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SkyIsBlue
Posted: Friday, December 23, 2016 7:21:13 AM
Rank: Newbie

Joined: 12/23/2016
Posts: 7
Neurons: 156
Location: Cebu City, Central Visayas, Philippines
Q: Why does she look at you when I'm talking?

A: I can hear your dog snore.
anton exobio
Posted: Friday, December 23, 2016 10:56:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: Is your hearing aid working at last?


A: I'm the reincarnation of Uncle Scrooge.




♪♫
MelissaMe
Posted: Friday, December 23, 2016 2:50:47 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 8/10/2014
Posts: 5,313
Neurons: 338,583
Location: Gualala, California, United States
Q. Why haven't you bought any Christmas presents, anton?

A. Because my Mamá said so!

This is my only now.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, December 23, 2016 5:55:59 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - What makes you think that eating nettles will stop you from becoming fat?

A - Vitamin P


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Hope123
Posted: Friday, December 23, 2016 6:51:25 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Why do you get up in the night, Drago? Whistle

A "Rocky Mountain Rails" trip



A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
IMcRout
Posted: Saturday, December 24, 2016 5:47:52 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 32,497
Neurons: 417,184
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Q: So what did you do instead of that River Rhine cruise, Hope?


A: It only hurts at night.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, December 25, 2016 7:18:40 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Why do you spend six months in the Arctic and six months in the Antarctic?

A - Follow the swallow.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Hope123
Posted: Sunday, December 25, 2016 10:16:26 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Why did you travel from Argentina to San Juan, Capistrano, Drago?

western music

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, December 25, 2016 10:20:00 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q - What do you mean "Country"?

A - It's just the Moon.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
anton exobio
Posted: Monday, December 26, 2016 11:28:16 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: Why is that UFO following us???


A: This really isn't worth worrying about it.

♪♫
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, December 27, 2016 11:59:07 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
When did you decide to not sweat the small stuff, Anton?

I'll get over you.


A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
anton exobio
Posted: Wednesday, December 28, 2016 12:06:13 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: What's the title of the song you've written to your partner?


A: His affability is just a facade.

♪♫
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Thursday, December 29, 2016 7:28:07 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - That nice Baron Dracul seems quite charming doesn't he?

A - Bet your life on it!


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
Hope123
Posted: Monday, January 02, 2017 5:27:55 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Are you really going to do THAT, Drago?

The soup smells good.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
anton exobio
Posted: Tuesday, January 03, 2017 6:06:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: What do you think about my "Spooky Soup" as I call it?


A: Speech is silver, silence is golden.

♪♫
Hope123
Posted: Friday, January 06, 2017 8:52:00 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Why aren't you practising your speech, Anton?

It is twilight time when the ghosts appear.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Friday, January 06, 2017 10:34:42 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - I love the evening, don't you?

A - The sky's so red!


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
anton exobio
Posted: Tuesday, January 10, 2017 10:31:49 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: Do you like my new painting, "Kite In Hell"?


A: You look cute together.

♪♫
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Wednesday, January 11, 2017 6:52:47 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q. Have you met my pet Orangutan?

A. Orange hair.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
anton exobio
Posted: Thursday, January 12, 2017 6:17:11 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: Do you really have red hair?


A: Coffee!

♪♫
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Thursday, January 12, 2017 9:34:28 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Would you like beer, whisky or gin?

A - Whatever's wet.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
FounDit
Posted: Friday, January 13, 2017 11:38:10 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 7,799
Neurons: 41,164
Q:...You do know, don't you, that my mind goes to strange places when you say things like that to me?


A:...slick as rain on a pane.

A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
Articulate Dreamer
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2017 1:50:31 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/16/2009
Posts: 11,422
Neurons: 72,532
Location: Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Q: Is it really that slippery?


A: You find him, I'll fix him.

"...hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
anton exobio
Posted: Tuesday, January 17, 2017 2:42:44 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: Who's that James Hadley Chase???


A: I'm confused, I don't know who you are.

♪♫
Hope123
Posted: Saturday, January 21, 2017 8:04:18 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Why are you looking at me so strangely, Anton?

A 90th birthday party tomorrow!



A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
anton exobio
Posted: Sunday, January 22, 2017 6:09:00 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: Why all that decoration on your medical walker?


A: You should have known.

♪♫
Hope123
Posted: Monday, January 23, 2017 11:04:47 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Why are you asking me?

All that delicious food!



A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
Jyrkkä Jätkä
Posted: Tuesday, January 24, 2017 6:11:38 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/21/2009
Posts: 37,608
Neurons: 238,686
Location: Helsinki, Southern Finland Province, Finland
Q. How come you travel to Florida every year?

A. I'm all flabbergasted!


In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Tuesday, January 24, 2017 8:13:59 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom
Q - Are you eating OK these days - your gast seems rather flabby doesn't it?

A - Gastronomic.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
FounDit
Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2017 11:18:59 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/19/2011
Posts: 7,799
Neurons: 41,164
Q:...You know what I'm not?


A:...Meat and potatoes

A great many people will think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. ~ William James ~
anton exobio
Posted: Friday, January 27, 2017 10:01:50 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 4/10/2014
Posts: 14,712
Neurons: 39,743
Location: Le Mans, Pays de la Loire, France
Q: What's for breakfast?


A: In another life, maybe...

♪♫
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2017 1:27:31 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - When shall we three meet again?

A - In thunder, lightning or in rain.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
IMcRout
Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2017 4:50:46 AM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 5/27/2011
Posts: 32,497
Neurons: 417,184
Location: Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Q: This car's weird. Whenever can you use it?

A: Two gallons per mile.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Anon)
Hope123
Posted: Tuesday, January 31, 2017 11:16:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 3/23/2015
Posts: 5,745
Neurons: 34,471
Location: Burlington, Ontario, Canada
Why do you not drive your 1939 chevy, IMc? What kind of mileage does it get?

I would not sign their waiver of liability.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. Albert Einstein
Drag0nspeaker
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2017 1:32:48 PM

Rank: Advanced Member

Joined: 9/12/2011
Posts: 25,226
Neurons: 131,308
Location: Livingston, Scotland, United Kingdom

Q - Why did the solicitors "Fleecem, Connem and Flee" refuse your business?

A - Typical Lawyers.


Wyrd bið ful aræd - bull!
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