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Kunstniete
Posted: Tuesday, July 11, 2017 7:22:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/25/2017
Posts: 1,255
Neurons: 259,261
Location: Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Q - What was the most intriguing chat-up you ever received?

A - Say that again, please.

The value of choice is not in the size of the action but in its effect.
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, July 15, 2017 12:38:29 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,145
Neurons: 46,877
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Do you not understand, Kunstniete?

That darn buzzer is ringing again!

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Monday, July 17, 2017 9:24:34 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 29,916
Neurons: 174,211
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Why not just relax?

A - Too much to do.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Kunstniete
Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 6:10:54 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/25/2017
Posts: 1,255
Neurons: 259,261
Location: Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Q - Why don't you want to enjoy this gratis vacation-trip around the world?

A - I don't understand klingonian.

The value of choice is not in the size of the action but in its effect.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, July 18, 2017 8:21:20 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 29,916
Neurons: 174,211
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - qaStaH nuq?

A - The world continues to revolve, life goes on.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
anton exobio
Posted: Wednesday, July 19, 2017 11:58:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 15,604
Neurons: 49,475
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q- Alright, you've just lost everything you owned: what's next?


A- She's so unromantic...
IMcRout
Posted: Thursday, July 20, 2017 3:47:56 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,311
Neurons: 556,414
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Q - Why not take her to watch the submarine races?


A - I hate sitting on the Harley behind her.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Ursus Minor
Posted: Thursday, July 20, 2017 7:39:52 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
You don't spend much time together since you married that witch, do you, IMcRout?

A stitch in time saves nine.
FounDit
Posted: Thursday, July 20, 2017 11:05:57 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 9,420
Neurons: 50,129
Q:...Why are you practicing making sutures?


A:...Golly, what a gash!

We should look to the past to learn from it, not destroy our future because of it — FounDit
Ursus Minor
Posted: Monday, July 24, 2017 3:00:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
I made a facelift yesterday, don't you see?

Your parrot lacks good manners.
anton exobio
Posted: Monday, July 24, 2017 5:49:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 15,604
Neurons: 49,475
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q- What do you think about the way Robert interacts with people?


A- He was about to tell me the combination of his safe when he suddenly died under the pressure of my hands around his neck.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Monday, July 24, 2017 6:40:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,154
Neurons: 86,544
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: And why are you fretting now?


A: An inch of ginger and a little pepper should do.

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
Ursus Minor
Posted: Monday, July 24, 2017 7:14:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
Do you know any effective remedy to relieve his overhang?


If you want to gather honey don't kick over the beehive.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Friday, July 28, 2017 6:23:38 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,154
Neurons: 86,544
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: Heyyy why won't you let go of my foot?



A: Well sauce for the gander all right.... not sure about the silly goose.

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, July 30, 2017 7:52:07 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 29,916
Neurons: 174,211
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Do you think Alice deserved the same punishment as her brother?

A - Off with her head!


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Hope123
Posted: Sunday, July 30, 2017 11:06:45 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,145
Neurons: 46,877
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
What are your plans for your gran's doll, Drago?

Ten thousand steps a day!

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Ursus Minor
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 3:38:33 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
How do you manage to keep your leggs in such a beautiful form?

I am a lone lorn creature ang everything goes contrary with me.
anton exobio
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 5:22:47 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 15,604
Neurons: 49,475
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q- What is your latest poem about?


A- First I was afraid, I was petrified - but I survived ♫♪
Kunstniete
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 6:26:18 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/25/2017
Posts: 1,255
Neurons: 259,261
Location: Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Q - What did you feel when entering the supermarket?

A - She went for late-night-shopping and was never seen again.

The value of choice is not in the size of the action but in its effect.
anton exobio
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 6:37:44 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 15,604
Neurons: 49,475
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q- Any news from your sleepwalking cousin?


A- I'm just trying to look human.
Ursus Minor
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 6:50:02 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
Don't you wear a kilt with a tam-o'-shanter any more?

That was the end of Solomon Grandy.
anton exobio
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 7:28:51 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 15,604
Neurons: 49,475
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q- Is there any specific reason why you want to die on a Saturday then get buried the following day?


A- One of NASA's Chief Scientists predicts they'll be found by 2025.
Kunstniete
Posted: Monday, July 31, 2017 8:09:59 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/25/2017
Posts: 1,255
Neurons: 259,261
Location: Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Q - How long do have to search for aliens?

A - A whisky made of blueberries and cheesecake.

The value of choice is not in the size of the action but in its effect.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Tuesday, August 1, 2017 11:59:59 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,154
Neurons: 86,544
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: And what is that rare last ingredient for the potion that renders one invisible for an hour?


A: Only 40 questions were allowed.

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Wednesday, August 2, 2017 12:00:08 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,154
Neurons: 86,544
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: And what is that rare last ingredient for the potion that renders one invisible for an hour?


A: Only 40 questions were allowed.

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
Ursus Minor
Posted: Wednesday, August 2, 2017 4:41:38 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
How did it occur that Saint Peter let you enter the paradise?


It served the old fool right.
Kunstniete
Posted: Wednesday, August 2, 2017 7:40:23 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/25/2017
Posts: 1,255
Neurons: 259,261
Location: Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Q - What do you think about Santa Claus's fatal accident with falling satellite debris?

A - He lay in the green grass.

The value of choice is not in the size of the action but in its effect.
Ursus Minor
Posted: Friday, August 4, 2017 8:10:29 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
Where did you find your bridegroom after the wedding party?


Nothing falls into the mouth of a sleeping fox.
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Saturday, August 5, 2017 12:02:24 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 12,154
Neurons: 86,544
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: Are you OK? Why are you on the prowl all the time?


A: No only the pendulum swings; the hands don't move at all.

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
IMcRout
Posted: Saturday, August 5, 2017 12:30:11 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 35,311
Neurons: 556,414
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Q: Your new digital kitchen clock works okay?


A: He mentioned a certain Lady Mondegreen.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, August 5, 2017 6:07:14 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,145
Neurons: 46,877
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
What was his excuse for screwing up, IMc?

The BBQ is hot.

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Hope123
Posted: Monday, August 7, 2017 11:03:41 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 8,145
Neurons: 46,877
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
When do we eat?

No food for twelve hours!

Elitism is the slur directed at merit by mediocrity. -Sydney J. Harris, journalist (14 Sep 1917-1986)
Kunstniete
Posted: Tuesday, August 8, 2017 1:21:14 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 1/25/2017
Posts: 1,255
Neurons: 259,261
Location: Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Q - What is usually your first thought when you wake up?

A - We did a trip around the world by bicycle.

The value of choice is not in the size of the action but in its effect.
Ursus Minor
Posted: Wednesday, August 9, 2017 5:44:45 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 6/13/2016
Posts: 591
Neurons: 2,451
Location: Inozemtsevo, Stavropol'skiy, Russia
What did you do after stealing those bikes?


Take away this cup from me
for I don't want to taste its poison.
anton exobio
Posted: Wednesday, August 9, 2017 6:25:34 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 15,604
Neurons: 49,475
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q- Why would your being a "superstar" prevent you from drinking the coffee I've just made for you?


A- I encourage you to patent it.
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