in Florida, or cleaning in a bar at night.

However, he does fit the description of 'drifter' - no fixed job and continually moving around (in some of the later books, he does own a house, but it is not his home).

I would count punching thugs (and blowing them up) is more of a hobby than a job. Whistle

Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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